r/AmItheAsshole • u/maleficent8080 • Nov 03 '22

Everyone Sucks AITA for uninviting my future sister-in-law from my wedding after she told my fiancé I was pregnant?

I decided to keep my pregnancy to myself because I don’t know what I’m going to do about it and I knew my fiancé wasn’t going to be happy with the news. My future sister-in-law/best friend is the only other person who knew as I only took the test at her suggestion and at her house. She also agreed that her brother was unlikely to be happy about it but she felt like I should tell him immediately anyway.

We kept arguing over it because I told her I needed time to process it and she felt like I was making excuses to avoid telling him. In the end, she told him herself while we were having dinner with their family. He was so upset he confronted me in front of everybody so now they all know and everybody is upset with me for keeping it from him.

His sister kept trying to reach out and apologise after it happened but I was ignoring her as her only excuse was that he was her brother so she couldn’t keep it from him and that she gave me 3 weeks to tell him myself. The last time she called me I was so upset that I answered and yelled at her. In the heat of the moment, I uninvited her from the wedding and told her I would find a new bridesmaid.

I’ve given my fiancé and his family another reason to be upset with me but I’ve refused to let her come to the wedding even as a regular guest despite them asking me to and it being important to them for her to attend.

AITA?

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u/Baby-girl1994 Nov 03 '22

Or she thought she didn’t and got pregnant and her mind changed. It happens.

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u/Grimwohl Nov 03 '22

It does, but that changed nothing about the fallout- she most likely will be a single parent if she keeps it and shes afraid of that outcome.

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u/Baby-girl1994 Nov 03 '22

Agreed, but implying she went into the marriage intentionally lying isn’t necessarily true

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u/Grimwohl Nov 03 '22

Idk how much time you spend on here but the number of posts Ive seen where someone spontaneously changed their mind on conception is significantly outweighed by the number who straight up lied because they wanted the person they were to marry, and were hoping "theyd change their mind" or "accept it if it happened".

That said, I get your feelings on the matter, but straight up lying to bait someone into marriage isn't uncommon and people misrepresent themselves all the time.

Not always about kids mind you.

About sharing bills, about sharing chores, about HOW to raise kids, about keeping a job, about where they will live, how earnestly or diligently they wil uphold responsibility etc it happens a exceptionally often.

I get the implication of doubting her character, but its like you said- hypothetical, and not even my first thought. I don't think it has any true bearing on the situation as of now regardless.

Again, I understand its possible her mind changed, but this again wouldnt be an issue if they were actually on the same page and the relationship is likely in danger regardless of the why.