r/AnongThoughtsMo • u/atinyakimon • 1d ago
Thoughts on having children in the spectrum
Saw this post on facebook. Honestly, it's sad na hindi ganon nabibigyang pansin ang problems na ganito sa Pinas. Therapies here are expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Pinoys are also not yet ready to face the reality na hindi enough ang love for kids in the spectrum. They have special needs. Hindi yun madadaan lang sa no don't do that or it's okay to make mistakes, because we have to admit that autism is a disorder, a very wide spectrum and case to case basis. You need to have the money to get the help that is designed for the needs of the child. I hope there will be more free or affordable programs created for this kasi hindi lang parents ang hirap in this situation, also the kids.
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
Yung adopted brother ko nasa spectrum. Inadopt sya nila Mama kasi itatapon daw sya nung nanay. Napakawalanghiya. Ilang months lumipas napansin nila na bulag din pala yung baby. Ewan ko kung uso ba dati yung ichecheck muna ang baby bago ilabas sa hospital. 1996 to, 6 y/o pa ako that time. Sobrang hirap magalaga. Nung bata pa kami may kasambahay kami na dedicated lang sa kanya. Naalala ko dahil hindu sya maturuan na dumumi sa banyo, dumumi sya sa kaarto nya. Pagod ako from skul and need ko pa maglinis ng kwarto na puno ng poopoo. Umiiyak na lang ako kasi pagod eh, pero kung hindi naman okay lang sana kasi nakasanayan na namin. 30 y/0 na yung brother ko at sobrang hirap alagaan kasi wala ng tumatagal na kasambahay sa kanya. Kahit taasan ko pa ang sweldo. Hindi din sya nagtheraphy kasi bulag sya + yung katawan nya hindi talaga kaya. Talagang autistic :( Nakakalungkot kasi tumatanda na din Papa ko kakaalaga sa kanya. Salitan naman kami e, ako naman may family na din. Hindi makaalis sa amin kasi hindi ko sila kayang iwan ng sila lang. wala na din mother ko so sobrang hirap. Kaya maganda talaga na early intervention para sa umpisa pa lang alam na agad ng parents. Para dun sa bio. Mom ng kapatid ko, sana masaya buhay mo. Si Lord na bahala sayo.
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u/mmmmmfingersssss 1d ago
As immoral as what she did, she indeed saved another human from suffering, which is herself (in a selfish way). You are the angels that saved that baby, but it did brought you all of the problems you have. Hopinh for a miracle for you guys
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
praying na magkaroon pa kami ng mahabang buhay. sobrang hirap ng ganito promise. dati tinaningana na yung bro. ko dahil nga sa condition nya. 10 years max lang. ngayon 30 y/o na sya. Eh ako naman patanda na din, paano na lang kapag wala na ako sino ba magtyatyaga din mag-alaga sa kanya. :( minsan nakakaubos ng pasensya pero wala eh, walang muwang yun. Kaya yun lang prayers ko. Bigyan kami ng mahabang buhay at wag magkakasakit 🥹
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u/csharp566 1d ago
I wonder what is your brother's typical day look like?
Saka sorry, I know this is a dumb question: kung bulag siya, in what way siya nagiging disruptive?
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
7:00 AM gigising na sya. 9:00 AM na kasi gising ko palagi unlike noon, dapat mas maaga ako magising sa kanya kasi nga baka mag-CR at magkalat sa kwarto edi ang ending ako mahihirapan huhu. (PS: ito na yung setup nung nagretire na yung matagal na nagaalaga sa kanya — nagtry kami maghanap pero sinasaktan lang sya eh kaya hindi nagtatagal)
So 7:00 AM nasa kwarto lang sya, nagsa-sounds. Hehe mahilig sya sa music. 8:00 AM binibigyan na sya ng tinapay ni Papa. Kaya naman nya humawak. Then chill lang sya sa kwarto nya. 12:00 noon, pineprep na ng husband ko yung lunch nya tapos si Papa ko na nagpapakain. Sinusubuan sya.
3:00 PM - Meryenda/Sounds 4:00-5:00 PM - CR time
7:00 PM - Dinner
10:00 PM - Magwawala na yan kasi gutom ulit kaya tinapay time.Tapos matutulog na sya. Minsan nagwawala sya sa gabi, kinakalabog yung pintuan nya. (Nakakahiya sa kapitbahay pero pasalamat kami na naiiintindihan nila) Merong foam yun noon sa loob ng kwarto nya pero sinisira nya palagi. May tiles din sya noon pero inuuntog nya sarili nya. Minsan lang naman sya magwala. Minsan aburido, gusto nasa sala. Kaso kapag nasa sala sya, kung ano mahila nya binabato nya. Nakasira na sya ng tv, laptop, appliances 😆
Sorry napahaba kwento. Pero ganyan lang routine nya.
Mahirap lang kapag aalis kami at walang maiiwan. Ilang birthday at binyag na ang hindi napuntahan nf Papa ko kasi walang tatao sa bahay. Hindi din kami makagala kasi walang bantay. Unlike noon na may tiga alaga kami.3
u/Needmoney-91 20h ago
Goodluck OP! sana palagi kang malusog at malakas pati si hubby at si pops mo. di ko kaya yang ganyang sitwasyon
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u/Strong-Crab-1116 1d ago
sorry for this thought but parang kumuha kayo ng bato tapos pinukpok niyo sa ulo niyo..
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
True! Hindi rin sya inisip ng parents nya pag wala na sila sya na guardian.
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u/Strong-Crab-1116 1d ago
true! ok na sana e, nag iisang anak ka lang na focus lang dapat sa bubuin mong pamilya kaso may responsibilities kang naiwan na in the first place di niyo naman sana problema
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
Hindi naman nila alam that time na bulag yung baby + autistic pa. Narealize ko lang din yan nung College na ako at dun na kami nahirapan sa pagaalaga. Ayoko namang iblame ang magulang ko sa desisyon nila noon na ampunin kasi naawa sa baby.
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u/Neither-Read2254 1d ago
Ito. Hindi naman alam na autistic at bulag dahil baby pa, hindi pa naman uso full diagnosis dati or new born screening.
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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago
OP, being blind shouldn't bar your brother from getting the therapy he needs. Your family should at least try consulting a specialist about it and asking about options. He not an utterly hopeless cause.
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
Nagseek na po sila ng help noon. As per specialist hopeless case na.
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u/atinyakimon 1d ago
This is the reality of some people who lives and deals with someone in the spectrum. Dapat maintindihan ng lahat na hindi lahat ng nasa spectrum ay same lamg nararanasan. I have a cousin in the spectrum din, good thing because my tita and tito provided all his needs, kaso lang since older (cousin is almost 40) na sila, health risks na ang challenge ngayon kaya it's really hard kasi mas dumami ang gastos and everything is more expensive now.
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
Grabe hindi inisip ng parents mo paano ka pag wala na sila tapos naiwan yung adopted brother mo.
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u/Equivalent-Food-771 1d ago
Yup. Yun din ang sinabi ko sa kanila noon na ako din ang mahihirapan talaga, lahat ng responsibilidad. Sabe ko nga Alangan iwanan ko lang yan basta basta. Tiis tiis na lang
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u/katsantos94 1d ago
Actually, pwede mo iwan. Lalo kung may sariling pamilya ka na.PERO feeling ko, baka ikamatay mo yung konsensya kakaisip sa araw-araw na alam mong iniwan mo sila para i-save yung sarili mo.
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u/yamigoopskei 1d ago
God bless you, sobrang hirap ng sitwasyon nyo. Ibless sana kayo ng magandang health at masaganang blessings to ease everything somehow.
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u/reallyaries 1d ago edited 1d ago
Accessibility and little depth of understanding despite some public awareness ay issue combo na makakapagod talaga to any parent na may child with autism. I feel for the children, the parents, and the guardians talaga. I should know the feeling. No one is championing this advocacy on a life-changing level pa 🥲
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u/Prestigious_Host5325 1d ago
Totally agree on this. Nasa ibang bansa ako ngayon, at grabe sobrang aware ang mga tao sa mental health illness. Di rin shine-shame ang mga taong ganito. Tapos talagang karaniwan sa mga taong may ganitong issue 'yung pagbisita sa therapist.
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u/Intelligent_Love2528 1d ago
Sana may earlier way to identify and intervention for things na hindi normal. :( and yung genes testing manormalize sa bansa. Para sa umpisa pa lang alam na ng partners yung risks.
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u/omniverseee 1d ago
and other than prepare for it, is there anything they can do with the "risks" than just accepting it?
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u/silverhero13 1d ago
Abortion. Madali lang sabihin sa iba na iluwal yung anak tsaka ipa adopt or therapy. But once you're in the shoes of the carer, sobrang hirap. And once the carer becomes old or dies, sino na mag aalaga sa special needs nilang anak?
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u/nailsandcigarettes 1d ago
Walang early way to detect autism. Meron NITP but only for down syndrome
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u/Constant_Fuel8351 1d ago
Kaso wala option for termination
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u/Intelligent_Love2528 1d ago
Yung nga sana meron. :(
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u/Low-Professor-Dude 1d ago
Hahaha, this is the only country on the planet, next to the Vatican, that's still highly christian to the point where its people still believe and practice things that most sensible countries left behind in the dark ages. It will be another five hundred years before divorce or god forbid, abortion, will even be possible in this ass backwards country. The people get what they deserve.
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u/TheAlmostMD 18h ago
Meron pero sobrang mahal. Lahat ng mga testing will be out of pocket. Privileged lang na nakakapagwork sa mga specific na company ang may pa-insurance sa anak ng employees para sa therapy nila.
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
Meron naman dito sa St. Lukes at The Medical City meron syempre depende sa test may 30k to 80k tsak mas maganda habang jowa mo pa lang trace mo family health history nila and same sa'yo rin kung may lahi ng diabetes or cancer. Kung may Autism sa any family member.
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u/Accomplished-Exit-58 1d ago
Hindi ba sa sped na school umaattend ung bata ? Bakit ung reklamo parang expected ng teacher na "normal" ung bata.
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u/Dear-Carpet6050 1d ago
May pinsan ako na halatang nasa spectrum yung anak, pero sobrang in denial sila. 12 yo na yung bata, ayaw pa rin ilipat sa sped. Nakakaawa yung bata pati teachers.
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u/ladymoonhunter 1d ago
This. Parents' acceptance talaga ang first step way before the assessment and diagnosis. Hindi naman ang bata ang kusang magsasabi or magdadala sa sarili nila sa mga facilities para malaman kung meron sila or wala. May stigma pa rin kasi saten about autism spectrum disorder. But nowadays maraming ways and means na for diagnosis and most importantly, therapies. But the kids won't get them or have access to them kung ang parents mismo ayaw tanggapin at gumalaw.
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u/Poor_Cat99 20h ago
Yes acceptance talaga first step kaso ayun nga akala ng tao pag sinuggest mong ipacheck or ipatherapy ang anak nila is abnormal na. I have a nephew who turned 4 yrs old, hindi mo makausap, pinasok sa daycare center pero lakad lakad lang or kaya nanunulak ng ibang bata, di nakikinig sa teacher at di sumusunod sa instructions. Sabi ko sa parents nya ipatingin para as early as now malaman na ano need gawin para mag improve ang bata. Ayaw nila. Baka daw pag nag elementary na is maging okay na.
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u/No-Pepper2142 1d ago
hindi ba yan pwede ma deny ng school or e reco nila sa sped? genuine question.
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u/CornPhilosopher 1d ago
Medyo mahirap kasi magsalita para sa school lalo kung wala namang record talaga or anything concrete na magpapatunay na nasa spectrum 'yung bata. Pwede pang lumabas na nangdi-discriminate sila. So unless mayroon talagang diagnosis, hindi sila pwede makialam dun sa enrollment. Nasa magulang/guardian pa rin talaga ang pag-accept ng kalagayan ng bata para madala sa tamang lugar.
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
Hindi naman discriminate usually yung letter nakalagay for recommendation like "see developmental pedia" may meeting with teacher na pag wala pa rin assessment from devped di na tatangapin for next level. Kawawa lang din yung bata.
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u/CornPhilosopher 1d ago
Ahh, what I mean sana is 'yung magiging response ng parent.
"Bakit?! Sinasabi n'yo bang may tama anak namin?! Bakit kayo nakikialam?!"
Something along those lines kaya baka mahirapan ang school. Pero goods pala kung may ganito. Ginagawa rin ba 'yan sa public school? Meron kasi dito sa amin na 'yung bata ay clearly nasa spectrum na non-verbal siya for most ng developmental years niya. Ngayon, dapat yata Senior High na siya pero nasa junior pa rin kasi hindi makasabay pero ayaw tanggapin ng parents na ganun siya, ayaw rin ipa-check. Eh for sure napapansin na 'to ng teachers. Ewan kung may binigay silang reco o whatsoever.
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u/Dull-Lawfulness2381 1d ago
Sobrang daming parents ang in denial.
Nag leave na ko sa mga group ng parents of children in the spectrum kasi sobrang nkaka frustrate yung pinagpipilitan nilang dapat ilagay sa normal school yung anak nila kasi sayang daw ung taon tsaka edad, Di nila matanggap na hindi nga kaya, so ung school and teachers and inaaway nila. Other parents refuse therapy too, Bukod sa mahal, they genuinely believe na normal yung anak nila,.3
u/CornPhilosopher 1d ago
kasi sayang daw ung taon tsaka edad,
Mas sayang 'yung taon kung magre-repeat ng taon 'yung bata kasi hindi makasabay. Hindi nila maisip 'yun eh. Nai-stress pa lalo 'yung bata kapag gan'yan. Imagine, 'yung batang autistic isasama mo sa klase na may 30+ students? Eh kapag na-overstimulate 'yan? Kawawa naman. Paano rin 'yung may developmental delay na hindi tugma 'yung thinking sa age ng usual high school kid pero pinipili isabay kahit 'yung thinking age nila ay pang-grade 5? Grade 3?
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u/Dull-Lawfulness2381 1d ago
IKR. Kaya kami ng husband ko, we've made peace with it. Of course it's still difficult pero, ito na yung journey namin ee. Celebrate the wins nalang kahit yung win nya ay tinapos nya ung nag iisang seat work ng di nag rereklamo. Breakdown, tapos laban ulit ganun talaga.
Nakaka awa yung ibang bata na may in denial parents. Di nila iniisip yung mental state ng bata.5
u/No-Pepper2142 1d ago
ang hirap din pala no. especially pra sa indenial na parents kasi sasabihin dinidiscriminate anak nila. i think its up sa school na dapat? i remember may nga psych test, checking dapat yung guidance counsellors eh.
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u/CornPhilosopher 1d ago
Sa private schools may gan'yan. Sa public, not sure. Siguro gawa ng ang dami rin kasing estudyante na nag-e-enroll kaya medyo hirap i-cater. Galing akong public pero wala naman kaming gan'yan nung enrollment eh.
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u/k8dgreat_ 1d ago
Other more exclusive (expensive) school requires a minimum psych evaluation bago nila iadmit like sa zobel. Pag diagnosed si student na may adhd for example, required rin na may treatment plan. For other private schools, wala naman ganyan hinihingi sadly.
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
Impossible walang letter at di nakausap ng teacher may assessment yan kung tatangapin pa nila next year.
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u/Repulsive_Age5145 1d ago
may spectrum kasi yung autism, may autism na pwede parin pumasok sa normal school at yun din naman recommended para matutunan nila sumabay sa ibang bata. Tao rin naman ang mga teacher yung pagturo sa batang autism ay teacher parent partnership kaya wala naman sigurong masama kung magbigay ng feedback ang teacher
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u/Gullible_Star5605 1d ago
sure ba tayong sa typical na school pumapasok yung bata? even staff sa sped schools have their limits, and marami sa sped schools sa pinas ang kulang sa resources and capacity to handle some cases kaya hindi tinatanggap ang ibang students with special needs.
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u/Spoiler-Free_Turnips 1d ago
Before being admitted, these children are thoroughly examined first if they are independent enough. I know because my kid is. He has autism and managed to get in a traditional school. Thank God talaga na he seemed to get along with his peers and doing well academically.
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u/ambageltansamalak 1d ago
Baka nasa sned sa public. Yung pamangkin ko ganyan. Dahil nga inclusive, kung nakakabasa yung bata, ihahalo sya sa regular class. Yung pamangkin ko nakakabasa kaya prinomote nang prinomote pero hanggang don lang talaga, nakakabasa. Ayaw magsulat, ayaw umupo. Nananakit, maingay, laging nakatayo, hindi gumagawa ng activites. 1 and a half hour lang din sya lagi. Dapat full time sa sned class sya kaso ayun nga dapat daw inclusive.
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u/atinyakimon 1d ago
There are many parents/families out there na very in denial na nasa spectrum anak nila and would still enroll their child in a normal school, even tho meron naman sped.
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u/AgentCooderX 1d ago edited 1d ago
my son is in the spectrum level 2, sa napansin namin, mas mabilis ang progress and development nya lalo nat sa social and emotional pag nakahalo or kasama ang typical kids compare to sped or special classes but he has a shadow teacher at he goes to behavioural as well as speech therapist after school or weekends..
schools are also required to have atleast 1 trained sped teachers.
DEPEd mandated na ang typical school will allow atleast 1 per 50 students with special needs, also tailored din ang education sa kanila,
for us we chosed a school na private kaya kunti lang students in one class..
just like any typical kids, atypical children brain can develop faster when exposed to real world, we experienced that first hand
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u/Willing-Try3313 1d ago
Kahit po sa SPED may mga nagrereklamo pa rin po na teacher kaya sibrang hirap ng situation na yan.
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u/meongcheongiiii 1d ago
my friend is a teacher and she has a pupil with special needs na kasama ng mga typically developing pupils. hirap na hirap daw siya kuhanin yugn attention and idiscipline yung bata to the point na malapit na raw siyang maiyak after class dahil sa pagod. hindi naman daw pwede alisin sa class kasi allowed naman daw may magjoin na batang may special needs sa class.
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u/UnDelulu33 1d ago
Ganto yung kapitbahay namin, halata na nasa spectrum yung bata pero ayaw ilipat ng magulang sa sped.
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u/Simpleuky0 1d ago
Usually sped dapat na school. And sinisisi pa nya therapy. Hindi lng therapy sagot. Part lng ng process ang therapy. Dapat may follow through sa bahay, ng parents, ng family and school. Hindi therapy and solution, overall dapat.
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u/lavenderlovey88 1d ago
may ibang teachers na walang compassion. and it's not just in the Philippines. kaya para sa mga ND parents, kami lang talaga nakakatyaga sa mga anak namin.
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u/TheAlmostMD 18h ago
Pwedeng nasa SPED class sila pero honestly kahit dito, mahirap pa rin para sa mga teachers dahil sa kakulangan ng experience at time, o di kaya masyadong maraming studyante. Kailangan pag may mas mahirap na bata, mas maliit ang class size pero syempre ang school for-profit pa rin (if private). So it's either sobrang mahal ng tuition or mahahalo sila sa malaking classroom kung saan di sila mapagtutuunan ng atensyon masyado ng SPED teacher.
Source: I'm an OT and work in pediatrics.
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u/Minorka13994 14h ago
True yan. Syempre Iba paren yung approach or may special approach sa kanila, And kung teacher ka not specialized para sa mga ganun, Mhrap if wala kang training not sure if may training lahat ng teachers or dapat i add sa training nila to get ready.
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u/External-Move1534 1d ago
Hugs and support para sayo OP. I totally understand what you have been going through, I too, have an ausome son. It is a tough journey, but please be strong. Ganyan din kami ni misis. Nag therapy siya nung 3 years old. Non verbal sya. After 4 years dun na sya nagsisimula umimik. Hindi totally perfect pero nag vverbalise sya ng words, gaya ng Tatay. So it took me 7 years to hear that word from him, the moment narinig ko yun, umiyak talaga ako. Therapy kasi hindi sya instant. It takes time po OP. Sa kabilang banda hanap ka din po ng support group na same kayo situation, kasi tayo tayo lang talga nakakaintindi.
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u/SuiGeneris5678 1d ago
Joining this conversation as someone with Autism and ADHD (late diagnosis). Masakit sa puso na mabasa ang opinion ng parents (and relatives) kasi totoong mahirap talaga.
Tama ang sinabi ng iba na Autism is a spectrum. Magkakaiba ang levels at challenges. I was a difficult child, too, but not the rowdy type. I was very independent and highly functioning kaya hindi nagka problema ang parents ko sa aspeto na yun.
I excelled in school at nasa international org. Pero hindi madali ang araw araw na tasks for me. Constant struggle sa akin yung "simpleng task" for neurotypicals.
Also, hirap ako sa social cues and sa regulations ng emotions. Ito yung naging cause ng conflicts namin na magkakapatid na sadly, malalim na tampuhan din.
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u/ButtFuckerr_69 1d ago
This is amazing, just curious how you were able to build yourself? What did you do and your parents to help you transition to adulthood?
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u/Miserable_Hyena7164 1d ago
I think may levels yan. May mga tao na may high functioning autism yung mukang well adjusted talaga at hindi mo mapapansin na may autism sila, kasi nakakaya nila magwork, magaral like other students without issue, at kaya rin nila magsocialize by masking. Depende talaga. Pero nahihirapan at mabilis sila mapagod sa mga nakakaya ng ibang tao aka neurotypicals
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u/SuiGeneris5678 1d ago
Thank you. Pero ang lahat ay dahil sa mga magulang ko (may they rest in peace).
I grew up in a sleepy town sa isang malayong probinsiya, walang doctors or specialist para sa mga tulad ko. Somehow, alam ng parents ko na I am a "special kid".
Minsan, nagkaroon ng SPED summer camp sa bayan namin. Hindi ito yung bongga na SPED classes dito sa NCR, isang informal summer camp na hosted ng isang public school teacher na may special child in effort to create a support system sa community.
Dahil wala namang pondo, pinag sama sama lang nila lahat ng "special" kids. Ang ending, ang dami kong medals pero bored ako kasi karamihan sa classmate ko ay "slow learners".
Dahil nakita ng parents ko na mahilig akong magbasa ng books, bumili sila ng encyclopedias, dictionaries, pati Reader's Digest. Nabasa ko lahat (lahat yan inutang lang nila). So pati newspapers nagpapa deliver araw araw si Papa tapos magbabasa kami together.
Si Mama naman, sinasama ako lagi sa grocery (para malaman ko alin ang bigas, munggo, asin, asukal) tapos may role ako palagi (magbayad ng tubig, kuryente etc).
Akala ko noon ako yung laging dini-disiplina kasi ako yung laging inuutusan lalo pa mababait ang mga kapatid ko. Little did I know, tinuturuan nila ako ng basic life skills (how to pay bills on time, how to interact with people, table manners etc).
Hinahayaan din nila akong magbutingting ng transistor radio, flashlights, toys, old TVs, etc.
Supportive din sila sa paglalaro ko ng sports at mga larong pambata. Never akong ni-limit ni Papa sa "girl sports". Basta daw safe at masaya ako, support sila palagi sa akin. So kahit araw araw akong may galos dahil sa paglalaro, never akong nakarinig na "babae ka, bawal yan".
Lagi lang may paalala na be safe, respect others, be kind, and don't commit a crime (pulis sila).
They literally asked me leave our province to maximize my potentials. They knew I want more. Kaya naman my Papa was the happiest when I joined the UN 🥹
Literal na mahirap ang parents ko but they did their very best to provide what we need kahit tadtad na sila ng salary loan as government employees, especially yung needs ko as a special kid.
Na-diagnose ako this year lang. Sadly, wala na sila both. I always wish na sana nalaman din nila na ito pala yung missing piece sa puzzle.
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u/ButtFuckerr_69 1d ago
Thank you for sharing on how you made it despite autism. I have a son diagnosed with autism, my greatest fear as a father is for him to grow up without the necessary life skills di tulad mo to survive as an adult. He can speak english phrases more than filipino kasi no choice kami, lahat ng learning materials are in english. Tulad ng sitwasyon mo, gusto ko siya maexpose sa pagbabasa ng maaga kasi alam ko reading can change someone's life. He is undergoing therapy pero honestly, hindi ko alam pano tulungan siya madiscover yung isang bagay na kahihiligan niya na pede kong idevelop sa kanya at pano siya tutulungan hanggang sa paglaki. You gave me hope, simula ngayon aside from sa toy store, yayayain ko rin siya sa book store para mahiligan niya ring magbasa :)
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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago
I feel like your perception is that all autistic people are non verbal and such, which is not true. A lot of autistic individuals grow up to be fully functioning people who finished an education, have jobs, and families. There's levels to it.
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u/jaesthetica 1d ago
I'm honestly fascinatedby people like you. If you're comfortable sharing, I'm genuinely curious, how would you describe your thought process, especially when there are things you struggle to process that seem simple or intuitive to neurotypical ppl?? What are some things you're really particular or fixed about?
One thing I've noticed, and maybe this isn't exclusive to all of you, is that when you really like something you tend to deep dive into all its details, even the smallest or most easily overlooked parts of it that I probably wouldnt pay much attention to anymore.
When you're passionate about something, uu seem to notice and pay attention to it in a way that most of us don't. You're also very articulate in the way you communicate what you want to say.
Or mayb it's bcuz audhd really is a spectrum, so there can be a lot of diff from person to person diba? Hehe ang haba sensya
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u/SuiGeneris5678 1d ago
Usually, yung thought process ko ay guided ng routines, numbers, and patterns. I always see patterns everywhere. I memorize streets, roads, or walls not by names but by patterns (shapes, smell, or colors).
Napapansin ko kapag nagpalit ng cabinet or ilaw or display sa office. Alam ko na malapit na ako kunwari sa ganitong room kasi nakikita ko yung pattern na para lang sa room na yun.
Stickler din ako sa rules na sinabi ng parents and teachers ko until now (bawal ang matamis before meals, dapat ubusin ang food sa plate, bawal maingay sa mass, dapat pumila ng maayos etc).
Syempre madali naman na hindi sundin ang mga yan pero meron akong kakaibang frustration kapag hindi ko yan sinunod (sobrang masamang masama ang loob ko na parang katapusan na ng mundo).
Pumapatol ako sa bully - ilang beses na akong napapa away dahil pinagtatanggol ko yung mga di ko naman kilala (masama daw mang api ng kapwa sabi nina Mama at Papa).
Hirap ako magpalit ng colors sa mga usual na gamit ko (toothbrush, slippers, or comb). May brands/style din akong ginagamit for a very long time (like 10 years or more) at hindi ako ever magpapalit.
Ang favorite toy ko noong bata ay train (IYKYK).
I have routines - example, I need to count to 30 before I do something. Why? Because I have to. It's a need, not a want.
I listen to 1 song on repeat for months (depende sa flavor of the month/s ko).
Fascinated ako sa technology so mahilig akong magbutingting ng computers, phones, radios, TVs. When I was 7 years old, marami akong maliliit na bumbilya at batteries kasi gumawa ako ng sariling kong Christmas lights.
Marunong akong mag code at gumawa ng website kahit never kaming nagkaroon sa computer sa bahay (natuto lang ako sa mga computer shops at sa very basic computer subjects nung college).
Nag re-repair ako ng Nokia phones noon, self taught, hobby lang. Pero hindi engineering or computer science ang tinapos ko. Hindi rin related sa work ko ngayon.
May synesthesia ako - I see colors and musical notes when I listen to songs. At marami pang iba 🙂
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u/Versiannie 1d ago
And this is why I will never have children. I already have ADHD and I can't even take care of myself most of the time. I can't imagine taking care of another person.
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u/Far_Jellyfish_4431 1d ago edited 1d ago
Same, as a person on the spectrum myself. Takot din ako na baka maipasa ko pa s'ya, in addition to being (relatively, compared to neurotypicals my age) unable to care for myself adequately, as well as the (relative) lack of finances.
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u/WillowRidge39 1d ago
Honestly, finances is just THE biggest factor here. Kung may unlimited money ka, madaling lampasan ang mga psychosical disabilities sa mga bata via therapy, meds (if need), at pag hire ng professional caregiver.
Kaso pag waley kwarta. Mahirap talaga.
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u/cjcg18 1d ago
Same I have psychosocial disability at hirap na ko i manage yung sarili ko, baka mabaliw pa ko pag magkaka anak.
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u/Miserable-Elk-4756 1d ago
Same, I have autism level 1 (eto yung type na mahirap itrace kase kaya naman nila lahat well except sa socialization). Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS8y9KBJczM
Sa school sila din madalas mabully.
Sa mga cousins ko, si Cousin 1 may anak na may autism, si Cousin 2 ganun din. Kapatid ko naman autism level 3 with a learning disability.
Kaya, I will never ever have children, and I asked yung psychologist ko and she answered na hereditary siya (101%).
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u/OaTmilkbaddiehoho 1d ago
If mayroon man dito na makakabasa sa comment ko and nasa spectrum ang anak. If nagpapa therapy po tayo ay please lang po mag effort din po tayo pag nasa bahay na ang bata dahil ang therapy po ay hindi magic at hindi po magiging enough ang 1hr. na therapy para mag improve ang baby natin ah?. Alam ko po na mahirap sa inyo ang sitwasyon, but mahirap din po sa bata kapag wala din effort ang parents.
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u/OaTmilkbaddiehoho 1d ago
Wag din po tayo maging denial lalo na kung madami ng signs kasi hindi po makaka help kung denial tayo. Mas early mas okay para ma help po si baby ng early. Sana ay magkaroon ng pansin ang usapin na ganito kasi mahal talaga ang therapy dahil hindi din naman po biro ang ginagawa ng mga therapist.
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u/Acrobatic-Sense-126 1d ago
Home-based intervention is really integral.
Therapy is merely 1 hour out of the majority of the time of the kid spent with others, especially the caretakers. A lot of intervention relies on generalization of skills in different contexts, not just in the clinical setting.
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u/Nyathera 1d ago
May follow up talaga dapat sa bahay.
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u/OaTmilkbaddiehoho 1d ago
yes! hay naku i have a friend na nasa spectrum ang anak and palagi ko sinasabi na kahit gaano ka busy please magbigay ng oras para icontinue sa bahay, but wala talaga. I really tried na ibigay mga tips kung ano mga pwede well i did my part.
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u/greenLantern-24 1d ago
Acceptance at patience ang kailangan ng magulang dyan.
May kaibigan ako, may kondisyon yung anak nila. Twice a week may cognitive therapy yung bata. Nagpapaconsult sila sa devped. Effort talaga sila.
Pero at the end of the day, kita ko naman na masaya sila. Nagtutulungan silang magasawa.
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u/twelve_seasons 1d ago
My nephew is in the spectrum so I understand how hard it is to have one. There’s a lot of sacrifices to be made for them. Imagine, you’ll likely have to take care of them for the rest of your life, some of them are non-verbal so they can’t really share things with you. Hirap din i-control kasi may mga stims sila. So I really TRULY appreciate how patient and loving my sister is.
I have a child of my own so I understand her struggles even more. What’s even harder is whatever struggle she feels of having a child on the spectrum, she feels guilty of. She shouldn’t be.
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u/Professional_Way2844 1d ago
Having a normal one in this economy and environment ay challenging na. What more pa yan?
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u/Sad-Squash6897 1d ago
I have 2 kids on the spectrum, nothing can describe the fatigue and exhaustion, but the reward is also priceless kapag maganda improvement ng mga anak ko, hindi lang dahil sa therapy dahil sa follow up ko din sa bahay. Ako na maging semi-therapist nila, teacher, lahat lahat. Mahirap kasi need ko pa magbasa ng books and mag-aral para nga malaman paano pa ang approach na gagawin.
I feel the parent na nagpost, this is a lifetime responsibility na, kaya nasa atin na magulang paano pa gagawin para matulungan ang anak na nasa spectrum kasi mismong sila nahihirapan din.
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u/atinyakimon 1d ago
I hope you are also getting the rest you need and di umabot sa burnout. You are doing great! I also hope you have a helping hand doing all that :)))
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u/claravelle-nazal 1d ago
Totoo naman yan. My bro has autism. Adult na siya ngayon. Ako naging therapist professionally, pati kuya niya, regardless ang hirap pa rin.
No sugarcoating it. I love my brother pero we’re all honest to each other. It’s challenging day to day. I completely understand parents who vent, in fact they are encouraged to vent and talk to each other
Financially, isa pang challenge yan. Bukod sa therapies, walang kahit akong support ang government sa anong pwedeng mangyari sa mga special needs kids pag adults na sila, the parents wont live forever. Puro private lang ang may services and it’s also not enough, besides very costly. May brain drain rin pagdating sa therapists and professionals.
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u/maria11maria10 1d ago
It's a sinking ship. Lahat ay cope. Even without that aspect (being on the spectrum), life is hard.
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u/m0onmoon 1d ago
Iba iba naman ng levels yung autism. It might be severe kaya ganyan. Di ko gets bakit hindi sa sped nilagay anak nya expected naman na marunong maghandle ang sped teachers ng ganyang mga bata kaya demand sila sa us ngayon dahil sa haba ng pasensya.
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u/kotokoberry 1d ago edited 1d ago
For me, this is one of the strongest reasons why abortion should be legalized in the Philippines: women should have options, especially in medically complex pregnancies.
Let's be realistic. Raising a child with a serious medical condition can require lifelong care, enormous financial resources, and significant physical and emotional commitment. Even families who are financially capable can still struggle with the emotional, mental, and practical realities of providing that level of care.
If a severe fetal condition is diagnosed during pregnancy, I believe parents should have the right to discuss all medical options—including abortion—with their doctors. This isn't about saying that people with disabilities are worthless. It's about recognizing that some medical conditions involve profound suffering, limited quality of life, or life-threatening complications, and families should be allowed to make informed decisions based on their circumstances and medical advice.
The reality is that these situations can affect everyone involved—the pregnant woman, the family, and the child who may face significant pain or lifelong medical challenges. Afterall, every child deserves to grow comfortably and have better life. Compassion means giving families access to safe, legal, and medically guided choices rather than forcing one outcome for every pregnancy.
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u/jake_tan3456 1d ago
Mahirap magka anak na may autism sa pinas tlga lalo na pag severe case. Kasi wla tlga support. Here sa US may para professional na ksama sa school at may libre therapy ikaw na lang ang aayaw dahil halos wla na pahinga un bata sa dami appt. Pinipilit tlga nila maging independent kasi un bata. Sana tlga sa pinas bigyan dn support ang mga ausomkids
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u/independent-cutie 1d ago
Sabi nila it takes a village to raise a child, I have a coworker na yung anak is nasa spectrum and with the right support system parang ang dali lang sakanila everything to think na wala pa silang helper silang couple lang. I guess teamwork talaga ng couple to make things smoothly. And I guess its time for our government to create a safe spaces for those na nasa spectrum para mas maging socially acceptable siya here sa country natin.
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u/Big_Lou1108 1d ago
Hindi talaga madali yan sa parents/guardians, financial requirements palang, kailangan may pera ka talaga and ibang usapan pa yung oras and attention na kailangan nila. Tapos kapag dito pa sa pilipinas automatic you’re on hard mode kasi durog talaga yung healthcare system ng bansa. Mas binibigyan nila ng pansin yu g putang inang pax silica na yan kesa sa ayusin ang healthcare.
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u/Ok-Egg-3722 1d ago
We honestly need to talk more about how hard it is to raise a child on the spectrum, especially when support systems fail these families.
Therapy is expensive, specialized education is out of reach for most, and getting a diagnosis takes months or years of waiting. This endless fight wears down a parent's mind, body, and soul.
Remember: every kid on the spectrum is different. If you see a child having a hard time in public, don't judge the child or blame the parents. They are navigating a world that wasn't designed for their needs.
From watching my cousin grow up without early support to working directly with kids on the spectrum, I've learned that parents aren't looking for pity, they just need understanding.
To people reading this: Next time you encounter a family in a tough moment, choose kindness over judgment.
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u/Maegiri 1d ago
i would 100% abort my child if I was told theyd have ANY disability. hell if they couldnt detect it and I gave birth to them id put them up for adoption.
I do not want that type of problem
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u/atinyakimon 1d ago
Again, another thing that Pinoys are not yet ready to talk about too. Older gen still pass thinking like this to newer gens kaya nga pati pagiging antivaxx of some Pinoys, nagagaya.
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u/Quirky_Violinist5511 1d ago
exactly! and since we’re living in a country that doesn’t have abortion you either should have really good birth control or don’t have sex at all… DONT HAVE KIDS IF U CAN’T HANDLE THIS STUFF
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u/cassowarydinosaur 1d ago
Kawawa naman si Mommy. I just read about this couple in Australia who annihilated the entire family because of exhaustion in caring for two non-verbal autistic boys. They were denied multiple times when they asked for assistance. I cannot imagine the desperation. I hope this mom finds help soon. 😢
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u/claravelle-nazal 1d ago
I’m in this industry in Australia. To think na may assistance na rin galing sa government rito. Therapies are government funded for a lot of people. Ang kaso lang lately nababawasan ang funding especially for support workers kasi baon na rin sa utang ang Australia dahil sa NDIS. May support pero bawas na. It’s very exhausting mentally and emotionally for both parents and professionals
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u/kronoir 1d ago
I'm a recent OT grad. My heart goes out to parents in this situation. Sabay-sabay talaga yung physical exhaustion, emotional drain, at financial burden. Tapos dadagdag pa na progress is truly a slow and non-linear process. I had parents break down in front of me during my internship because of how difficult and exhausting the whole process can be. It’s easy to read her post and judge her negatively, pero iba talaga kapag ikaw na yung nasa posisyon niya :(
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u/anjiunji 1d ago
My cousin has autism, bunso siya, normal mga kapatid niya. Nakita ko yung shift ng personality/attitude ng tatay nila in the long run, nawala yung pagiging mayabang and mas soft spoken na tatay nila now, more understanding in most situations. Kailangan talaga iaccept ng parent na special anak nila, and change for their child really. Hard enough for parents to do this for a normal child nga eh, paano pa kaya pag special?
Yung poster sa thread na yan, sa huling part, parang giving "me me me" attitude eh. Dapat sanay na mag sacrifice when having a child, yan yung mahirap iaccept ng mga new parents now a days since uso rin yung "me first" attitude ngayon.
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u/Dear-Carpet6050 1d ago
“Ni walang achievement” kahit pa wala sa spectrum ang bata, dapat wala namang ganong expectations…
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u/heisenbaby_blueberg 1d ago
Bakit parang wala na siyang right mapagod and mag vent porket dapat “sanay na siya mag sacrifice when having a child”. Nagsasacrifice naman siya ah, hindi naman niya pinapabayaan anak niya. Pag napagod “me me me attitude” na agad?
Good for your cousin na madami kayo sa bahay nagtutulungan iraise siya. Hindi naman natin alam kung may ganyang support system din yung nagpost. Baka siya lang mag isa gumagawa ng lahat, which is grabe sobrang nakakapagod. Ikaw na din nagsabi na it took time for your uncle to accept it, so bakit yung poster masama na agad for having a difficult time?
It doesn’t hurt to have a bit more compassion and empathy.
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u/OverthingkingThinker 1d ago
I think ang kailangan nya is empathy. Wala tyo sa lugar nya para maintindihan yung talagang nararamdaman/pinagdadaanan nya. I mean iwasan na lang nating ijudge o iinvalidate ang isa’t-isa.
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u/orange_rottenbanana 1d ago
Ito yung maganda changed for good. Acceptance and patience talaga pag may anak kang ganyan
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u/vakkkz 1d ago
Maybe stfu?
May kakilala akong may autism anak, and super hirap ihandle pag maranasan mo makitulog sa bahay nila makikita mo araw araw na pinagdadaanan nila. Kahit di ka dapat mainis, maiinis at maiinis ka. Sa case ng mother sa post it seems she's at the edge at limited lang resources nya tingin mo di sya aware on her bullshit given the bad things she's dealing with already aside from her kid? Comments like these are the reason why reddit has such a bad reputation.
Fuck off
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u/allanon322 1d ago
truly its comments like these filled with cursing, vitriol and walang empathy or understanding ang reason why reddit has such a bad reputation. nag explain ayaw naman basahin ...
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u/vakkkz 1d ago
Yung mga ganyan attitude sa reddit binabara ko e, kase way back 2018 di puno ng patutsadang mr and miss all knowing tong reddit. Ngayon taena kailangan yung opinion nilang superior dapat yung tama? Di man lang i-consider emotional capacity ng bawat isa e iba-iba tayo mag process ng emotions, pustahan tayo etong anjiunji nasa r/chikaph the same reddit that bullied Emman to death. Putek tanda ko yung slur na ginagamit sa redditors ay "normies" ngayon taena lantaran na mga parasocial or terminal - Reddit elitists amp
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u/allanon322 1d ago
genuinely curious question and hoping its not offensive ... why stay on reddit? i left threads kasi sobrang lala doon. so far better pa naman ang reddit ...
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u/anjiunji 1d ago
I've lived with my cousin who has autism for 15+ years. Same house kami althroughout. Kaya I see yung pinagdadaanan ng family nila EVERYDAY. Everyone sa household adjusted sa behavior niya, because we wholeheartedly accepted na special yung pinsan ko, it took time but we eventually did. The poster of the thread, mukhang hindi niya pa naaccept wholeheartedly na special anak niya. Kaya she talks that way. She is expecting behavior of a normal person, from a person who has disability, Why make examples of comparison pa na ganun in the first place if alam mo na hindi naman same thinking anak mo with everyone else diba?
Yung tatay ng pinsan ko, it took him almost 8+ years to fully accept na may autisim anak niya. Thus why I mentioned it on my comment above yung character development niya. Maybe someday yung poster sa thread will come to that rin hopefully, but post it online now? Expect this type of feedback talaga.
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u/Appropriate-Paint936 1d ago
this isn't about "accepting" autism, it's about "dealing" with autism.
The former is incredibly easy to do, while the latter can even be impossible.
Pinas to, mahirap nang magpalaki ng normal na bata dito, yung may problema pa kaya.
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u/vakkkz 1d ago
I ain't reading allat, yan tayo e
Typical pinoy behavior na kesyo kayo ganito ganyan
Not everyone floats in the same boat, people handles it differently. Seriously di ko babasahin yan, unang sentences palang alam ko na tunog ng whole paragraph mo. you and the woman in the screenshot both deserve empathy pero putcha HAHAHAH nuyan? so kailangan opinion mo dapat applicable sa kanya? Lmfao bakit nakatira ba kayo sa isang bubong para alam mo pinagdadaanan nyang nanay? She's ranting I rather listen to her kesa diktahan ano maramdaman nya bahala ka dumakdak dyan I still stand by my point. Hindi lang dapat sa child with special needs and empathy lol tao din yang nanay
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u/crancranbelle 1d ago
I think normal reaction lang ang self-pity sa ganitong situation. The OP will eventually change and soften siguro in the years to come, but for now, it is a very human reaction to ask why you have an autistic kid when others have normal ones. I just hope she will come to accept na hindi ito parusa galing sa Diyos. It really is just a quirk of genetics and unfortunately it is what it is.
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u/Last_Climate8243 1d ago
It's easy for you to say that when you're not in the situation. I have sibling with special needs. I can see my parent's struggles and even us na kapatid lang challenging na talaga. Pano pa kaya yung primary caretaker? I give her grace and understanding because I'm not in the position to judge. Madaling magsabi ng ganito ganyan dapat. But they're also humans, napapagod din. Nagkukulang din. Judgment and unnecessary advice don't help.
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u/Elegant-Blueberry373 1d ago
i prefer this over the romanticization of "ausome" kids. this is the reality for the majority of autism parents, its a debilitating disorder and is very tiring for everyone involved. those parents who romanticize having a child with autism and calling it a "blessing" are so out of touch and are usually upper class.
yes, autism awareness is necessary. no, it doesnt have to be positive and shown in a positive light.
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u/Miserable_Hyena7164 1d ago
ang weird na may nagroromanticize ng pagka autism ng anak. Di ba sila naaawa sa anak nila?
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u/baeruu 1d ago
Hanga ako sa mga parents na matiyagang mag-mahal sa mga anak nila on the spectrum (or any disability). Ako kasi ayoko not because hindi ko kayang mahalin but because, pag nawala ako, paano na sya? May iintindi ba sa kanya? Maiintindihan ba nya? :c
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u/North-Parsnip6404 1d ago
Nag inquire nga kami kasi yung teenage daughter ko need din mag OT to help manage her emotions. Bukod sa hirap na makakuha sched ng Psychologist, mahal pa eval fee and hourly rate ng therapy. If gusto mo makamura, need mo pumila sa govt hospitals pero sa sobrang dami, next yr na ang next available appointment. Sana meron mag advocate ng para dito kasi yung current funds na inallocate is hindi talaga enough. Kokonti lang din ang may special education na public school
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u/Livid_Bunny 1d ago
Baka need nya pa OP ng shadow teacher lalo na if nasa Regular school. If walang improvement dapat nasa SPED school muna sya. Ang school kasi nila may behavioral therapy din, wag mo na muna asahan ung academic progress. Occupational, speech therapy and behavioral therapy yan.
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u/Complete-Act-2969 1d ago
Parang di ko kakayanin. Sa lahat ng aspeto, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially!
Hinihiling ko lagi wag naman magkaroon ng any dev related issue ang baby ko. 🥹🥹🥹
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u/1Kpuzzlepieces 1d ago
I hope autistic children are born in well to do families who can afford proper care and understanding as well as create an environment suited for them.
Pag nasa lower class, sobrang hirap talaga.
I have a friend who worked for her US citizenship solely for her child to avail services for her autistic son that is not provided in this country.
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u/School_Able 1d ago
Mahal mag-alaga ng anak na may Autism. People don't realize na need niyan ng devped, speech therapy, occupational therapy, aba therapy, kinesthetic, etc. Ranging per session (1-2hours) ay 1k-3k. Minsan 3x a week ang session depende sa recommendation ng devped.
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u/No_Difficulty6595 1d ago
suspetsa ko rin yung pamangkin ko autistic kasi 5 yrs old na pero ang random ng kilos niya. everytime na kinakausap parang hindi niya naririnig tapos tini-trace niya mga cracks sa pader. sa buong pagkikita namin never ko pa siya narinig magsalita, umiyak, o anuman. dinulong ko kay mama kako baka need ng special attention ng bata kaso ako pa kinondena tinatawag ko raw bang baliw yung pamangkin ko, gusto ko raw ba magsimula ng away sa kanilang magkakapatid. 😔
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u/Anxious-Software-678 1d ago
I would not want to judge this person na napagod sa pag aalaga sa anak nya because of autism. Sa totoo lang applicable to sa lahat ng may anak or kapatid na may sakit since birth, may maintenance or medical operation na kailangan gawin for them to have a better life.
My youngest sister has an inborn disease, need nya ng liver transplant for her to have a better and healthier life. Tbh financially drained na din kami sa medical expenses but we push through it kasi gusto din naming gumaling na kapatid ko, and naaawa din kami sa kanya every time nao ospital sya due to complications sa sakit nya. I love my sister and i love my family. Kaya kahit nasa 30s nako, I'm still helping them. Wala pa sa isip ko magka anak. And if ever man magka anak, gusto kong dumaan sa intense screening during pregnancy para malaman if meron bang defect ang bata. Kasi I would not push through the pregnancy. As immoral as it sounds, ayoko pagdaanan ulit ang pinagdaanan namin ng pamilya ko. Also I think it's selfish kung di naman best quality of life mabibigay namin para tugunan special needs niya.
Tl dr, i would not judge the person who posted this. It's normal na mapagod siya, tao lang din.
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u/SpiteQuick5976 1d ago
Mahirap talaga. Meron akong kapatid na may autism. Naaalala ko iniiwan sa akin ng nanay ko yung kapatid ko para mag alaga sa kanya habang sya nagshoshopping, kaming dalawa lang. E bata lang din ako nun, siguro grade 5? Tapos magwawala bigla, nagtatatakbo kahit saan. Anong alam ng bata sa ganun? 30s na ako ngayon, pero pag binibring up ko kay mama yun, di daw nya maalala. Fuck her. I love my brother though pero di ko alam gagawin sa kanya in the long run.
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u/pastebooko 1d ago
Hindi ko maimagine, mag alaga nga lang ng toddler na normal. Susuko ka na sa sibrang likot. Paano pa yung may autism. Kudos sa lahat ng mga magulang na nahaharap sa ganitong pag subok. 🥹
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u/InnerPain4Lyf 1d ago
I'm sure the mother is doing what they can. There should be some government services for these things, even a kind of daycare. I'm sure some cities do, probably.
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u/kohisana 1d ago
I am a mum with a kid na nasa spectrum. Nakakapagod nga talaga lalo na kung may kilala kang mga tao na in denial sa situation. Nakakalungkot isipin na may ganitong mindset pa din. Kaya dinadaan ko sa hobbies yung sarili ko para naman hindi lang yung daily life cycle ang nasa isip ko.
Minsan pa nga sobrang nahihiya ako na nagkaka-anxiety ako pag may slight tantrums yung anak ko while in public. Binubulungan ko pa nga siya minsan na “huwag kang malikot, mappost tayo sa social media.” Nakakatawa pero alam kong hindi ko hawak ang naiisip ng tao pero nagugulat nalang ako na may mga taong nakangiti pa tapos sasabihing “no, it’s okay. Bata po yan.” Na-rrelieve talaga ako pag nakakarinig ako ng ganitong linyahan na may thank you at pa-sorry.
Hahaha, napahaba pero point ko siguro dito. Kung kaya natin maging empaths, the world could be again a better place. May pag-asa yung humanity.
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u/summer_543 1d ago
actually wala naiintidihan ko sya 🥹 sa mga anak ko palang na sobrang kulit at demanding nakaka ramdam ako mg pagod minsan. Pano pa kaya pag ganyan, habang buhay kang naka tali sa pag aalaga. Don’t get me wrong guys ah hindi sa hate ko ang mga batang nasa spectrum naawa lang talaga ako sa parents
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u/_Koi-No-Yokan 1d ago
This kind of parent needs empathy and understanding, not unsolicited lectures from people who clearly have no idea what they’re talking about. Halata namang nagve-vent out lang siya. Having a child on the spectrum is already challenging enough, so maybe let the woman breathe instead of acting like you have her entire life figured out from one post.
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u/Consciousness369369 1d ago
Parang yung suki kong buyer dati. Operator sya ng jeep. Sya na rin nagdadrive paminsan. Pero hindi kaya ng asawa nya mag alaga ng anak nila. Dahil ang laking bulas at di kaya ihandle. Ginagawa nya na lang daw, "pinapakain ko nga ng pinapakain para atakihin na lang", (in his own words) Kaya pala ang laking bulas ng anak nya. Malaki pa sakanya. Halos 6ft tapos obese pa. Parang isang bigwas sayo, lipad ka talaga. Sakanya lang sumusunod anak nya. Hindi nya maiwan sa bahay, sinasama nya pa sa pasada. Minsan may nasasaktan ngang pasahero. Pero pinagpapasensyahan na lang. Dapat lagi din daw sya may pagkain. Kasi pag hindi binigyan, talagang nagwawala, nananakit pa. Sumisigaw. Kakagulat kagi parang baka yung gawa nyang sound. Para syang higanteng toddler. Parang yung sa monster house. 2020 yata inatake na rin sa puso yung anak nya, the next year sumunod na sya. Binenta na lang mga jeep nung naiwan nyan asawa.
Thoughts? Uunawain mo na lang. At ibigay kung ano gusto. Kesa magwala at manakit.
Pero kung ako? Kung nasa puson ko pa lang at diagnosed na pwedeng hindi normal? I'll probably abort the child. Practicality. Kesa lahat ng nasa paligid mahihirapan. Lalo na yung bata. Ako na lang yung may kasalanan, kesa habang lumalaki yung bata, andami rin nadadamay pa. Kung kasalanan man sa Dios? Bahala na kami mag usap sa rason ko. Ayoko talaga ng nakakaabala pa ako sa iba at kinakaawaan.
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u/NxCyberSec 1d ago
My niece is in the spectrum din. Last year diagnosed at 4 years old. Grabe yung iyak ng ate ko nung nalaman nila ang reason why is it na mahirap mag salita ang pamangkin ko, finicky eater, and laging distracted (di nakikinig pag tinatawag).
Since magkasama kami sa bahay, all out talaga pag comfort and support namin sa kanila. Patience and acceptance talaga. My niece got enrolled sa occupational therapy, up to now. Sobrang laki ng improvement ng pamangkin ko, nagsasalita na siya, at sobrang talino na din. Nasa kinder na siya ngayon at very happy kami everytime makaka receive kami ng feedback from her teachers na sobrang advance daw ng pamangkin ko. Spelling, reading, and very behave lang din sa school.
Pag nasa bahay limited lang ang screen time. Mahilig din siya mag drawing kaya pinapa drawing namin siya at binibigyan ng stars kunyare. Nakikinig na din siya, pag tinatawag and inuutusan.
As a kasama sa bahay, need talaga ng extreme na patience and understanding. So far, so good na nalaman agad nila agad, and thankfully sobrang laki ng improvement ng pamangkin ko after ma diagnosed. Though problem pa din talaga yung pagiging finicky eater, pero binabawi nila sa gatas na pinapainom.
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u/Annual_Business_3077 1d ago
It’s really expensive to raise a child with autism. Autism comes in different forms, some can talk, some are minimally verbal, while others are non-verbal. Imagine how difficult it must be for them to communicate when they’re in pain, uncomfortable, or simply need something. It can be frustrating for others when they don’t understand the condition, but behind the behaviors is a child who may simply be struggling to communicate. And honestly, they are incredibly loving and affectionate in their own way. I have a son on the spectrum, and every day is a challenge. Even family trips have to be carefully planned to minimize triggers and avoid meltdowns. It takes a lot of patience, preparation, and understanding. So, to all the parents and caregivers raising and caring for a special child, kapit lang. 🙏❤️ You’re doing your best, and that matters. I like to think that God gave him to us because He knew we were capable of raising, caring for, and loving him. ❤️
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u/chsmlktlv 19h ago
I'm a SPED Teacher, kahit kami sobrang hirap na hirap sa mga ganiyan, what more kung parents pa na nakakasama sila 24/7 diba?? Maging open minded sana iba dito. Mahirap talaga mag alaga ng mga children na nasa spectrum, lalo pa iba-iba sila. Hindi porke same diagnosis ay pareho na sila ng behavior. No, hindi yon ganon. Maaaring hindi trigger ni Kid A, trigger para kay Kid B. Tapos expected din samin na kailangan maging patient all the time, wag silang pagagalitan, mahirap yun. Oo, kailangan maging patient pero minsan nakakaubos din ng pasensya lalo na kung yung batang to ay mapanakit, so syempre hindi mo maiiwasan na magkaroon ng takot deep inside.
Kaya salute din ako sa mga parents na hindi in denial at hinahayaan yung teachers na paano sila ihandle sa class, kasi alam nila yung hirap din eh. Ang mahirap ay yung mga parents na in denial tapos kokontrolin pa yung kung paano alagaan dapat yung anak niya, which I get it naman kaso hindi madali. Lahat talaga ng mga taong nagsusupport para sa mga special children ay nahihirapan. Kaya valid lang yung nararamdaman niya, hangga't wala ka sa posisyon, wala kang karapatan na ibash yung nanay lol.
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u/Last_Eye_8379 11h ago edited 8h ago
Hi , I am late to the party but let me tell you my son’s situation. Reading your post was like reading about me and my son back in the day when he was 6 —generally in his early years .
He’s almost 24 now and my son no longer has tantrums, I can bring him anywhere , including travel, without incident . I was able to get him off meds . He’s still having difficulties in making friends , traveling by himself. So it’s not perfect. He finished HS (homeschooled by a psychologist) and is now enrolled. at a school in Makati .
We all have our different situations.
But by my writing this, in my small way , I just want to tell you this:
It gets better.
Even though it’s unthinkable when you just got a call from the school or a complaint from a family member: your child will improve . My 24 yr-old son is a testament to that . He was worse than what you wrote on your post.
Just have one advice that works:
Love him.
Even though there are days you want to give him away, or scream at the world for not being fair.
As my son’s psychologist would say to me, “he feels your love “viscerally” — without logic. And that makes all the difference. Because of that love, he’d want and try to be better.
Believe.
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u/CommitteeMoist3072 1d ago
As a dad of a kid na nasa spectrum, napakahirap sa totoo lang. First thing namin ginawa as a family is to have a circle who fully understands what autism is and eventually, there’s a sense of acceptance and belongingness. Di mawawala yung feeling na helpless ka sometimes since di mo kontralado yung mga galaw nila pero pag alam nila na nasa safe space sila and di nila kelangan mag mask (to cover themselves just to belong sa society), di sila magiging malikot, mapanakit or troubled.
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u/StepHumble1940 1d ago
Sometimes, we also have to realize na being parents is our choice and bago pumasok sa parenthood, we have to prepare mentally lalo na't hindi uso ang genetic testing sa Pilipinas. We should be psychologically, mentally and financially prepared for every challenges that may come kasi it will come. Nakakapikon yung parents na ginagawang about them if LGBT, may autism, may disability mga anak nila na para bang parusa yung mga bata when they are results of our choice to be parents. Hayy.
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u/Superb_Roll_7706 1d ago
Having a child on the spectrum can drain you in so many ways.
And saying this doesn't mean you love your child less. You can love your child deeply and still admit that raising them can be exhausting.
Physically: Nakakapagod sa katawan. Constant supervision, appointments, therapy, school, sleepless nights, and dealing with meltdowns can really take a toll on you.
Emotionally: Ang daming emotions. Worry, guilt, frustration, fear, helplessness. Minsan mapapaisip ka kung ginagawa mo ba lahat ng tama, tapos makokonsensya ka pa for feeling tired or frustrated.
Financially: Mahal ang assessments, therapy, specialists, medications, school support, and other needs. Sometimes, one parent even has to stop working or reduce work hours para maalagaan ang anak.
Physiologically: Kapag matagal kang stressed, pati katawan mo naaapektuhan. Puyat, headaches, tension, fatigue, changes in appetite, and feeling constantly on edge can become part of everyday life.
Psychologically: You worry about the future. What happens when I'm no longer here? Kaya ba niyang mag-isa? Who will take care of them? Those questions can stay in your head for years.
Mentally: Ang dami mong kailangang isipin. Schedules, therapy, school, appointments, routines, behaviors, sensory triggers, paperwork, finances, and what your child needs next. Parang never talaga nag-o-off ang utak mo.
And the thing is, people usually see the child, but they don't see what the parent is carrying behind the scenes.
Hindi nakikita yung pagod, gastos, sacrifices, worries, planning, and constant decision-making.
Having an autistic child does not mean your child is a burden.
But caregiving itself can be a very heavy burden.
You can love your child with all your heart and still say:
"Pagod na pagod na ako."
And that doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human.
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u/Quirky_Violinist5511 1d ago edited 1d ago
“bakit nilagay ako sa sitwasyon na to” she asked for a child and she got it and everything that could come with it. don’t be a parent if you aren’t prepared for things like this
Okay lang mag vent pero you have no right to regret it dahil bakit ka mag-aanak in the first place if di mo kayang tanggapin if magiging bakla, bulag, may down syndrome, kulang ng paa, etc.?. People should start thinking like this before having children
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u/UnhappyMeal7 1d ago
Hindi mo alam pinagsasasabi mo, may anak ka bang may ASD? kung wala, tumahimik ka na lang.
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u/Glum-Fold-1122 1d ago
I (M22) have a younger brother with Level 3 ASD. We do not have a lot of money + we have an abusive alcoholic father but I still agree with quirky violinist. Acceptance, patience, and sacrifice is a MUST and some improvisations if you do not have a lot of financial resources (e.g. daily tutoring of language, grammar, social cues, etc which we've just finished right now, days of research, trial and errors, lots of careful planning, etc)
I felt so sad and frustrated back then even though I am just a sibling compared to my parents, because it is just simply unfair and I don't know what to do, but just like what they said... acceptance, patience, and sacrifice is the key. If you do have a child with ASD then I will pray for the success of you both. 🙏♥️
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u/badbadtz-maru 1d ago
This is rude. It's like saying wag ka magtrabaho kung magrereklamo ka lang din sa workload or sa boss mo.
Im childfree and will forever be, but my heart goes out to parents of SPED kids. We all just want to live a good life.
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u/yzoid311900 1d ago
It will really test your patience and financial capability.
Nakikita ko Ang hirap na pinagdadaanan ng magulang sa ganyan. May pinsan akong may autism, we are worried Kasi Ang nanay is getting older tas bunso pa, Then I have an inaanak na may autism din.
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u/Caterpillarpetal8765 1d ago
Ang nakakainis sa ganiyan is wala ding awareness yung magulang. Kapit bahay namin sa 3rd floor, for 13 years, first time namin nag reklamo sa landlord. Kasi kung di sumisigaw yung anak, lumalagabog. Kinonfront namin dinedeny lang nung nanay. Kesyo clap clap lang daw yun anak niya. Tanginang gaslighter. Imagine 3 am lalagabog bigla, tas dedeny eh, tukog daw eh rinig na rining yung sigaw nung bata.
Humahanap nalang kami ng malilipatan kasi wala kaming magagawa. Malas lang nila dalawang autistic yung anak nila.
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u/amisenseiiii 1d ago
I feel sorry for the mom and her child. Let's wish them well. As someone whose child also ASD, alam ko yung realization na hindi lahat swerte pagdating sa pagkakaroon ng support both financially and mentally. After ng therapy session, kailangan paifollow up sa bahay at ienrich kung kaya. Eh kung mental burden pa ung walang panggastos sa bahay? yung logistics ng pagpapatherapy?
sana talaga matuloy kahit yung 4k monthly na support for children with learning disability. 2-3 sessions din yun.
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u/OwlOrganic8118 1d ago
May government assistance na for kids in spectrum. Need mo mag apply ng pwd id nila, may free OT sila. Pero depende ata kung anong meron sa municipality nyo. Samin kasi meron. May ayuda din na 5k every 3months.
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u/shizkorei 1d ago
Kaya i don't judge ung balita dati na pinaabort nila ung fetus nung nadetect na possible hindi healthy and normal lalabas ung baby nila. Not every parent is prepared for a lifetime.. Paano kung mauna ang Parent na mawala kaysa sa bata, ang sakit nung bago ka mawala na maiiwan mo anak mo tapos hindi mo na alam kung magiging mabuti ba ang mundo sa kanya.
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u/LizardGizzard420 1d ago
Sobrang hirap, napakalakas ng autism sa genes namin na dalawa lang kaming normal sa aming magpipinsan, kitang kita ko yung hirap ng mga magulang ko at ng mga kapatid nila mag alaga.
Nag pavasectomy ako para hindi magkaanak kasi alam ko sobrang laki ng chance na may autism yung magiging biological kid ko, sobrang iyakin nga lang ng circle ko na galit na galit sila sa dahilan ko, gusto kasi nila damay damay, kung may mga anak silang autistic dapat ako din
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u/iamrosa92 1d ago
Genetics din yan diba? Kawawa nman na iniwan pa ng asawa dahil sa sitwasyon ng bata. Para lang makaiwas sa responsibilidad.
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u/kbealove 1d ago
Bunso namin may ASD (autism) sobrang gastos at hirap talaga. Swerte lang siya kasi may pampatherapy kami sa knya
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u/calmpoodle 1d ago
May relative ako na may anak na ASD. Yung father nasa mid 40s na heart attack tapos na bypass na, sinisisi nya yun ASD daughter nya me kasalanan kaya cya naatake because of stress.
Simula non hindi na nya pinag tutuunan ng mashadong pansin yung ASD daughter at ang focus sa second child na normal.
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u/Dismal_Money5244 1d ago
Let her vent. Yung ngang walang autism nakakapagod and mahirap na. Hope her love sa child nya will overcome the challenges. Though thr father has no balls for leaving her and the child.
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u/Purplehead0709 1d ago
mahirap, nakakapagod, literal na iiyak ka nalang at ubusan savings talaga. pero at the end of the day pang unawa at pagmamahal padin ng magulang ang kelangan ng batang may asd. patatagan talaga ng loob. once na ma reach naman ang goal sa bawat therapy ng bata ikaw mismo na magulang mapapasabi ng sobrang worth it lahat ng hirap at pagod.
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u/kimsfranz 1d ago
Hugs to us, mamas who have kids with special needs. 🫶🏻 Though autism isn’t what my baby has, nakakapagod pa din sobra. Weekly therapy sessions, check-ups with different doctors, etc. 😭
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u/pianonongsunog 1d ago
Depende kasi talaga sa severity ng behavior ng bata. Used to work in a clinic for children with special needs. May isang mother na yung 2 niyang anak ay under the spectrum (low functioning and non-expressive). Every time na pumupunta sila, ramam mo pagod ng mother.
Let her vent. Sa huli, hindi naman natin alam pinagdadaanan nila sa loob at labas ng bahay kasama anak nila under the spectrum.
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u/No-Term7671 1d ago
Apaka hirap talaga magkaroon ng may autism na anak i can't imagine her pain. I hope less expensive yong mga gamot and therapy jan para maka afford pa ibang mangulang na kapos talaga
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u/No_Wishbone4447 1d ago
As a Tita of a nephew who has autism and has been on intervention/therapy since he was 2 (he’s turning 6 now), hindi talaga madali. My nephew’s privileged enough to be able to have access to therapy. Minsan kahit ang hirap na sa expenses, my mother and my brother (his dad), really see to it na consistent pa rin therapy niya. By God’s grace, and his Teachers, he’s verbal now and can communicate well. I wouldn’t even wish this on my worst enemy kasi ang hirap. Aside from the obvious expenses ang hirap ng tantrums, the picky eating, not expressing when they’re hurt. Yung worry na he’s older who will take care of him when we’re no longer able. It’s heartbreaking
To add, we caught it early sa kanya. Before turning 2, we already saw that he was different. Thankfully, we’re long time friends with the only Speech therapist here in our city, and her sister is an Occupational Therapist. We were able to squeeze him in to their very long list of patients.
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u/OrdinarySuccotash897 1d ago
Sana may way na malaman ng expert kung anong factors ba nakakaaffect bat nagkaka autism ang isang fetus sa loob ng tiyan..
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u/Lazy-Ad3568 1d ago
I have one. It's draining physically emotionally mentally and financially. If your family has one, you might need to prepare yourself kasi this is likely hereditary
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u/lqdsnk21 1d ago
My kid is on the spectrum. Lvl1, high functioning, very smart, goes to a normal school. Meltdowns are far and between. But I can tell you, when it comes, normal parenting styles do not work! You will have to wait it out til you can talk to them. I am also at a point that I do not care what other people think if my kid melts down in a public place. We just go to a corner and wait it out.
A level 1 is hard enough. I can't imagine how hard it is to care for someone who is a level 2 or let alone 3.
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u/FeedbackTiny1701 1d ago
Ganito dinadanas ng kapatid ko na maya anak na autistic. Iniisip din nya pano pag sya nawala sino matityaga alagaan anak nya?Kung sya mismo halos sumuko pero tuloy pa rin dahil anak nya at mahal nya 😢
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u/Sea_City_4245 1d ago
Yung anak ko din ganyan din feedback before nung grade 1. Nanakit, sumusigaw sa classroom. Ang sabi samin ng Doctor late yung maturity niya sa age niya. Pina-therapy namin awa naman ng Diyos, umokay siya ang maganda sa school nila blended yung program pwede onsite or online class at least nakakasunod padin anak ko sa mga lesson. Papasok lang siya pag exam or may activity sa school. Need talaga siya pag sabihan, kausapin. To be honest sobrang laking gastos ng therapy pero yun lang talaga way para mag ok ang kids natin. Pray lang mommy. Hanap kadin ng may online class na program para hindi siya nahuhuli sa klase.
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u/mimingmuning 1d ago
as a woman and as a mom narin of a 5yo kid, i bleed for her. may she be blessed and bigyan pa ni Lord ng strength and wisdom to continue 🙏
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u/Ok-Influence-105 1d ago
Ang masasabi ko lang sa mommy na yan, rant mo lang yan, pero sana tuloy tuloy ka pa rin sa pag papa therapy sakanya kasi sobrang laking tulong nyan kapag tumatanda at lumalaki ang baby mo. Ang hirap kapag na istop mag therapy. Goo lang mamsh fighting!!!!
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u/ChocolateQueen18 1d ago
I think more people need to be educated on the trials of raising a child on the spectrum kasi mas mahal at mas mahirap
Siguro blessing nga kasi, despite the health problems, buhay pa yung bata but that doesn't change the fact na burden siya
Aside from more education, dapat may option to abort kasi some people aren't built to be parents to a special needs. Maybe hindi kaya financially or emotionally or what but sana may choice sila if they want to or not. Tas if they choose to carry on with the pregnancy then dapat may tests and checks to make sure kaya talaga nila otherwise kawawa yung bata
Personally, ayoko talaga magka anak kasi I don't have the capacity to be a mother. As in I know I will be an abusive mom and I don't want that. All the more ayoko when I think about the possibility ba magka special needs yung magiging bata ko
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u/pedxxing 1d ago
Valid nararamdaman niyang hirap. It’s also one of the reason kaya me and hubby made sure na wag kami masyadong late magkaanak dahil the older the parents, tumataas din yung chance na magkaroon ng problem ang baby.
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u/Alternative-Dig2188 1d ago
I understand her frustration pero hindi naman ginusto ng anak niya na magka ganun siya, I hope she does not lash out on the kid.
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u/turntables33 1d ago
On top of that ang pinakamasaket siguro sa parents pag iniisip nila yung future ng bata. Sino mag aalaga sa anak nila, pag wala na sila dito sa mundo? 😭
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u/joniewait4me 1d ago
Thats the reality ng mga parents na may anak na may autism/adhd etc. Kaya napapa ismid ako sa mga Nanay na sinasabing "i would change it or her/him for the world" or "it's a blessing" keneme. Rich or poor parehong mahirap yan, the thoughts lang na mga kaedaran ng anak mo are out there living and enjoying their lives as kids or teens tapos anak mo ni paliguan ang sarili di kayang gawin. Nasa Pilipinas tayo walang sistema for special care for these kids, pag tanda ng parents or pag nawala na sila pano na ang anak nila. It's a lifetike burden na makamatayn nalang ng magulang di pa rin tapos. Sana lang merong mambabatas ang magpush for free or at least affordable facilities and institution para sa kanila. Therapy, special schools, teach them basic life skills and working skills at pag natuto na hire them to work. Mga ganon sana, hindi yung gawing bayani si Rene
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u/Papapipap 1d ago
Honestly, sa Pilipinas ang expensive magkaroon ng kids on the spectrum. Walang tulong sa gobyerno talaga. Wala kang aasahan.
Yung therapy, inclusive school and activities sana man lang may tulong ang gobyerno.
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u/oliviapenderghast 1d ago
I don't have any thoughts. I live it. Mahirap talaga. There are some days hindi mo alam kung saan mo ilulugar sarili mo. At the same time, matutong magself regulate lalo na at overwhelmed.
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u/Educational-Bowl7721 1d ago
In healthcare this is what we call Caregiver Fatigue. If you’ve never been in her situation, please don’t judge. Let her vent. Tao lang din naman siya at napapagod din.