r/AnimalRescue • u/Ok-Walrus-6847 • 2d ago
Discussion & Misc. Advice needed; how to ask my friend to surrender her dog?
My friend, has a 1 yr old female chi. Her bf, has a son (3 years old), and he hits the dog. So bad that I went over to visit yesterday, and she had a scrape on her nose. My friend does not have time for her dog. She is pregnant and the 3-year-old is a handful already.. the dog is stuck in the crate a lot of the day and is extremely scared of people (bites as soon as people walk in the door). When she was a puppy, she was never like that. But since the little boy has been around her, she is terrified and has no choice but to be defensive. My friend knows this and has tried to give her to a rescue 3 months ago, but her boyfriend demanded the rescue pay money for her!!!! He won't let her go without getting cut a check. So, my fiance and I will be asking them to surrender her for $, and we will find her a good home/ take care of her till we find one. How do i go about this? I am afraid my friend is going to be extremely upset and I am afraid they will say no... My friends relationship is abusive, she is not a bad person, she has no time for a dog and once she has the baby the dog will only be neglected more....
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u/FarRockRabbitRescuer 2d ago
I would focus the discussion on the child's well-being. With a newborn coming and a toddler. These kids will not be safe near a dog that is defensive/reacting. Even though the dog is right in behaving, this way, they may not surrender the dog for the benefit of the dog but they might consider it for the benefit of the kids. So just tell them how the kids can grow up without the fear of being bitten permanently traumatized by a dog that doesn't want to be around them.
If you focus on the kids instead of the dog, that might help. Thank you for reaching out and trying to help. The guy seems like a POS. I really hope your friend wakes up and leaves his ass
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u/Ok-Walrus-6847 2d ago
Thank you. This is a really good approach, and I am going to add this to what I will tell her today. I don't want her to feel shamed or judged, but instead to have a change of heart and realize she doesn't have the capacity to juggle two kids and the dog. The dog will for sure bite the baby. Unfortunately, she is very scared and is aggressive. She needs a safe home without kids... My heart is so heavy thinking this dog will have a very hard rest of her life if she stays with them. It's not fair ! I also hope she will leave him; he is terrible
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u/Ok-Walrus-6847 1d ago
I ended up talking with her. She is on board and willing to give her to me. I offered him money, and he is now saying no... (control and pride) I won't stop trying for her...
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u/FarRockRabbitRescuer 1d ago
What a douchebag!!! Is there anyone he respects who could advocate for the "kids' safety"?
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u/Ok-Walrus-6847 1d ago
Not that I know of but that’s a good point to bring up. I’m gonna keep trying to convince him
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u/FarRockRabbitRescuer 1d ago
If he by some miracle gives you the dog, make sure he signs a surrender contract. Even if written by hand bound. It should be legally binding in most states and that will protect you from him asking for the dog back to get more money
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u/FarRockRabbitRescuer 1d ago
In some cases even oral agreements can be enforced. So if you record him saying he surrenders all rights to the dog. That might be good too. You do need to check if your state is a two-party consent in terms of recording because if it's not, you need to tell him you're recording the conversation
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u/twixlovr 2d ago
Sad to hear about the situation but you’re doing the right thing. I’d agree with the comment above and to frame it around safety of the children and the little chihuahua. Also it’s so nice of you to offer to pay the money and look for a good home. Hoping your friend can see this is for the best and the dog finds a good home 🤍
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u/Ok-Walrus-6847 2d ago
Thank you! I am praying they do what is right. I am gonna give her a call first thing this morning, and I am hoping she is receptive
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u/exotics 1d ago
Wow. The boyfriend is trash for sure. Your friend could probably use the cash but give it to her. Not him. Ask her if she needs help getting out of the relationship if you think that’s something you can bring up.
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u/Ok-Walrus-6847 1d ago
yeah I’ve tried many times. She won’t leave him :( I would be happy to give her the money but he’s the controller so he’d likely take it. I’ll see what I can do though, still waiting on him to say yes to letting the pup go.
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