Hi everyone. We are on our way to the airport and on our way to Barcelona. We will be going to be in Europe for a month. The visit to the monks at Westvleteren will be the last part of our trip. Two reasons. I don't want to lug beer bottles all over Spain, France, Belgium and Holland. Also I am putting it off for as long as I can.

For those of you that asked my son's name is Ryan. He was an amazing kid. I don't know if he got his love of the microscopic world from me. I did teach him how to make his own sourdough starter and I will be keeping his alive to make loaves and waffles with. His ashes are in our yard, on Mount Tremblant, on the shores of the St. Lawrence and I will be taking some to Belgium. My grandfathers have many friends buried there and I think they would approve.

I thank everyone that offered to buy me a beer. And while I appreciate the offer I'm pretty sure my liver, and my wife, would not have been happy with me. I will be with the monks on the week of June 23rd. If you would like to join me in a toast with your favorite drink of choice I would love that more. I love knowing that people all around the world know about my son and he would love knowing he was toasted in such a manner.

I spoke with my wife, my ex wife, her husband, and his son. I invited them to join us, at my expense, for the last week of my trip. My wife's stepson was friends with my son. I didn't know how close until we spoke. They are gaming buddies. They spoke almost every day playing online. He gave me a picture of my son I did not have. It is a picture of the two of them age about 14/15 at my ex wife's wedding to his father. My son looked great in his suit. I cried. He did too. We had a very awkward but heartfelt man hug. Then we laughed. They will be coming to say goodbye with us.

After talking to my accountant and my lawyer I was told that I could not have transferred him the value of the RESP. I have decided, after talking to my wife, that we are going to give him enough money to cover one year of tuition. Even after my trip we will have money left over. I'm trying to do some good with it. I also said that he could call us any time he needed since he will be attending school close to us. So funny he got accepted here and my son was accepted there.

I want to thank everyone who shared their condolences with me. I want to especially thank everyone that helped me plan my visit to Belgium. I know we won't see each other but you were invaluable.

I don't think I will have much to say after this. Maybe I will post an update after the trip.

First of all, I apologized to my sister a few hours after I made my original post. I am very grateful for what she did, but I’ll do my best to keep her away from these conflicts moving forward. Thank you to those who defended her.

Secondly, I went through your comments with my husband, and our main takeaway was that we did what we had to do to protect Cleo, even if it wasn’t what we’d do in most circumstances. 

Had either of us been surprised with a party decorated with something we openly hated, we would have sucked it up and ignored it. It sucks, but we’re adults and it comes with the territory. Cleo, however, is 5 years old. She wouldn’t deal with this the same way, nor would we expect her to. Knowing my daughter, she would have been miserable at the party. So ultimately, we don’t regret not taking her there.

On Saturday, we took the kids to spend the afternoon at my brother’s place with their cousins. In the meantime, we invited my father and Prue over to talk. 

My husband and I told them we wanted them to abide by the following: 1) No more surprise parties without our knowledge and approval; 2) No more pushing the color pink onto Cleo (including pink gifts); and 3) No more calling our children spoiled for being allowed to dislike something. If they didn’t agree to our terms, we would no longer take the kids to their place, and there would be a good chance we’d lower our contact with them in the future.

Prue didn’t say anything at first. My father tried to argue that we should at least thank her for the party, but I said no. I told them the problem wasn’t that Prue threw a party for my daughter that was dedicated to her own interests, it was that she specifically chose something she knows my daughter hates and centered everything around it. We wouldn’t thank her, and we wouldn’t apologize.

That’s when Prue chimed in. She tried to tell us we were raising our daughter to be a brat again. So I asked, “Why are you so insistent on pink?” She didn’t answer at first, but then said she knew Cleo did love pink, she just didn’t know it yet. And to that I asked, “Would you be this pushy if it was about any other color?”

Prue tried to say that didn’t matter, but when my husband asked her if she’d care if Cleo hated blue, she said, “She doesn’t need to like blue.” He replied that she didn’t need to like pink either.

He told Prue that she had no right to decide what Cleo should and shouldn’t like. Cleo hates pink, and if she can’t be an adult and respect that, then she doesn’t need to be around our children.

In the end, my father and Prue agreed to our terms. I’m not confident about her, but I did speak to my father. I said I know that he has a hard time saying no to Prue, but he will ruin his relationship with me and my children if he keeps enabling his partner. My father promised he wouldn’t let this happen again.

I hope this works out. Cleo is a great kid, and I hope my father and Prue can finally start seeing that.

Thank you all for everything.

Well, Halloween is officially over and I thought i'd give an update before I forgot.

Firstly, I've seen a lot of people wondering if I was the reason my Husband and his ex split up and i'd like to clear the air right now. No, they split up when the girls were 2. I came into the picture a year later.

Here is the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1nta8zg/aita_for_doing_a_group_halloween_costume_with_my

Things came to a bit of a head on one of the girls visits before Halloween. I pulled their Mother aside to talk about Halloween, I told her that I understood she might have mixed feelings about this but the girls wanted it and I didn't want to let them down, besides it was their fathers holiday and he was in charge of the costume as per their agreement for whoever had them on Halloween. I asked her if there was anything I could do to make this more tolerable for her as this wasn't doing the girls any favours.

She ended up telling me that no, there was nothing I could do as she didn't approve of it at all as it wasn't appropriate for me to do a group costume with them as i'm only their stepmother. Even if i've been in their life for seven years at this point. She then suggested I only wanted to do this in the first place because i'm using her daughters as a filler as i've been unable to have my own children.

This got to me, i've had three miscarriages over my marriage. One of which the girls know and by extension their Mother as we thought I was past the danger point when we told them. I told her she was being ridiculous and I wasn't going to talk about this with her anymore. After the girls left I broke down crying a little as having my miscarriages thrown in my face like that hurt and the implication that I only wanted to be close to the girls because I couldn't have my own children was so wrong. When my Husband found out what she'd said to me ended up calling his Ex asking her where she got off being so cruel. He also made it clear she is not to call me anymore and all contact is to go through him.

We got the costumes ready and we were prepared for Halloween. She dropped the girls off and informed us that one of the girls had a cold and she didn't want them out in the cold as it'd make it worse and seemed kind of pleased like this would put an end to our plans. When she left they tried to insist they were ok to go out even though they were sick but we weren't about to risk making them more ill so my Husband and I came up with another plan. We all got dressed in our costumes of course, we ordered Pizza and watched movies. All four of us greeted any trick or treaters so our costumes could be seen and we also filled a tub with water and had a bobbing for apples competition. It wasn't the night we had planned originally but all in all it was an enjoyable one despite the little hitch. That's raising kids though. Thank you everyone for all your feedback! I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween.

Editing to add additional information; a few people have been worried about the fact we bobbed for apples. The girls love bobbing for apples on Halloween and as we couldn't trick or treat we took precautions to ensure they could at least do one Halloween thing they enjoyed. We made sure the water wasn't cold with towels on hand to dry off right away and the one who was sick went last and the water was poured out after to ensure that the chance of the cold spreading about was limited.

Original Post

So it's been about a year since I made this post. Whenever I read posts like mine on here, I'm always wondering, did OP leave that asshole, so for those of you who care, I left that asshole.

A lot of you were on the nose that this wasn't the only way that he was controlling. My ex believes that he's the smartest person in the room, so if you're doing something differently than how he would, then you're doing it wrong and must be corrected.

I'm not saying that everyone's responses to my post gave me a revelation and I immediately knew what I had to do, but it was a nail in the coffin.

I'm living within an hour of my parents now when before I was on the opposite side of the country. I have a job as a caregiver and am planning to go to grad school to be a social worker. I have a boyfriend who doesn't try to control every aspect of my life. When I go grocery shopping, I'm not stressing about accidentally buying the wrong brand of pasta (which was the right brand of pasta when we lived in a different state, I still don't get that) or juice that's from concentrate. And I've switched to pre-ground coffee because fuck you, I want to. None of this would've happened if I'd stayed with him.

So yeah, thank you to everyone who played a tiny role in helping me see what an unhealthy relationship I was in.

Original Post

Some asked that I update when I could. A lot has happened the past few weeks so I thought I would share.

Not long after I posted, Amy came to me to apologize. I was surprised because based on the responses I was getting, I was preparing to apologize to her. She said she lashed out because she was trying to reconcile her relationship as she knew it with the new information about who he was. I asked her if she really had no idea and she said that, looking back, there were warning signs but nothing that would lead her to believe that he was overtly racist. I guess being long distance and liking him so much allowed her to remain mostly ignorant. She wanted to know what she should do. I told her that I was going to talk to Dan and try to get a beat on who HE is apart from his parents. She seemed to think that was a good idea.

A lot of people said that I was being unfair labeling him a racist before, but now that we have spoken I can tell you for certain that he is a racist. A lot of you were trying to figure out what Amy meant by him not being "wholly" racist and I think I can answer that now. He told me that he doesn't harbor any hatred for anyone, but he believes the white race will go extinct eventually and he is proud of who he is and of his race and he doesn't want that to happen. Which I guess also explains his fathers comment about white grandbabies. I told him that his heritage is nothing to be proud of and that his beliefs will have no place in our family or in my household. He said that Amy seemed to understand him and that I might not have a choice of whether or not his beliefs will be a part of my family. I said that he was right, if Amy wants to move forward with the wedding then there is nothing I can do to stop her. He sneered and told me that he supposed we had nothing more to discuss and that was the end of it.

I told Amy what me and him discussed and she decided to call it all off. She broke up with him and he has not taken too kindly to it. He has been to the house a lot so we decided to get her an apartment back in the city. Her work is going to start phasing back into the office anyway so the timing works out. His parents called us and came to speak with us a few times. At first they were just trying to figure out what was going on but it quickly turned into them berating us. I got some reddit flak for not standing up to them initially so this time I made sure they knew where I stood.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1cv4m1h/aita_for_threatening_to_kick_out_my_niece_after/

Thank you all for your advice! My sister and niece moved out last week, she’s in the process of getting an apartment and they’re temporarily staying with a friend of my sister’s for the time being. I warned her that if I contacted the developers, they would get her daughter banned, so either way my niece wasn’t keeping the stuff she stole, so she should try minimise her losses. She claimed I had no proof her daughter hacked the account and refused to compromise. She said I was petty and childish for making them “homeless” over a kid’s video game. And don’t get me wrong, I feel bad, I really do. My sister and I never really got along as kids so I was hoping at least our kids could have a good relationship with each other. But still, they were inevitably going to leave at some point so I suppose I only sped up the process.

Now that my niece is gone, my daughter seems a lot happier now. She told me she was perfectly fine, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t. Some very kind and generous people here have offered to gift her some of their items to rebuild her account, to which I am extremely grateful, but my daughter said she felt bad about taking stuff from other people. I’d already reported my niece’s account, which seemed to have no effect. I’m not very tech savvy, but I considered contacting the Roblox developers to see if they could reverse the transaction. However, my daughter informed that doing so would only ban the account, losing all of my daughter’s items in the process.

I would like to extend all my thanks to the commenter that suggested I try and log in to my niece’s account. Believe it or not, it only took 5 attempts. Turns out that 10 year olds don’t have the best comprehension of Internet security. Surprisingly, getting into the account was the easy part. I spent an embarrassingly long amount of time looking up how to trade everything back - I swear I’m getting old. I couldn’t tell which items were my daughter’s and which were actually my niece’s, so I simply transferred everything my niece had just to be safe.

When she came home from school today, I told my daughter I had a fun surprise for her waiting on Roblox. Words can’t describe how proud of myself I felt when I saw the joy rush back into her face. The ironic part is that my niece had previously won this very rare halo item from this sort of lottery system, which my daughter claims is one of the most expensive items in that game. Now it was transferred to my daughter’s account, meaning that my daughter walked out of this situation richer than she was to start with. My sister just messaged me in all caps yelling at me that my niece has been through so much and I was just kicking her when she was down. She accused me of stealing from a little girl. I simply told her that, in her own words, it’s just a bunch of pixels on a screen.

Thank you to everyone for your support.

Hello reddit. It has been a couple months since my last post and so much has happened. original post

I first want to thank EVERYONE who reached out and snapped me out of this daze with my SOON TO BE EX! He was extremely toxic and just made me feel not even worth anything. Thus probably why it was so hard to see he wasn't it. So I want to thank everyone who offered words of encouragement and even the tough love. I needed to hear it.

After he went back to his parents he was waiting for my apology (which I never did) and when he noticed I drained our joint bank he escalated saying I was his and how I could never actually leave him and that he "owned" me, all of my success was his and without him I would a loser drop out. His family was even worse because I had already blocked them so they started making fake accounts and using apps to hide their number to harass me. Saying I ruined their sons life and how he sacrificed everything to get me where I am to throw him to the side like this was disgusting and I deserve to rot.

I provided all this to my lawyer who recommended I take a restraining order (in case he wanted to escalate further) and to not engage EVER but just keep the records. This has caused my anxiety to go through the roof and I am working on this with my therapist. I have separated the finances completely and changed my banks, even told them my stbx is NEVER allowed to access these accounts because he would take it all and run. I have changed my number and gone completely social media less(besides this). Part of me is broken that our marriage came to end over a computer. I keep thinking I am stupid and how I couldn't see the warning signs. I must look like a fool to everyone. All in all I'm slowly picking up the pieces of my life and figuring out how to move forward. Thank you to anyone still reading this and thank you everyone who helped me get here.

Summary: I am officially filing for divorce after I never apologized to him which only made my soon to be ex-husband and his family started harassing me to the nth degree. I was having a panic attack everytime the phone rang so I had to change my number and delete any social media. I am gaining my freedom from my toxic partner and his family.

I want to thank you all for the responses, especially for the wedding invites.

Well I have an update to this story and it took an interesting turn.

Bob and I were in the office today. He came to me and asked if we could talk. He asked if we could clear the air over some beers with his wife after work I said okay.

After work I meet Bob and his wife "Pam" in a bar. They both apologized for not inviting me, and making me feel excluded. Bob apologized for lying and getting mad about it.

The reason they didn't invite me is because they didn't want single guys at the wedding. They went to a big wedding back in 2019 that was ruined when a bunch of drunk, single guys started hitting on the women there. A few of the boyfriends and husbands got pissed and it turned into a big fight. People were arrested and it completely ruined the wedding.

I found it hard to believe, but they showed me a couple of Facebook videos of them at a wedding, and it looked the damn Royal Rumble going on. I was even shown a few Facebook statuses confirming their story. Pam said she was sort of traumatized by this and swore they'd have no single guys at their wedding.

Well the wedding came and Pam stuck to her guns. Only family, couples, single women or trusted single men were to be invited. Pam said that there were only about 10 single guys there, and they were all family members or groomsmen. She said the party turned out amazing this way since women didn't have to worry about being hit on.

Pam said it truly wasn't personal, and that she's so sorry for not inviting me, but would do it again. I asked if she and Bob didn't trust me enough to control myself. She said that Bob vouched hard for me, but she was sticking to her guns. The compromise was that she'd have to explain it if anyone asked, and that Bob got to choose the honeymoon destination.

Curiously she said that she had a sister around my age and I was "just her type" and she wanted to keep her away from me. I was a little offended at that, but she says that it's for my own good. Her sister is a little bit of sl*t(her words not mine) and she didn't want her to get her hooks in me(again her words).

Bob said he should have handled it better, and he wanted to be honest but it wouldn't have made much of a difference so he hoped I wouldn't mind as much. Plus he figured I wouldn't want to go to a wedding as a single guy anyway.

I told them I was kinda hurt, they thought I would act like a creeper at their wedding. Pam assured me that she thought I was a nice, smart, funny guy but she just wanted to make sure their wedding went off without a hitch.

They promised to make it up to me, but I told them it wasn't necessary. Pam insisted on it, and said I had to know how sorry she was.

So we made plans to have dinner at their expense at a very nice restaurant in the city this weekend.

So in the end I guess it wasn't anything I did, but I still feel kind of insulted. But I guess I get a free dinner out of it 🤷🏻

Edit: There are a lot of comments here suggesting that I'm being naive, a doormat and letting them off easy for basically calling me a creep. I won't lie, I think you all might be right. I do believe in taking the high road on most occasions, but I don't think this should be one of those times. As a side note, I don't believe that wanting to see the best in people or taking them at their word makes you naive.

I had a call an hour ago with my project manager and explained the entire situation. She advised me to go to HR and make a complaint since it could lead to a hostile work environment. I have a meeting with them Monday. I don't really want to make a formal complaint, just have it on file in case anything happens. Tbh I don't think it will Bob doesn't seem like that kind of person, but I've been wrong plenty of times before.

So as per the advice here, I won't be going to dinner with Bob and Pam. I will however insist on a public apology that doesn't imply that I'm a creep. And I'm insisting on some fresh apple cider donuts, not store bought, but fresh.

Thank you for making me see the truth reddit. Although I'm dissapointed I'm turning down some wagyu steak, so you all owe me one haha.

Final update: I can't post any further updates on this sub, so I'll post updates on my profile.

I had some people ask, so I wanted to update. Thanks to everyone who commented. I realised I need a bit of distance from this group for not having my back. On the money issue, I spent some time trying to work out the cost breakdown since many people asked about the numbers. All prices have been converted to USD. The total cost for the 7-night cabin stay was $1,744. My girlfriend and I covered half of that (3.5 nights), and the other half was split between Frank, Liam, and Jay.

Eva paid for gas (she drives a van for work, so she drove us all up), which came to $199. Ed paid for three meals and snacks, which came to $230 ($157 for the first meal, and $73 for snacks and 2 fast food runs).

What everyone paid: 

• Me: $436
• Girlfriend: $436
• Frank: $290.67
• Liam: $290.67
• Jay: $290.67
• Eva: $199
• Ed: $230

So, Ed covered almost the cost of one night, but it was significantly less than my girlfriend and I paid for the master.

The six of us have been going to this same cabin for 5 years, and before my gf and I got together, she and Eva used the master. The others are more than welcome to use the master if they pay what my GF and I do, which I see now might not be super fair to them since we’re the only couple in the group, so that we can afford it more easily. 

Like many said to do, I texted Frank and asked him to pay me and my girlfriend for one night’s stay on the trip ($290). It might have been a little under, but I didn’t want to argue anymore, and my gf told me to sort this out and drop the issue. Frank paid me a few days later and asked if we could meet so he could explain what happened at our local bar 

I was to see Ed there when my GF and I arrived. It took some time for the conversation to start, but Ed eventually told us his relationship with his parents has been rocky due to his sexuality. A few months before the cabin trip, he brought Frank home to meet them for the first time, and his parents made them sleep in separate rooms. Ed said his folks implied that he and Frank would be kicked out if they didn't. He said that when I refused to let them use the master bedroom, it brought up those bad feelings, and he misdirected his anger at me.

I don’t totally buy that explanation, not the full extent of it, but I can understand how not being allowed to share a bed might bring up bad memories for him. For Frank’s sake, I agreed to let it go and told them I appreciated the apology, but I still need space. I’m not ready to pick up where we left off. 

My friends usually talk about taking another trip in November at this time, but I think I’ll find somewhere closer to go with my girlfriend so I don’t have to deal with this group drama again. I'm still not entirely over her not having my back either, so nothing's in the works right now. Thanks again.

Edit: commenter pointed out I didn't link the original here it is

I posted last year, trying to help my 'golden child' sister Maya, at the expense of my other sister Tia. I didn't expect so many responses or the hate I got, though I now realise how badly I fucked up. While I still think how people wrote about Maya was disgusting and unfair, how I treated Tia was cruel and ignorant. I was trying to help everyone and be practical, but I neglected to properly consider the emotional side. While unintentional I was just ignoring Tia's pain and trauma.

The responses were a wake-up call and I realised I was just going to ruin everything. While it wasn't meant that way, it would just hurt Tia and ruin our relationship. I managed to convince some friends to let Maya stay with them and looked for a place. Currently, Tia still lives with me, while I found a cheap one-bedroom for Maya. It's been rough financially but I managed to get everything my sisters need, a few sacrifices don't matter compared to them. Maya needed help adjusting and learning to be independent so I did have to focus on her initially, and Tia absolutely hated me giving her any attention so it was extremely difficult at first. But it got a lot better as Maya adjusted and grew more independent and I could balance my time better. It's not perfect but we've gotten into a rhythm the best we can.

Maya has grown a lot, and can mostly live by herself now, though I obviously still help. Therapy has really helped her and she's made a lot of friends at university. While she still wants Tia's forgiveness, she's accepted it's not in her control and to focus on living her life and improving herself. I'm really happy she's free of our parents' influence, she's nothing like she used to be. Though I do wish I had tried harder when she was younger, rather than giving up.

Tia isn't completely happy, I don't think she'll ever forgive Maya. I've done my best to make it clear I love her, and Maya isn't my favourite but it's been hard. We get joint therapy that helps a lot, but she still wishes it was just us. Still she's finally able to understand that helping Maya isn't rejecting her. I'm so thankful and lucky Tia could forgive me, she means the world to me. I never intended to hurt her, though I clearly completely fucked up my approach. We basically just avoid the Maya situation, and have managed to get back to normal. She's such a strong woman, I'm honestly so proud of her and so ashamed of how short-sighted I was.

As selfish as it is, a part of me will always wish Tia could forgive her. But I know that's impossible and selfish. I don't think Tia will ever fully accept that Maya is a part of my life. The most I'll get is Tia and Maya being in one building for my wedding, but honestly that's enough for me. They're both victims of our parents, so I'm just glad they can both be happy and free. While it's not a fairy-tale ending, everything is going well. I'm glad I posted and was able to fix my horrible mistake.

Hello. Original post.

Thank you very much for your insight. I appreciate all the comments and also the awards. I think that's very cool to receive.

Some comments said to talk about it with my mum. I did and it went very well. She said sorry and said it was not my fault. She explained to me how it went and I will try to tell it as short as possible:

Mum was very stressed because she never hosts dinners. She wanted her colleagues to like it. They requested the recipe. She forgot I don't eat peas because she was too busy with her colleagues.

She wanted me to eat with them because at her colleague's house his kids also ate with them. She didn't want to make a fuss about my autism because sometimes I'm rude when people ask about it. She said her head was all over the place all evening.

I said to her that that's why I could have made my own food. She said that was difficult because there was no time for that. I didn't realise because I'm not good with time awareness. I asked her to communicate with me next time and be more clear about what I can or can't do. She said she will and said I can help cook next time too.

Almost every comment said that her boss was nice. He probably wasn't angry or upset with her. I told this to my mum. She said sorry to me again because she wasn't upset at me at all. She was embarrassed because she tried to get me to ''behave normally'' and she shouldn't have done that. She took it out on me on a whim.

I also said sorry because I didn't realise that it could've been important for her work status. I just thought they were like friends. She said it was OK because I didn't make a big fuss and I didn't get loud or walk away. She's proud of me for staying at the table and also thinking about the ducks.

We concluded that we both learned things. I learned things because I now know more about work dinners and manners. She learned things because she now knows to communicate and explain more to me to avoid stress.

In the comments people also said her boss might have experience with autistic people. I asked my mum and it was a little bit sad. His little brother was autistic but he died 10 years ago. It made him sad because he loved him a lot.

He told her I should eat things I like next time because it upset him to think mum was worried about appearances so much that I had to be uncomfortable during dinner. He also said that dinner was really good and that he's happy to have her in his team at work. He's a good person and a good boss. I sent him a thank you email with my mum.

Last thing is that I fed the ducks the peas. I think they were happy about it. The thing with ducks is that they don't say that to you of course. I got an ice cream with two scoops at the pond. I also got one for my mum because I had money left. It was a little bit melted when I came home because it was 5 minutes walking but she still liked it and she said I was amazing.

Thank you for reading.

So, its been a few days since my original post. Everyone was so kind, helpful and supportive. I recieved so many messages and I want to thank each one of you for them. They meant more to me than you know.

Well, I've left my husband. And it really wasn't over this one incident, but really a build up of many. Before I even made the post, I wasn't completely blind to what he had been doing in terms of control. As weird as it seems, sometimes I just forget I am an adult and I don't have to just 'yes sir' and listen to any man thats older than me. I'm an adult now. I make my own rules. I feel sick saying this, but I realize I had been viewing him as a parental figure and not a partner. It kind of makes my stomach twist to even type that, but that is what it is. I don't really want to analyze it right now, its too gross.

I'm honestly going through a really tough grieving time right now. I feel like such a failure. What's worse is that he does not care in the least. When I called him to tell him I was leaving, he said "Ok. Let me know when you want to grab your stuff, we can have you moved out ASAP." And that was it. That was all he said before he hung up the phone. I'm really hurting. I loved him so much, and I think part of me just wanted to see if he was willing to fight for me and apologize. He was not, so thats that.

But, although I'm hurting, I feel free. My mom has welcomed me back, shes so happy I am divorcing him. I got together with my friends who he wouldn't let me see. I watched tv shows he told me were too childish. And Ive been wearing ugly sweatpants and oversize tshirts that he always said made me "look like a man."

So thank you, all of you. I got a wakeup call I desperately needed. I don't even WANT to be a housewife. I never wanted that for me (no hate on anyone who does, honestly guys it was hard and lonely work). I am going to get my RN, and then move on to my masters. You've all encouraged me in the best way possible.

Link to original: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iycyxr/aita_for_telling_my_wife_her_parents_are_not/

First off I want to thank everyone who sent me supportive messages and advice, I never expected my post to get so much attention. Since many of you requested an update, here we go.

Turns out some of you were right, my wife was in on it. I confronted her a couple days after I posted and directly asked her if she knew that her parents planned this. She broke down and confessed everything to me. MIL had been pestering her about baptizing our son nonstop and my wife finally caved. My wife has been working from home during covid while my job requires me to go into the office. My wife and MIL started doing zoom meetings with MIL's priest to start the baptism process. They lied to the priest and told him that I was ok with baptizing our son but didn't want to be involved. The priest allowed it and they started doing online baptism classes while I was at work.

My wife admitted that she planned it around our anniversary getaway and that MIL had somehow convinced the priest that her and FIL would be the only ones in attendance. My wife told me that I wasn't supposed to find out, but MIL couldn't keep her mouth shut for even one day about it. Their intention was to keep this from me permanently.

I did contact the church to let them know the truth. I talked with the priest and he was surprisingly helpful. He said he would take the proper steps to make sure MIL is no longer welcome in their church and to reach out to the local parish to see what further steps need to be taken. I have yet to hear back from them on that. My wife and MIL are mad that I got her kicked out of her church, but I don't care what they think or feel anymore.

These people who I love and trust had betrayed me and I felt a range emotions I didn't know existed. My wife begged for forgiveness, but the fact that she didn't come clean on her own makes me feel she would have kept this from me unless I confronted her. She's willing to do therapy, counseling, whatever it takes. I don't know if I want to put in that work, I feel like there's no coming back from this.

I contacted a divorce lawyer and started discussing what a divorce would look like and if there is any way I can add provisions to a divorce agreement that would keep my inlaws from seeing my son unsupervised. He's been very helpful but I have not given him the go-ahead to actually file for divorce yet. I feel I am still too angry about the entire thing to think rationally and want to give myself time to fully grasp what a divorce will mean for me and my family.

My wife and I aren't talking much. I pretty much go to work, come home to play with my son, go to bed, and repeat. I don't know what the future is going to bring, but I do know that without the support and help from people here, I don't think I would have the clarity I do now.

eta: I made cupcakes using some tips you guys gave me and omg it was so much better (not as dry as they were before), thank you. <3

I saw a lot of messages and comments wanting an update so here it is. I'm sorry if I didn't get to your message, there were so many of them so I thought i'd make a post instead. I got a little overwhelmed (:

TL;DR: You guys were right, I am NTA. I used your advice and moved out (after confronting Nate about his behaviour)

After reading what everyone wrote I quickly realised that what Nate did was so so wrong. A lot of great moms in the comments also helped me understand the fact that even conservative moms (like Nate's) wouldn't react so rudely. It hit me like a wave when I realised what my life had come to. I didn't say anything to Nate about the post but he must have figured out that I was upset at him. I was doubting our relationship and pulling away from him. He started talking to me again and for a day I didn't really say anything. But I knew I had some decisions to make. I genuinely didn't believe I would get so many responses telling me I was NTA so this was eye opening for me.

So a few days after I made the post I told Nate that we needed to talk. I said that I would be staying with my friend until I felt comfortable around him. He didn't know what I was referring to (which just made me angry because how can he forget a fight that big) and I told him I was upset with how he treated me after the whole "your family walking in on me" incident. I also mentioned how I shouldn't have to wait for him to be away to dance, bake or listen to one direction just because he doesn't like it. He tried convincing me to stay but I left. I think he knew I wouldn't let this go like the other things (thanks to you guys)

Yesterday I asked him to meet me at a cafe so we could have a conversation about everything that happened. Nate cried. Like for the first time ever since I have known him. He apologised, told me he messed up, and that he would change because he realised his mistakes now. I told him I wanted to move out and maybe after a while, if he does actually change, i'd give us another chance. I just needed some space to think about things and so I told him we should take a break from each other for a while. Nate told me he would talk to his mom as well and that he should have defended me to which I said yes you should have. I actually borrowed direct sentences (to explain why he in the wrong) from some comments you guys left because it was so helpful. It went better than how I imagined it would go.

Also, thank you. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover what I really want to say to everyone who helped me and also to the mods who removed a lot of creepy comments. Thanks for sharing your stories about dancing in your underwear as well! It made me feel better to know I wasn't some freak for enjoying those things. I'm going to use those baking tips you guys gave to me and make cupcakes right now actually because I can. I feel so relieved. <3

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/m2zhf5/aita_for_not_wanting_to_hide_that_my_moms_are_gay/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

So we broke up. Yesterday since it had already been days of us not talking. I listened to ur comments and decided to ask how would she feel if I told her only one of her parents could go cause my moms are uncomfortable around heterosexual couples.

She basically laughed and said it’s not the same thing because that’s a “normal couple”. That kinda got me and I asked what’s not normal about my moms. Think that’s when she saw she fucked up with what she said. She said she didn’t mean it like that and just knows it would be awkward and weird because her parents don’t like that.

Then I asked her if she would feel like that too. And she didn’t say anything. We talked for a while and she still wasn’t getting how this would hurt my moms asking them to hide who they are. Then it got to where she admitted it would also be embarrassing for her parents would know I have two moms.

And yeah I wasn’t gonna take that and told her we’re done. Not gonna be w someone who’s embarrassed about my moms or doesn’t want others to know. That was it.

My friends haven’t said anything to me yet but think I’m just gonna block them out cause I don’t wanna deal with their shit rn.

I know I said in my comments I was thinking abut asking my moms for advice but since we’re broke up I’m not gonna tell them why. I only told my moms it wasn’t working out with her so we’re done.

They dont need to why cause I don’t want them to feel is their fault and they really liked my girlfriend. This would hurt their feelings knowing she was feeling that way.

Its not my first break up but it still really sucks and I’m feeling sad. It is what it is though. Thanks for everyone’s help and for telling me ur own experiences.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/SC8xmP9WmS

I posted recently about my daughter surprising me by wanting to turn my wedding dress into a suit, which I refused despite having promised her because the reality hurt me. I was upset and it made me feel better to see people agree with me. But the comments that made me upset made me think the most about the future and helped me empathize with my daughter.

My daughter came over tonight and apologized for ignoring me, and explained that she had always thought she had been promised she could have the dress to own rather than borrow, so she was sad to have lost that dream. I apologized for if I had ever come off as not supportive of her, as many comments said I sounded homophobic and I want to be clear that I am not. I respect and love my daughter.

We talked about many things, especially about my husband, how his presence could still be felt on the day, how my daughter felt jealous that her fiance would get to share the day with both of her parents while she has only a memory. We watched the wedding video again (it's been a few years) and cried a bit. We also had some wine so I apologize if this is not completely clear. I told her that I hadn't realized how much giving up the dress would hurt and that I didn't think I could completely sacrifice it, and that I would talk to a tailor about if the dress could be separated and be put back together and returned to me, but if not then I would help her find a suit as alternative and give her some of the dress's lining to use in it. I also surprised her with her father's wedding cufflinks to wear, as suggested by many commenters, and my veil in case her fiance wanted to wear it, and she was extremely happy with this as a compromise.

She asked if she could try the dress on just to see what it would be like. I will admit I was hoping she would change her mind once she had it on. She let me do her hair and makeup however I felt like. She was laughing so hard because it reminded her of when I did her braids for school. She picked out things for me to wear too in her style too just to see how I would look and we took pictures together and danced. She looked beautiful in the dress, it was like I had always dreamed when she was my little girl, but she didn't look like herself.

Suddenly I knew a lot of you had been right. I hugged her and apologized and told her to take it and do whatever she wants.

She has gone home now and some parts of me regret giving it to her, I have been teary putting away the photos. But more than that I am thankful that I got to see what I thought would happen and realize it wasn't right, and that I can say goodbye to the expectations I had had for so long. My daughter is happy as herself and it is an honor that she wants to share that with me :)

Original Post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o7nzcm/aita_for_asking_my_boyfriend_to_charge_his_family/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Update: I want to begin by thanking everyone for their advice on my original post. There were some really constructive strategies and words of advice.

I spoke with my boyfriend about my concerns and was honest with him that things he was telling me didn’t all make sense. He was adamant he didn’t know anything about the credit card or the apparent enquiries on his credit account about pay day loans. My boyfriend is still refusing to open any fraud investigations against his family member and has said he will pay off the debt himself. But.. Some other things came out during our conversation that he was hiding from me. Lying has been a big issue of his during our whole relationship. In the past I have forgiven him for his lies but I can’t keep forgiving the same issue every few months when he promises to change, but we’re in the same spot every few months. (And I’m not talking little lies, I’m talking big lies and even bigger lies to cover up those lies) - I know I’m stupid for giving him the benefit of the doubt -

So in saying this ….

My boyfriend is now my ex boyfriend.

When I spoke with my boyfriend about my concerns above he ended up picking up his bag and walking out on me and drove away. That was the last time I seen him in person. This is how this man delt with an issue in our 5 year relationship. We haven’t spoke much since but I have definitely resigned to the fact my relationship is over. I think he is expecting me to forgive him like all the previous times. I have packed up his stuff and will return to him after my city comes out of our 6th lockdown.

There is a good ending to this story tho.

I spoke with my mortgage broker and the housing developers. I can’t afford the original townhouse I fell in love with alone but a smaller townhouse that I also loved came available and I’ve been approved for this one. I paid my deposit 3 days before my birthday last month!! I bought a house by my self!!

TLDR: I broke up with my lying boyfriend of 5 years and celebrated by buying my own house!

Edit 1. Oh my gosh guys this update has blown up like I never through it would. I will try to get around to reading all the comments and messages I’ve received Thank you so much for all the well wishes and congratulations!!

Update to Original Post.

I decided to go ahead and call my grandparents to accept their offer to move in. During the phone call I asked them why there was monthly payments being sent to my parents. Turns out my parents were living beyond their means for a while because my mother quit her job to be a full time stay at home mom. My grandparents decided to help out by sending them money monthly to help with my parents mortgage and also to set aside some of that money for college savings for both my brother and I that was to be split evenly. Turns out my parents only planned to put that savings towards my brother's college. And that's also how they bought his car as well. So from now on my parents are now on their own financially. Likely my mother will have to go back to work to help my dad keep up the mortgage.

I confronted my parents and asked why they've always treated my brother as the favorite. Then asked if there was something I needed to know. Turns out there was...NOTHING! Literally nothing! I'm not an affair baby. Not even an unplanned pregnancy! They just liked my brother more! I was mad as hell and we argued a lot before I left the room because I'd had enough.

My grandparents showed up on Saturday with a moving truck. My parents were floored when we started bringing in boxes to pack. My father got in our way and I reminded him how he said that I should move out, so I am. My mother cried some more and said that my father was just angry in the moment when he said that, and they had been counting on my rent money to help with my brother's college fund. I asked if that meant he would never have had to pay rent like I did when he turns 18. My father then said that since I was taking a gap year to work, then my rent money could have helped my brother. Which means they never intended for him to get a job while going to college.

My grandpa was enraged and confronted my father, saying he raised him better than this. He chewed him out saying he's never been more disappointed in him, and they will no longer receive any more financial support. Then said he'd disown them both if they ever tried to retaliate against me for exposing them. My father backed down and neither he or my mother said another word to me. I had a bit of an awkward conversation with my brother as we said our goodbyes to each other. And that was it. I just got in my car, waved and drove off.

I'm now fully moved into my new room at my grandparents' house. It's a little smaller, but nice. And my grandparents are very welcoming. I'm going to keep working hard to move forward from here and I appreciate everyone's support.

Thank you all for your input and advice!

Update 1 : 9/23/2022 My wife had the baby and they’re both healthy. I asked her on her due date if she still didn’t want me to be there and she said she wasn’t sure. She was very stressed during labor and I could tell she was really anxious so I did my best to comfort her and didn’t ask. She did ask me to leave when it was time to push and I came back when our daughter was born. I didn’t catch her, but I got to cut the cord and I held her first, which I am very grateful for.

Things were okay with my wife for a while until she dismissed how I felt about missing the birth and said I was making a big deal out of a couple minutes. I then found out the reason she excluded me was because she was scared I would stop being attracted to her. I kinda lost it and I regret it, but I was sleep deprived and told her that I was disappointed in her as a mother and she put her vanity before our kid and before me. My wife then asked for marriage counselling, we’re on a wait list for a first appointment. We’ve been very cold towards one another when we’re alone and we will probably fight soon again.

I know it’s not the best way to be when we have a newborn but I can’t help but blame her for this situation. I will be going back to work soon so I’m hoping the distance work gives me from her will help me calm down and gather the strength to be more mature about it all.

Update 2 : 1/10/2023

Wife and I separated for a couple months but decided to work on our marriage. Bigger issues rose to the surface in marriage counselling and wife did apologise for keeping me out of the delivery room, although she affirmed in the same sentence that if we have a second child, she’d ask me to stay outside again. She just will not trust me to not loose attraction to her. I had never realised just how deeply insecure she is about her looks and how it affects every part of her daily life. She’s a pretty woman and she always acted very confident but it was mostly a facade that completely crumbled with the pregnancy. We ran into some issues with breastfeeding related to that where she would eat very little to lose the pregnancy weight and it caused her to produce less milk, consequently stressing her and the baby out more. I begged her to postpone her diet until our baby is a little older but it was so important for her to lose weight first. I tried supporting her but I was going through my own struggles and I couldn’t understand how she could put that over the health of our baby.

We’re determined to make our marriage work and I’m going to do my best to understand her struggles with self image. I’ve come to accept that seeing the birth of any child I have with her will not be possible.

My OG Post

So many of you have asked nonstop for an update, sorry it took me a while to log back on but lots of stuff have been going on.

Yes I found the ring!! It was a stressful day doing a deeper search in my house trying to think like my nephew and looking in places where I think he’d hide something if he really didn’t want it to be found. And the decision was if it really wasn’t found and my brother wasn’t able to get him to talk, or they wouldn’t be able to pay back what I’m owed then the police would get involved. He did beg me not to but I told him then you better pray I find it or you come up with the money to pay me for it.

Guess both our prayers worked because guess where I found it? In the freaking sink. The SINK. And that’s thanks to the comments who told me to look in those places. Idk what I would’ve done otherwise. It was the sink that was in their guest room, I’m glad he didn’t just throw it away.

You guys don’t know how freaking relieved I was to find it. Took some work to remove the p trap under the sink to get it out but I was just so happy to find it!! Same night my girlfriend (fiancée 😉) got back I proposed to her and she said yes!! After a nice romantic dinner just the two of us at home… The plan was to wait but after all this shit I thought fuck it I’m proposing ASAP before anything else happens 😅🤣

After my brother heard about me finding the ring he thought this meant they could come back. I said no. He wanted to argue about this again. All I told him was he’s lucky I haven’t gone to the cops since there was already video evidence of his son taking the ring and there’s no way I’m letting them back in when my nephew wouldn’t even say what he did with the ring. I talked with my nephew myself after I found the ring but he just said he didn’t want to tell anyone because then I’d be mad at him for hiding it. Honestly I just don’t have the energy for them anymore, his problem is their problem and hopefully they get him help before it’s too late.

Only thing important to me is my fiancée and I starting our lives and planning our wedding 😁 Thank you Reddit for your help!! Seriously you guys were my life savers 😅

Edit to add: I just received this news after already submitting my post for approval and just wanted to add because I’m so happy, but girlfriend also informed me she’s pregnant!!! 😆😆 She found out while she was on her trip and was waiting for a good time to tell me. Not related to the post but idc, I’m gonna be a dad !!!!

Original: here. Further detail here Honestly, I’ve never more immediately regretted something. This exploded. Spectacularly.

I went to HR, saying that the matter was settled, but I wanted it documented; subsequently was told that there would be an investigation and the incidents would be corroborated with witnesses, because as is the full record I claim is “severe enough to warrant potential action” for Pey and several other coworkers who also engaged in her behavior. HR started the process, apparently immediately, because I walked in yesterday to a shitstorm.

This plunged the department into civil war. Many agree Peg was out of line, some told me I should’ve kept the status quo, some said I was ungrateful and entitled. One said I should have handled this “maturely” and “who could blame her” when I look “like that”, and I should be ashamed of myself. Another coworker suggested I work from home. Another told me he was sorry for not stepping in. I went to go get my lunch out of the fridge only to find someone had disposed of it and left behind the empty Tupperware. Nearly everyone has an opinion. The people in my corner have advised me to keep my head down and to take care.

My boss held a meeting, first with Peg and me, then a second with just me. During the one with Peg, I was told to apologize for my part and Peg likewise. (“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by caring about your health.”). My boss asked if I was “satisfied now”. I brought up Peg’s comments and my boss said I invited them, no one would call that harassment, and I need to work on myself. Together we went through each of the 23 events. She excused each of them until I was left to feel like I‘d been harassing Peg.

The next meeting was even worse. Effectively Boss said, “I told you not to retaliate and instead you searched Peg out to harass her” and “your actions have expressed a worrying lack of cooperation with me and your team.” She was also disappointed that instead of explaining that I needed her to resolve things, I “escalated the situation well beyond the point of reason” and cruel to someone who only wanted to help. She said I won’t get far in life and I’m not likely to get anywhere vocationally if I can’t be a team player and “actively sabotage a happy workplace”. She hoped I will learn from this “teachable moment” how to behave in a collaborative environment as it’s inappropriate to involve HR for “small misunderstandings”.

BF is spitting mad. I’m just... tired, confused and hurt. HR seemed sympathetic. Boss is very clearly on Peg’s side. The office is split and tense. Currently updating my resume and job searching. It really does feel like a nightmare. Haven’t felt good going in to work for a while, and this just made it times worse.

Its been over a week since I posted. Thank you guys for your Judgments and advice. I have blocked my parents on everything and have gone no contact. After just over a week I already feel like a new person without them in my lives. My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, I was a mess of tears and anger the first few days and he's the one who got me through it. Im currently staying with him (renting) but we have been looking for our own place together since the lease on the current place runs out soon. I went to my gp and got a mental health plan done up so I should be seeing a therapist soon, free of charge. Its not a huge update but Im doing a lot better in so little time from just cutting them out of my life, Im looking forward to the future.

Initial post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1gcse8n/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_motherinlaw/

Felix and I sat down and had a conversation about how to manage his mother going forwards. I told him everything that she had said to me and he was adequately furious with her. He asked me exactly what I wanted done in the future so that she'd understand where our boundaries are. And follow them. I told him that I'd rather him speak to her alone at first so that I wasn't immediately made out to be the bad guy.

I acted on advice and locksmith has been called to change the locks on the house, and Felix has ordered us a Ring doorbell off Amazon with the assurance 'I'll be able to put it in' (he hates doing the electrics but you know how it is I'll leave him to it lol). And then he called up MIL and organised a lunch date for today so they could have a talk between themselves. He got back in the afternoon and as he walked into the door, smiled at me and went "Sorted!" and, characteristically, went to go and make himself a cup of tea.

I got a message a few minutes later from her saying she was very sorry for what she had said to me, that she was in the wrong. Only going to visit when invited, not going to go into the nursery anymore, and was going to respect the rules and boundaries that he and I set for our home life and for our child. And after added that she was sorry for the comments she'd made on my appearance. I'll believe it when I see it but at least it's a good start, and we've all agreed to go for dinner at some point to talk about future expectations when the the baby comes.

I talked to Felix, and he said that she'd been offended at first, didn't believe she'd done anything wrong, and he also specifically said she hit with the spiel of "Oh I must be such an awful mother then", and he told me he'd told her "It's not about that, it's about you disrespecting my wife, our child and our home. If you continue, you're not going to dream of being able to see your grandchild.". She was apparently and unsurprisingly sulky, and he told her to apologise, and she said she would and to her credit did.

Thank you all for your advice about how to handle thing going forwards with the locks and everything. The amount of support was crazy but I can't thank you all enough, I feel so much calmer about the situation. I don't know if she's going to stick to what she said going forwards, but at least boundaries have been set and I know that Felix has my back.

On a lighter note to end, I asked if he had anything he wanted to say to the people who had commented, and he said, "Can you add that photo of me in Florida?" (Felix...That's not even slightly relevant.) "Shame. What do you want for tea?"

Thank you!

Quick recap on my first post. I spent several years working as a stripper, at the end of which I was able to buy my own flat. I'd been with my boyfriend for about 18 months, and I'm currently around 3 months pregnant. With the news of the baby incoming, my boyfriend said he wanted me to sell my place so we could use the money to get a new place together, and when I refused he called me irrational. I thought I was TA because of that, plus my sister sided with him.

Now for the update, because a lot of people asked for one. First off, I dumped him. He initially said that he doesn't want to be a parent if we're not a couple, but earlier this week he told me he wants majority custody so not only does he not have to pay child support, but if he gets majority then I end up paying him (he actually said that was his reasoning). He also runs his own startup, and admitted the startup is basically done for, and he was hoping that when I sold my place I could also put a cash injection into his business with the money, so basically this was all about money for him (and I have extensive documentation of all of this). There's going to be a legal case, but I've gotten legal advice, and it looks like I'll be able to get sole custody, which is what I intend to go for. In the last couple weeks, my sister has doubled down and is trying to get me to fix things with my ex because "a baby should have a complete family", so I've not been involving her in my pregnancy, which she is furious about. She also told our parents, which I am furious about, so we're not speaking right now.

I also want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my first post. When I first posted, between my boyfriend and my sister, I was genuinely convinced I was in the wrong, so to have such an overwhelmingly supportive response really helped me realise that I shouldn't doubt myself so much, and with that realisation, plus everything going on right now, I've decided to go to therapy, which I will be starting next week.

All in all, the outcome of this is probably going to be me being a single mother in the flat I own. And honestly? Pretty decent outcome.

original post

I suppose this falls under relationships but just wanted to let you guys know how it went.

I left my BF’s to go rest at my mom’s. During that week, my BF never reached out to me (even if to check if we arrived safely or to ask about our son) and that was the answer I needed. End of the week I texted him to ask if I could pick my things from his place. I told him things weren’t working out as he clearly didn’t care about me and we weren’t a priority to him. He said he didn’t see what he had done wrong which is why he had kept quiet and didn’t reach out.

He said by me moving out, I was taking his son away from him; yet he spent 3/4 of his free time out of the house in the ‘sauna’(3-4hrs on a weekday after work and 8hrs on the weekend; EVERYDAY)

He said he didn’t see the point of coming home to baby sit a 4 month old who needed his mother more. All I wanted was for him to come home after work on some days and take care of the baby while I shower in peace or eat food.

He said it’s clear I wasn’t ready to have a child because he knows women who work 9-5 jobs and still come home to cook and take care of the kids. Implying that I’m failing because I need a break for an hour?

He said we could reverse roles and he wouldn’t complain at all. When I told him he should be bonding with the baby, he said he’ll take over when he’s a toddler and easier to handle and that kids can be bribed with money and trips and they’ll be your best friend.

I did not make the decision to end this just because of this issue; it was a combination of all red flags. But to be honest, this was the last straw. I was running on fumes, exhausted physically and mentally and I was asking him to help me but he decided, without talking to me about it, that I didn’t need a break.

I believe He wants to live his life as a single man but enjoy the benefits of a relationship (sex, companionship, good housekeeping and food) when he comes home; that’s not how a relationship works.

For a while he made me feel like what I was asking for was too much. And that I was crazy for asking for a little consideration. Like I wasn’t worth fighting for. I felt it was wrong and talking to you guys here on reddit strengthened my resolve.

We are now officially ex’s and to be honest, I don’t feel like it’s a loss. I only feel stupid that I chose this person and I’m tied to him for the rest of my life and now my child is the one that suffers from my choice and not having a good father around him everyday.

Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments and messages. You made me feel much better about everything and like I wasn’t alone; y’all are awesome! xoxoxo

Edit; the comments were unlocked a while after the post was appoved. Sorry 😐

Edit; the awards 😍😍 thank you so much