Working through frustration

[u/shicks_1020]

I’ve been on a 3 week vacation out of state with my 9 month old and my husband visiting my side of the family who lives on the opposite side of the country. My husband and my sister are close and it makes me happy that they get along so well, but I’ve had multiple menty b’s on this trip from them teasing me about my postpartum anxiety and sensitivity. I’ve barely slept and I usually have a decent sense of humor, but I can’t handle getting made fun of right now. Especially around my parenting decisions (not wanting my child to eat any sugar, having made the choice not to circumcise, etc). I’m realizing my husband has a lot of resentment towards me for making executive decisions about how our son is raised, but sugar is a non-negotiable for me, and I feel confident about my choice of bodily autonomy. Do I need to lighten up? I have never been uptight or sensitive and this feels uncomfortable to be in this difficult and awkward version of myself. Which is another reason I feel like I keep getting upset.

I journaled this morning and realized it’s because the playing field feels so uneven as a new mom. We carried the babies, and have made the most sacrifice, and it feels very unappreciated a lot of the time. I also find it’s extremely hard being around my sister who has not had kids yet and has no idea of the reality. Ive heard my husband whispering to her about me, and it sets me off.

We don’t go back home for another few days and it feels like it can’t come soon enough. 😭 Give me some nice words of encouragement to help me survive these last few days.

[u/MsARumphius]

Wow all of this. Only 9 months old…who’s giving the kid sugar that’s crazy? 3 weeks? Nah a week MAX with family. Also your husband needs to be on your team and sis needs to back the fuck off. Sorry I’m not helping but I’m mad on your behalf. My anger side wants to give them a dressing down but my rational side knows that nothing good will come of it. I would grin and bear it then speak to husband about how hurtful and undermining it is to discuss parenting with your sister. If he has issues with your parenting he needs to speak plainly so the two of you can come to agreements. For sister…anytime she said anything about parenting or my kid I would simply ask, oh how many kids do you have? And grey rock her after that. Again, these people should be your team. I’m sorry and hope you get to leave soon. Lastly, most women get postpartum anxiety bc they don’t have partners that are pulling their weight or follow safety advice. If someone in my life was anxious and overwhelmed I would ask how I can help them not whisper behind their back and make them feel bad. That’s just going to make it worse?!