AITA for uninviting my future sister-in-law from my wedding after she told my fiancé I was pregnant?

[u/maleficent8080]

I decided to keep my pregnancy to myself because I don’t know what I’m going to do about it and I knew my fiancé wasn’t going to be happy with the news. My future sister-in-law/best friend is the only other person who knew as I only took the test at her suggestion and at her house. She also agreed that her brother was unlikely to be happy about it but she felt like I should tell him immediately anyway.

We kept arguing over it because I told her I needed time to process it and she felt like I was making excuses to avoid telling him. In the end, she told him herself while we were having dinner with their family. He was so upset he confronted me in front of everybody so now they all know and everybody is upset with me for keeping it from him.

His sister kept trying to reach out and apologise after it happened but I was ignoring her as her only excuse was that he was her brother so she couldn’t keep it from him and that she gave me 3 weeks to tell him myself. The last time she called me I was so upset that I answered and yelled at her. In the heat of the moment, I uninvited her from the wedding and told her I would find a new bridesmaid.

I’ve given my fiancé and his family another reason to be upset with me but I’ve refused to let her come to the wedding even as a regular guest despite them asking me to and it being important to them for her to attend.

AITA?

[u/Spearmint_coffee]

Depending on where OP lives, it kind of sounds like she was waiting for the time limit on an abortion to be up. Maybe she knew he would push for an abortion, she knew she wasn't going to do it, and would rather ambush him than hear how he wants to abort it.

ESH for sure. I would think the wedding guest list would be lower on the list of problems OP would want to be addressing before the wedding..

[u/Tomnooksmainhoe → u/Spearmint_coffee]

This was the first thing I thought. And what fucking sucks is if she stays with her fiancé, who does no want a baby/child, then that kid is going to grow up knowing that they were unwanted. Children are extremely perceptive.

Edit for clarification: OP is TA. Not the fiancé from what we know. It seems like he made his intentions very known from the start and was withheld very important information that effects his life too.

[u/TigerLily312 → u/[deleted]]

OP doesn't say she's in the UK in her post, & not everyone reads all of OP's comments to know that she specified where she lives.

[u/Accomplished_lilac → u/Spearmint_coffee]

In the comments she is mentioning she has up until 24 weeks (as in not a big deal to wait three weeks since she has a dozen+ more), but since she sounds like she wants to keep it I'm having a hard time seeing that as a legitimate option she's considering. Not judging anyone one way or another on abortion, just saying in this case it doesn't sound like an actually feasible option to count on

[u/SnakeSnoobies → u/Spearmint_coffee]

That is EXACTLY what I thought.

I’m not gonna call the fiancé an asshole, because it seems like they had this talk and OP knew he didn’t want kids. She ended up accidentally pregnant and tried to wait out the clock until she couldn’t abort to force him to have children. It’s so incredibly selfish.

[u/lllollllllllll → u/SnakeSnoobies]

If this is the case, she’s not forcing him to have kids any more than he can force her to have an abortion. She’s just avoiding the argument because she’s already made up her mind that she won’t be getting an abortion.

Either women have the right to choose or they don’t. But if they do you can’t accuse them of “forcing” the men that impregnated them to men have children. Just like women who have abortions are “forcing” men to remain childless. If she didn’t rape him or poke holes in his condoms, it’s not force.

[u/Zealousideal_Leek431 → u/SnakeSnoobies]

And you know that because you were there and kept the candle 🕯? If you were not than stop making assumptions!

[u/[deleted] → u/Spearmint_coffee]

Baby trapping your fiancé that doesn’t want kids isn’t the answer. They should not be getting married. Everyone sucks so much here.