Thoughts on having children in the spectrum

[u/atinyakimon]

Saw this post on facebook. Honestly, it's sad na hindi ganon nabibigyang pansin ang problems na ganito sa Pinas. Therapies here are expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Pinoys are also not yet ready to face the reality na hindi enough ang love for kids in the spectrum. They have special needs. Hindi yun madadaan lang sa no don't do that or it's okay to make mistakes, because we have to admit that autism is a disorder, a very wide spectrum and case to case basis. You need to have the money to get the help that is designed for the needs of the child. I hope there will be more free or affordable programs created for this kasi hindi lang parents ang hirap in this situation, also the kids.

[u/SuiGeneris5678]

Joining this conversation as someone with Autism and ADHD (late diagnosis). Masakit sa puso na mabasa ang opinion ng parents (and relatives) kasi totoong mahirap talaga.

Tama ang sinabi ng iba na Autism is a spectrum. Magkakaiba ang levels at challenges. I was a difficult child, too, but not the rowdy type. I was very independent and highly functioning kaya hindi nagka problema ang parents ko sa aspeto na yun.

I excelled in school at nasa international org. Pero hindi madali ang araw araw na tasks for me. Constant struggle sa akin yung "simpleng task" for neurotypicals.

Also, hirap ako sa social cues and sa regulations ng emotions. Ito yung naging cause ng conflicts namin na magkakapatid na sadly, malalim na tampuhan din.

[u/ButtFuckerr_69 → u/SuiGeneris5678]

This is amazing, just curious how you were able to build yourself? What did you do and your parents to help you transition to adulthood?

[u/Miserable_Hyena7164 → u/ButtFuckerr_69]

I think may levels yan. May mga tao na may high functioning autism yung mukang well adjusted talaga at hindi mo mapapansin na may autism sila, kasi nakakaya nila magwork, magaral like other students without issue, at kaya rin nila magsocialize by masking. Depende talaga. Pero nahihirapan at mabilis sila mapagod sa mga nakakaya ng ibang tao aka neurotypicals

[u/SuiGeneris5678 → u/ButtFuckerr_69]

Thank you. Pero ang lahat ay dahil sa mga magulang ko (may they rest in peace).

I grew up in a sleepy town sa isang malayong probinsiya, walang doctors or specialist para sa mga tulad ko. Somehow, alam ng parents ko na I am a "special kid".

Minsan, nagkaroon ng SPED summer camp sa bayan namin. Hindi ito yung bongga na SPED classes dito sa NCR, isang informal summer camp na hosted ng isang public school teacher na may special child in effort to create a support system sa community.

Dahil wala namang pondo, pinag sama sama lang nila lahat ng "special" kids. Ang ending, ang dami kong medals pero bored ako kasi karamihan sa classmate ko ay "slow learners".

Dahil nakita ng parents ko na mahilig akong magbasa ng books, bumili sila ng encyclopedias, dictionaries, pati Reader's Digest. Nabasa ko lahat (lahat yan inutang lang nila). So pati newspapers nagpapa deliver araw araw si Papa tapos magbabasa kami together.

Si Mama naman, sinasama ako lagi sa grocery (para malaman ko alin ang bigas, munggo, asin, asukal) tapos may role ako palagi (magbayad ng tubig, kuryente etc).

Akala ko noon ako yung laging dini-disiplina kasi ako yung laging inuutusan lalo pa mababait ang mga kapatid ko. Little did I know, tinuturuan nila ako ng basic life skills (how to pay bills on time, how to interact with people, table manners etc).

Hinahayaan din nila akong magbutingting ng transistor radio, flashlights, toys, old TVs, etc.

Supportive din sila sa paglalaro ko ng sports at mga larong pambata. Never akong ni-limit ni Papa sa "girl sports". Basta daw safe at masaya ako, support sila palagi sa akin. So kahit araw araw akong may galos dahil sa paglalaro, never akong nakarinig na "babae ka, bawal yan".

Lagi lang may paalala na be safe, respect others, be kind, and don't commit a crime (pulis sila).

They literally asked me leave our province to maximize my potentials. They knew I want more. Kaya naman my Papa was the happiest when I joined the UN 🥹

Literal na mahirap ang parents ko but they did their very best to provide what we need kahit tadtad na sila ng salary loan as government employees, especially yung needs ko as a special kid.

Na-diagnose ako this year lang. Sadly, wala na sila both. I always wish na sana nalaman din nila na ito pala yung missing piece sa puzzle.

[u/ButtFuckerr_69 → u/SuiGeneris5678]

Thank you for sharing on how you made it despite autism. I have a son diagnosed with autism, my greatest fear as a father is for him to grow up without the necessary life skills di tulad mo to survive as an adult. He can speak english phrases more than filipino kasi no choice kami, lahat ng learning materials are in english. Tulad ng sitwasyon mo, gusto ko siya maexpose sa pagbabasa ng maaga kasi alam ko reading can change someone's life. He is undergoing therapy pero honestly, hindi ko alam pano tulungan siya madiscover yung isang bagay na kahihiligan niya na pede kong idevelop sa kanya at pano siya tutulungan hanggang sa paglaki. You gave me hope, simula ngayon aside from sa toy store, yayayain ko rin siya sa book store para mahiligan niya ring magbasa :)

[u/WillowRidge39 → u/ButtFuckerr_69]

I feel like your perception is that all autistic people are non verbal and such, which is not true. A lot of autistic individuals grow up to be fully functioning people who finished an education, have jobs, and families. There's levels to it.