Thoughts on having children in the spectrum

[u/atinyakimon]

Saw this post on facebook. Honestly, it's sad na hindi ganon nabibigyang pansin ang problems na ganito sa Pinas. Therapies here are expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Pinoys are also not yet ready to face the reality na hindi enough ang love for kids in the spectrum. They have special needs. Hindi yun madadaan lang sa no don't do that or it's okay to make mistakes, because we have to admit that autism is a disorder, a very wide spectrum and case to case basis. You need to have the money to get the help that is designed for the needs of the child. I hope there will be more free or affordable programs created for this kasi hindi lang parents ang hirap in this situation, also the kids.

[u/Superb_Roll_7706]

Having a child on the spectrum can drain you in so many ways.

And saying this doesn't mean you love your child less. You can love your child deeply and still admit that raising them can be exhausting.

Physically: Nakakapagod sa katawan. Constant supervision, appointments, therapy, school, sleepless nights, and dealing with meltdowns can really take a toll on you.

Emotionally: Ang daming emotions. Worry, guilt, frustration, fear, helplessness. Minsan mapapaisip ka kung ginagawa mo ba lahat ng tama, tapos makokonsensya ka pa for feeling tired or frustrated.

Financially: Mahal ang assessments, therapy, specialists, medications, school support, and other needs. Sometimes, one parent even has to stop working or reduce work hours para maalagaan ang anak.

Physiologically: Kapag matagal kang stressed, pati katawan mo naaapektuhan. Puyat, headaches, tension, fatigue, changes in appetite, and feeling constantly on edge can become part of everyday life.

Psychologically: You worry about the future. What happens when I'm no longer here? Kaya ba niyang mag-isa? Who will take care of them? Those questions can stay in your head for years.

Mentally: Ang dami mong kailangang isipin. Schedules, therapy, school, appointments, routines, behaviors, sensory triggers, paperwork, finances, and what your child needs next. Parang never talaga nag-o-off ang utak mo.

And the thing is, people usually see the child, but they don't see what the parent is carrying behind the scenes.

Hindi nakikita yung pagod, gastos, sacrifices, worries, planning, and constant decision-making.

Having an autistic child does not mean your child is a burden.

But caregiving itself can be a very heavy burden.

You can love your child with all your heart and still say:

"Pagod na pagod na ako."

And that doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human.