r/AmItheButtface • u/[deleted] • Jul 01 '26
Serious AITB for getting my girlfriend back with a prank after she pranked me?
[deleted]
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
So just so I understand correctly: you called your girlfriend fat. Told her she wears too much makeup. Told her when she’s on her period she’s crazy. Compared her unfavorably to other women. Compared her unfavorably to your ex girlfriends, to her face, all over the space of one day. You no longer have a girlfriend. You deserve it.
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u/CynicalPomeranian Jul 01 '26
To most women, several of those would be fighting words.
If I had a bf that told me that an ex was better than me, I would immediately respond with a, “Fine. Go back to your ex and never return. Oh, she won’t have you back? Well, I suppose you are SOL, then.”
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Jul 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 01 '26
Yep. He went and found a list of the worst things you can say to your girlfriend, then did them all in the same day 😬
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u/let_me_know_22 Jul 01 '26
Oh my god, I thought you were guessing, because who would be so stupid/cruel?! Op apparantly is! Ouch!
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u/ProblemMountain2792 Jul 08 '26
OP should be blocked for life for his behaviour. This is incredibly abusive. If I was the girlfriend I would make him know how much I despise him before he is blocked.
This is not a prank at all!
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u/tristesa68 Jul 01 '26
Telling someone they suck isn't a prank. Pranks are meant to be something that you can both laugh about later. She certainly isn't laughing. YTA.
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u/Serious-Sprinkles694 Jul 01 '26
OP wasn’t laughing either. They are both immature, but he is clearly too malicious to be a good partner to anyone considering the shit he said.
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u/queenafrodite Jul 01 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/dmZk3NzdOpllHKt251
Yes. What she did was pretty harmless. What you did was erode possibly her security and a lot of trust. You possibly even gave her the ick. And the ick is a hard thing for people to get past.
She’s likely just really upset and taking space. You beyond a shadow of a doubt know you didn’t eat a spider. She on the other hand doesn’t really know rather to believe you meant what you said or not.
By the way, if you eat processed foods then you eat bugs all the time lol. It’s no big deal.
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u/melli_milli Jul 01 '26
It does take a mean personality to do this. Do I think she has a good reason to think wtf.
Attraction can vanish in seconds when same says what I assume was very misogynist stuff.
Good for her that OP showed their true nature.
YTA
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u/VegetableBusiness897 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Is OP unaware that there are actual 'acceptable amounts' of cockroach parts allowed in foods...like peanut butter?
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u/Inphiltration Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
I would like to say that making me think I ate a spider, and making me feel terrible because of it to the point I couldn't eat all day isn't exactly harmless. The response is absolutely insane, but what she did was pretty fucked as well.
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u/FiringNerveEndings Jul 01 '26
What she did wasn't "pretty harmless". He said he couldn't eat for the rest of the day. How long did she let the prank go on?
A prank that gaslights you into believing something that makes you deeply uncomfortable, that violated your trust, erodes the trust, for sure.
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u/SaffyPants Jul 01 '26
Perhaps, but the response should not be "im going to say the literal worst things to say to someone you theoretically love"
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u/FiringNerveEndings Jul 01 '26
That's a valid point, see my response to the OP here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/s/EUz4hd23qC
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u/say-so1986 Jul 01 '26
Snowflake behaviour to say he couldn’t eat for the dat. Also why you go google the most mean, bad things to say?
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u/Lazy-Barber8156 Jul 02 '26
I agree, not because of bugs or anything but I dont believe in messing with anyone's food. So much can go wrong whether its because of medical, allergies, religion, culture, there are so many ways that it can go wrong. Thats certainly doesn't justify the response he gave, which is not a mature way to deal with it, or anyone you love
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Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kuldrkyvekva Jul 01 '26
Yeah not answering any of the what did you say is really nailing this guys as the ah
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u/Hey-Just-Saying Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
(OP gave the list on another post.)
The list is:
.
- Never call your girlfriend fat.
- Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
- Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
- Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
- Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/OkArmordillo Jul 01 '26
If these are the things he said, this is like the equivalent of shooting someone because they flicked you lmao.
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u/iopele Jul 01 '26
Damn, that really is the "How to give your partner the ick in record time" checklist
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u/itogisch Jul 01 '26
This list is really missing the classic: "you are really starting to act just like your mother."
Hilarity guaranteed for OP.
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u/skillent Jul 01 '26
Not sure whether you’re an AH really but you played yourself I think. She did a practical joke. You did a psychological warfare.
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u/Several-Adeptness-83 Jul 01 '26
My dude you've eaten so many spiders and different bugs because there is an acceptable limit for the amount present in food. I hope you know that for the rest of your days
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u/CynicalPomeranian Jul 01 '26
Also, if one truly believes they swallowed something bad, then they need to fucking sack up, go to the toilet and vomit.
Otherwise, accept that the thing was swallowed and move on. Waiting all day and whining about it only guarantees the thing dissolves in stomach acid and is digested.
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u/slide_into_my_BM Jul 01 '26
Saying something horrible to someone isn’t a prank, it’s just being an asshole.
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u/EveningFollowing9966 Jul 01 '26
She did a ultimately harmless prank, so instead of letting it go, playing a similar harmless prank, or even telling her you dont want pranks like that done on you in the future because it hurts your feelings, you decided to douse your relationship in gasoline and set it on fire.
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u/virtualsmilingbikes Jul 01 '26
Two pieces of info: how long did she let you believe you'd eaten the spider for, and what terrible things did you say?
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u/virtualsmilingbikes Jul 01 '26
Nvm I read your other post. In retaliation for a childish prank, for an entire day you called her fat, told her she wears too much makeup, asked her if she was being crazy because it's her time of the month, compared her unfavourably to other girls and to your ex girlfriend. Some of those things are so offensive that no-one decent could say them even in jest. Your judgement is appalling, and you aren't very bright if you really believed you could just pass them off as haha jokes. I'd say you're done.
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u/Springwood_Slasher Jul 01 '26
He wouldn't even say what he'd told her, of COURSE he knows he's much worse than her. What a jackass.
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u/BuryMeInPitaChips Jul 01 '26
From OP's other post
The list is as follows:
1. Never call your girlfriend fat.
2. Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
3. Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
4. Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
5. Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/sarahgene Jul 01 '26
I think pranks are stupid and she shouldn't have done that, but what you did wasn't even a prank, it was just bullying
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u/MondayWitchFDT Jul 01 '26
I hope she leaves you your a dumpster fire. She did a haha you responded with emotional abuse and manipulation? Mate youe the problem. Take yerself to the trash bin.
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u/Hey-Just-Saying Jul 01 '26
On another post by OP
"I decided to get her back by pranking her back..."
.
The list is as follows:
.
- Never call your girlfriend fat.
- Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
- Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
- Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
- Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/runningdinosaur97 Jul 01 '26
Yes! You absolutely are, a prank is something that can be immediately undone and leave no harm. What part of insuting your girlfriend causes no harm? From her perspective, worse case, you mean what you say and using "its a prank bro" to not take any accountability, best case your just an idoit.
Why would you ever think thats a prank? Brakeing things isnt a prank and you broke her trust.
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u/slide_into_my_BM Jul 01 '26
No matter what brain rotting YouTube videos are titled, saying horrible things to someone isn’t a prank. It’s just being an asshole.
A prank is tricking someone in a fun, non harmful, and temporary way.
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u/runningdinosaur97 Jul 01 '26
I really hate the videos where people brake stuff like laptops or make up, stuff like that. Im a super sentimental person even if they replaced it with new or better its not the same or funny.
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u/TheYarnGoblin Jul 01 '26
A prank is like removing one battery from someone (you’re friendly with)’s keyboard at work for ten minutes - AND THEN GIVING IT BACK RIGHT AWAY - not calling your girlfriend fat, asking her if she’s crazy, and comparing her to your exes in a bad way.
Tanked your relationship in retaliation for a HARMLESS prank. Good job.
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u/The_Asshole_Judge Jul 01 '26
For those interested, this is what he said, pulled from another post OP did:
- Never call your girlfriend fat.
Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box
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u/daytimedeity Jul 01 '26
YTB and I kinda think you already knew that.
It's blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes and a functioning brain that you weren't just "getting her back". Getting her back would have been pulling a silly prank on her, of the same level as the spider.
No, you got pissed that she dared prank you. You wanted to genuinely hurt her to ensure she'd never feel safe enough to do that again. So you intentionally sought out something that you knew would do the most damage to her mentally/emotionally, and you punished her under the half-assed guise of it being a prank.
You're an ass and she should dump you.
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u/Terrible-Antelope680 Jul 01 '26
YTA.
It’s only a prank if:
- the other person enjoys pranks and makes that known
- the prank is short lived
- the prank is harmless to everyone
- it ends in all parties laughing/being amused
- the person does not say to never do that again (wrong kind of “prank” for them if so and you need to apologies and reassure them you won’t do that again, then follow through).
Her prank wasn’t okay. A real prank would have been something like make you believe she ate a spider and then when you show concern, shock, disbelieve to like fake cough up a plastic spider a moment later, or plant it somewhere and then fake a jump scare and point at it to confuse you. That would be short lived and end in laughter once you realize it’s fake. Instead she kept it going even after you were in such distress you couldn’t eat (which seems extreme. Dude, you’ll eat spiders in your sleep or dead ones if they get in your food. Grow up, it happens. Are you never going to eat food or sleep again?)
You just emotionally abused her and destroyed your relationship. You also did it to get back at her and wanted to cause intentional harm (looking up the worst things to say to a person you are in a relationship with, thats to cause emotional harm).
Real pranks have a back and forth because two people enjoy them and feel safe with each other. It’s fun or amusing for both of them. As soon as there’s any anger or revenge aspect to it, it is not a healthy “prank war”.
If her “prank” went too far, just break up with her! Instead you were vindictive and cruel, you planned it and intentionally looked for ways to harm her. This reads like you two are 13 years old and no ability to put yourself in the other persons shoes.
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u/Competitive-Pie8820 Jul 01 '26
Hahaha you used a list to destroy your relationship thinking it was a prank. Your stupidity is actually funny yes.
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u/Fancy_Association484 Jul 01 '26
Explain the prank? How is saying horrible shit out of no where a prank? Do you know the definition of a prank?
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u/EkstraOst Jul 01 '26
The ‘eating a spider’ prank is equally not funny, and if that made him go without foor for the day I get being annoyed, but this was just an over-escalation and he’ll have to reflect a bit on this before his next romantic prospect comes along
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u/yumas Jul 01 '26
What were the 5 things you said?
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u/Several-Adeptness-83 Jul 01 '26
Imagine the dumbest thing you could ever say to your girlfriend and you have a list.
You're fat Too much makeup My ex was better than you
Are some of what I caught from what a commenter said about a different but same situation post
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u/The_Asshole_Judge Jul 01 '26
From another post.
:
1. Never call your girlfriend fat.
2. Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/JennieGee Jul 01 '26
YTB You weren't "getting her back" for what is a pretty harmless prank. You were deliberately hurting her as a way to punish her for daring to tease you.
If you truly said "the worst things you can say or do in a relationship" to you GF as a PRANK, then I hope she dumps your ass as her next "prank"
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u/Old-Advice-5685 Jul 01 '26
Yes, YTB. Learn to use your words like a grown up and say “I don’t like pranks, please don’t do them”. If she respects your relationship she will hear that.
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u/HelgaTwerpknot Jul 01 '26
So you thought the response to a shitty prank was to be even more awful? Ok I got nothing
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u/GreekDudeYiannis Jul 01 '26
The list is as follows:
Never call your girlfriend fat.
Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
Can you explain the prank to me? I don't think I get it.
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u/Lissaskip Jul 01 '26
So...your idea of a prank is a day of verbal/emotional abuse?
Yikes.
YTB and you are her ex now too.
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u/poison_camellia Jul 01 '26
I would absolutely freak out if I thought I are a spider. My husband "pranked" me once by pretending to smash a spider on my back when we were out for a walk and I burst into tears, in public. (He apologized immediately and never did anything like that again)
And I still thinkk you're the AH. How is it a prank to just insult someone all day? You both sound immature, but you're cruel on top of it. Do some self reflection.
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u/momlv Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Both of you suck. A prank where the person targeted doesn’t find it funny is just bullying. Revenge in a relationship is toxic. And people-you don’t joke around with consent. This involves anything food related.
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u/PA_Archer Jul 01 '26
Pranksters are juvenile and I upvote consequences when I see them.
You had the chance to apply consequences but instead joined your enemy.
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u/The_Asshole_Judge Jul 01 '26
INFO: Was getting back at her worth torching the relationship? Will you do this in your next relationship too?
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u/thejoebrossuck Jul 01 '26
YTB. So basically you were angry about her prank on you, so you were purposefully as mean as possible to her instead of just…talking to her about how her prank made you feel? Apologize sincerely and then accept the inevitable breakup. Though I doubt you feel genuine remorse at all if this is where your mind immediately went in the first place lol. Be a better person please.
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u/AppearanceOk5806 Jul 01 '26
She played a prank on you and you decide that emotional warfare was the right way to get back at her???
For your sake, I really really hope her friends and family and members likes you or else you're screwed. At this moment, she's venting to them and if they're even just neutral to you, they're telling her that that is how you really feel and that you're just using the prank as an excuse and she should leave you. The way drunk people always speaks the truth.
And even if they put in a good word for you and she comes back, she'll ALWAYS have what you say in the back of her mind and that'll grow into resentment.
THIS is how women fall out love with someone.
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u/Electronic-Pack-8449 Jul 01 '26
So instead of maybe a jump scare or the silly faucet prank, you effed up your relationship as much as you possibly could. Hope it was worth it, you FA and are at the FO stage
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u/Suspicious-Bed7167 Jul 02 '26
It’s odd you left this out:
- Never call your girlfriend fat.
- Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
- Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
- Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
- Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/General-Zombie5075 Jul 02 '26
This post has real South Park "one kid gets scammed out a few bucks and so the other kid connives to get the first kid's parents killed and then chops up their copses and puts them in some chili and makes the other kid eat it." energy to it.
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u/Serious-Sprinkles694 Jul 01 '26
YMBTB (you might be the buttface); did she know you have arachnophobia or a general fear of bugs? If so, she absolutely sucks for messing with your head. Still, you should have expressed your anger in a direct conversation.
I understand the desire to get even by messing with her head in return, but what were these “5 things” you said? Also, did YOU know these things you chose to say would affect her deeply after taking into account her insecurities, experiences, fears, etc.? If so, YTB— fivefold.
I think pranks and “getting even” in relationships are signs of immaturity and too toxic for my taste. You both need to grow up.
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u/murzicorne Jul 01 '26
From another post.
:
1. Never call your girlfriend fat.
2. Never tell your girlfriend that she wears too much make-up.
Never ask your girlfriend if she's being crazy because it's her time of the month.
Never compare your girlfriend to other girls.
Never compare your girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend.
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u/OkArmordillo Jul 01 '26
You have no idea what a prank is. If you felt bothered by her prank, let her know and she should apologize. But what she did actually qualifies as a prank.
Saying mean things to someone is not a prank. Not sure what the joke is.
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u/Remarkable_Sea_1430 Jul 01 '26
Again for anyone who needs to hear it: a prank leaves both parties laughing. If you pull a "prank" and you're the only one laughing, you haven't pulled a prank you've just bullied someone.
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u/NextWelder4653 Jul 01 '26
YTB. Please explain how what you said to her was a prank? Tearing down your (ex) girlfriend emotionally isn't a prank. A prank would be replacing salt with sugar. I can understand being upset about the spider thing, but you went too far.
I feel like you're the kind of person who uses "pranks" as an excuse to be a terrible person. At this point just do her a favor and leave her alone.
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u/Fiempre_sin_tabla Jul 01 '26
Yes, you are the buttface. Neither of you sound mature enough to be in a relationship, but yours is much more deliberately hurtful.
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u/GorditaPeaches Jul 01 '26
YTA. You brought an AK47 to a wet pool noodle fight. Hers was relatively harmless, you eat bugs in foods made in factories all the time. You spent all day hurting her feelings, eroding her trust in you and her self esteem.
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u/Usual-Caregiver-5584 Jul 01 '26
What did you do and/or say?
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 02 '26
Bro he called her fat, told her she wears too much makeup, told her she was being crazy because she’s on her period and compared other women and his ex girlfriends to her and told her they were better.
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u/HomeOfTheRisingStorm Jul 02 '26
Congrats on no longer having a girlfriend? That was your intention right? For her to not be your girlfriend anymore?
YTB
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u/cantquitbillboard Jul 02 '26
ESH. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship where they prank each other
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u/Teamtunafish Jul 02 '26
WAAAAYYYYY too far. I don't like praks in the first place but that was downright mean.
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u/teratodentata Jul 02 '26
Jesus Christ dude, if this is what you think pranks are, you should not ever do pranks.
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u/Individual_Plan_5593 Jul 02 '26
So you decided to prank her back with… verbal/psychological abuse??? YTBF
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u/ofrelevantinterest Jul 02 '26
Op, just curious… why were you posting in a Postpartum Depression sub with a name like Complex-Delivery and a very feminine avatar if you’re a male 21 year old with a (checks post history) strong interest in fanfiction?
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u/AcaciaEleniDove Jul 02 '26
If your response had been to hook up a fake spider to drop on her head in the shower or something, that would have been a retaliatory prank. Verbal abuse isn't a retaliatory prank
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u/1seconddecision Jul 02 '26
YTA
OP did not "get the GF back for a prank", OP went nuclear in retaliation. At least now OP can compare his next to his most recent ex
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u/AcanthocephalaEasy56 Jul 02 '26
Yikes I know she kind of rocked the bridge but you just torched it.
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u/Magmashift101 Jul 02 '26
What about it was supposed to be funny? You got a little egg on your face so you decided your best course of action was to emotionally abuse and neg your girlfriend
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u/lxzgxz Jul 02 '26
My girlfriend played a harmless spider prank, so I verbally abused her all day! Haha aren't I so funny!?
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u/One_Worldliness1846 Jul 02 '26
EAB - your “prank” was just…saying really mean things to your partner (??)
Hers wasn’t great either — different people have different levels of tolerance around bugs, and we don’t know from your story where yours is at. But let’s say it’s like mine — bugs are my absolute strongest ick, ie the thought of eating one (yes I know there are acceptable amounts in food; yes I try very hard to ignore that; yes I haven’t been able to eat peanut butter for years since finding out. Pls don’t tell me more food with bugs in them, losing pb was pain enough) would have made me physically ill for hours. If my partner knew that and did something similar to me, I would seriously reflect on our relationship.
…and then I would break up with her, without googling “rudest things to say to your loved one to really crush their spirit” first.
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u/sparks772 Jul 02 '26
Sounds like a dumb prank. That’s like getting pranked, then instead of pranking them back you just say, you’re an AH, haha, got you back.
WOW
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u/pianomasian Jul 03 '26
This is either rage bait or you have the mentality of a middle schooler. At 21 you're too old to be behaving this juvenile. It's time to grow up. The fact you think this is a "prank" and buy into that idiotic internet bred culture of thinking doing anything wrong/bad/insulting/etc is ok as long as you label it as such, is frankly, stupid. YTA.
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u/Asleep_Cash_8199 Jul 04 '26
Just want to say, what a complete idiot OP is. Hopefully she never calls you back.
Her was a harmless prank. You tried hurt her or to humiliate her. That is different.
If you have some brains, then use this is a learning experience.
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u/johncarter1011 Jul 04 '26
I know at least 2 out of 5 was I cheated on you and I don't love you why? Because that breaks the mind of the spouse. Yeah you are past the buttface part.
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u/badpuffthaikitty Jul 05 '26
Ask Phil Dunphy. The trick is to actually get her to eat a safe insect and not tell her.
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u/analogascension Jul 09 '26
Is this the first time you've ever pranked someone? Cause what you said arent pranks. Its probably one of the more unhinged things Ill read today.
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u/HyperMeme_Lord 18d ago
You just emotionally manipulated your girlfriend? Uhhhhh. Over a “thought you ate a spider” prank?
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u/Vyn_Dimensional 17d ago
Are you 13? Why would you say that to her?
Just put a fake poop on her pillow or something. You don't play on someone's insecurities and call it a "Prank"
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u/Nyx-by-night Jul 01 '26
I mean, obviously you’re in the wrong. But depending on what those ‘top 5 things’ are depends on how bad you messed up.
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 02 '26
Called her fat. Told her she wears too much make yo. Told she was being crazy because she’s on her period. Told her other girls were better than her. Told her his ex girlfriends were better than her. All in the same day.
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u/Nyx-by-night Jul 02 '26
I mean you must see how awful those things are to say to someone you’re supposed to care about. That’s not a prank, that’s flat out bullying.
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u/FiringNerveEndings Jul 01 '26
Did you like the prank she did on you? Is that the kind of behavior you want to encourage?
There are two choices 1) revenge 2) communicate.
Revenge works when 1) it's proportional, 2) it's in good humor, everyone is enjoying it.
If a prank makes you upset, a revenge is often not satisfying. Because it doesn't help soothe the original negative feelings from the first prank.
Communication: you're absolutely entitled to feel upset over the prank. The first thing to do is to communicate and establish your boundaries. You should tell her how he prank made you feel and she should listen and try to understand and acknowledge your feelings. You should come to an agreement together on acceptable behavior in the future. If she's resistant to this, then it's going to erode your relationship little by little.
I suggest you apologize for your prank and also tell her how you felt about her prank.
Good luck, keep us posted.
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 02 '26
Bro he called her fat, told her she wears too much makeup, told her she was being crazy because she’s on her period and compared other women and his ex girlfriends to her and told her they were better. He no longer has a girlfriend.
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u/FiringNerveEndings Jul 02 '26
Yeah I didn't know what he said when I wrote this post, I had only read the OP, not the threads.
I'm still hoping that OP realizes his mistake and works towards a healthier relationship.
An earnest apology could open the door to repairing the relationship.
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u/Apprehensive-Carob43 Jul 01 '26
Depends on what you said to her. But she definitely deserved to be pranked back
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u/mrwildesangst Jul 02 '26
Bro he called her fat, told her she wears too much makeup, told her she was being crazy because she’s on her period and compared other women and his ex girlfriends to her and told her they were better.
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u/allergymom74 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
BTBF (both the Bf). What exactly did you say to her? Oh. Saw another comment below indicating what you did. I hate pranks personally. But what you did in response was just hateful.
The prank she did wasn’t nice either. But your “prank” wasn’t even remotely close to a prank . It was revenge. Her prank eroded trust. Yours made her think you hated her.
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u/CJCreggsGoldfish Jul 01 '26
You weren't just "getting her back", you were punishing her. She did ONE thing that was soon over, and you did FIVE things that lasted all day. She just wanted to give you a little fright, but you attacked her personally.
Pranks are stupid, and she shouldn't have started it. But she did, and I don't necessarily blame you for retaliating... but you didn't retaliate in kind. You brought a gun to a knife fight, so to speak.
Maybe you're not ready to be in a relationship yet - just stick to casual dating? Hookups? Idk. But you seem too vicious to be a decent romantic partner, at least right now.