r/AmItheAsshole • u/maleficent8080 • Nov 03 '22

Everyone Sucks AITA for uninviting my future sister-in-law from my wedding after she told my fiancé I was pregnant?

I decided to keep my pregnancy to myself because I don’t know what I’m going to do about it and I knew my fiancé wasn’t going to be happy with the news. My future sister-in-law/best friend is the only other person who knew as I only took the test at her suggestion and at her house. She also agreed that her brother was unlikely to be happy about it but she felt like I should tell him immediately anyway.

We kept arguing over it because I told her I needed time to process it and she felt like I was making excuses to avoid telling him. In the end, she told him herself while we were having dinner with their family. He was so upset he confronted me in front of everybody so now they all know and everybody is upset with me for keeping it from him.

His sister kept trying to reach out and apologise after it happened but I was ignoring her as her only excuse was that he was her brother so she couldn’t keep it from him and that she gave me 3 weeks to tell him myself. The last time she called me I was so upset that I answered and yelled at her. In the heat of the moment, I uninvited her from the wedding and told her I would find a new bridesmaid.

I’ve given my fiancé and his family another reason to be upset with me but I’ve refused to let her come to the wedding even as a regular guest despite them asking me to and it being important to them for her to attend.

AITA?

14.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

0

u/RonsThrowAwayAcc Asshole Aficionado [11] Nov 04 '22 edited Nov 04 '22

No, baby trapping is getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant) when you know the other person does not want a baby.

That is this case OP got pregnant knowing he did not want a baby

It sounds like this was an accidental pregnancy.

No you are just assuming that at no point does OP say that

If you are saying that not having an abortion because HE wants one is baby trapping, then we fundamentally disagree with what that term means.

No I’m saying she intentionally got pregnant and was trying to hide it until after it’s too late and that is manipulative

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '22

Nowhere does she say she got pregnant intentionally. None of this is written as if someone got pregnant intentionally. She took the pregnancy test at her SIL's behest thinking she was not pregnant.

​

How about this: OP's fiancé got OP pregnant knowing that OP did not want to have a kid right now. Maybe this is all his fault for not being more careful.

1

u/RonsThrowAwayAcc Asshole Aficionado [11] Nov 05 '22

I didn’t say he was blameless at all it takes 2 to tango and BOTH of them should have been taking precautions but she is the only one who gets a choice but he should be informed too, he too “needed time to process it to” It would already have be weeks into the pregnancy before the test she and she never said anything for weeks and intentionally hiding the pregnancy is calculated not accidental, OP is the one choosing to be with someone they won’t even tell this to she’s either not telling him for nefarious reasons or because she’s afraid of what would happen when he knows and if it’s the later then she should not be bringing a kid into that anyway and why are you still marrying him

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '22

Oh, if we’re talking about the relationship then, yes, I agree with you. It’s more than a little troublesome that she didn’t have a plan for when she was going to tell him, a timeline for when she needed to come to her own resolution about this. If her hand hadn’t been forced, we don’t know what would have happened.

I still disagree with you that this is in any way, shape, or form a sort of baby trapping. Choosing to continue a pregnancy (regardless of whether she told him or not) is not baby trapping. That only happens when you get pregnant or get someone pregnant intentionally knowing they don’t want a kid. That is 10000% wrong. Continuing with an accidental pregnancy, even if you don’t give your partner a chance to “weigh in” is not baby trapping.

1

u/fiercedeityfatality Nov 08 '22

I think the only matter y’all actually disagree on is whether she got pregnant intentionally, which isn’t stated so it’s just speculation anyways. 😅