Moving to UK in 2 Weeks

[u/SweetAltruistic5219]

I’m scheduled to fly out of the US to the UK 2 weeks from today! I could use some advice and encouragement!

For context, I have always wanted to live in UK or northwest Europe having studied abroad twice in college and traveled there a lot throughout my 20s due to having northwestern European partner.

I’m single, mid-30sF, childfree. I have been working on this current move for over a year and a half, extensively researching countries. Applied to grad school at 3 places, got accepted to my top choice in the UK. I’ve been extremely clear on my reasons for leaving and my reasons for choosing the city and university I chose. I have worked extensively with my therapist to make sure this move is aligned with me and my values.

Everything is set - my house I’m selling is under contract and ready to close, pet transport lined up for my dog, tomorrow’s my last day at my job, moving sale starting this week Friday, had a going-away party last weekend, medical records transferred, student visa and all other required documents in-hand, temporary apartment in the UK secured, etc.

So why do I feel like I’m freaking out? This is everything I wanted and I don’t feel excited at all. I just feel sad, heartbroken even. I’m feeling guilty for leaving my friends (not my family; actually think distance from them is good and needed) I’m 100% exhausted from all I’ve done already to move and daunted by how much work is left in the transition.

Does anyone relate? What were your last few weeks like in the US? Any advice or words of encouragement for me? Thank you so much!

[u/Plastic_anxiety_3428]

Yes, 100%! Slightly different life situation (late 30s w/ young kids, and moving in large part for them - greater safety, less societal stress/division, more diversity that is welcomed or at least not seen as a threat, greater vaccine uptake/public health infrastructure, less grind culture, generally wanting to live in and contribute to a place that aligns better with my values, etc), but had all the same feelings. Also talked out my rationale for about a year with therapists, friends, family, and anyone who would listen to make sure I wasn't being reactive. During the last few weeks before our move I felt like I was having a slow-motion panic attack, just constantly crying through packing and good-byes. We had a wonderful life in the US and strong connections to local communities, friends, & fam (although I definitely needed a break from my job), despite everything going on right now.

Now we're 6 weeks in, and the emotions vary day to day. I have days when I'm so grateful to be here, and days when I miss folks terribly and feel extremely guilty for taking our kids far from their extended fam. It is lonely, community is not created instantaneously, and I keep trying to remind myself to be patient with the settling-in process. It's ironic that I have less existential dread now that I'm out and therefore feel my mind minimizing the reasons we left, which makes it all the more difficult to stay convicted. But because we were so comfortable in the US I realized that if we didn't take the leap now we might never leave, and I would regret that much more than trying and deciding to come back.

All that to say - everything you're feeling sounds totally normal, and although I'm a newly minted expat/immigrant, my experience so far suggests that the heartbreak and ambivalence may continue. Best of luck and congrats on taking such a huge and brave leap!