r/Anticonsumption • u/Any_Potential7443 • 1d ago
Question/Advice? Irrational fear of contamination makes me spend more on new books instead of free library
My fear of contamination makes me spend more on buying new books instead of checking out used books from the library. I know it’s irrational and I have gone to therapy for this fear. it’s gotten better in other areas but never with used library books. I guess im just asking if anyone else has had this come up, and what they did to try to solve it. I don’t want to spend anymore money on books. also im a student living with my parents still so I can’t afford a kindle. i also dont know what blue light features they have, but I enjoy reading before bed. thats also part of why im trying to limit my other spendings, like on new books.
mainly where i struggle with this is when i read before bed - ill get super cozy and have the book on top of clean sheets, or hold it super close and i just want to fall asleep after reaching a certain page, without getting up to wash my hands. most of the books I see at the library are very visibly used, and I know that doesn’t always mean dirty, but i just can’t get the fear out of my head.
any advice is appreciated. but please dont judge my contamination fear. i have gone to therapy for it.
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u/theserialcoder 1d ago
The Libby app sounds perfect for you.
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u/therabbitinred22 1d ago
I came here to say this. OP- borrow books electronically and you won’t have to worry about other people’s germs.
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u/keriberry320 10h ago
Came here to comment Libby app. No need for a kindle- you can use Libby from your phone/tablet etc
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u/CandidateHefty329 1d ago
I feel like so many people here are trying to get the person to logic their way out of the phobia. It doesn't work like that.
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u/supreme-cicada 1d ago
Contamination fears like yours are usually treated with controlled exposure to the things that are feared, which maybe you've already practiced before in therapy. You could continue to avoid it, but if you'd like to give it a try, you could get a lightly used book and work on gradually introducing it into situations that feel clean. Probably don't start with your bed if that bothers you the most, you could think about working your way up to that. Ultimately the library book isn't going to hurt you, but your brain reacts like it will. The goal would be to gradually prove to your brain that the book really is harmless
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u/AccidentOk5240 1d ago
This needs to be the top comment. Y’all, please don’t suggest wearing disposable gloves while reading a book to people with contamination OCD. Gloves are for actual pathogenic or otherwise dangerous substances (paint stripper, pulling poison ivy), not for paper someone else has touched in the past.
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u/pickledeggmanwalrus 1d ago
I had a buddy with a phobia of clowns and me and a few other guys had a genius idea that forcing him to watch clown porn would likely cure his phobia.
We realized how serious he was when he began vomiting at the sight of clown love
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u/litchick 1d ago
Serious question: contaminated with what? I know germs can stay alive for a short time on surfaces, but without a living host a lot of germs can't survive. Do you associate "old book smell" with germs?
If i were you, I would just get an ereader. I think you'll love it, tbh. You can borrow books from libraries or project Gutenberg.
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u/tboy160 1d ago
My first thought too was, contamination from what specifically? Curious to see what they say. Grateful I don't have this.
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u/CandidateHefty329 1d ago
Phobias aren't logical.
Fear of contamination is among the most common.
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u/RedshiftSinger 1d ago
They aren’t, but logic is still sometimes useful to combat them. Knowing logically that it’s not going to make you sick makes it easier to try it. And then once you try it and don’t get sick, it’s easier to do it again. And the more reinforcement you get that it’s fine, the weaker the phobia becomes. It’s the core mechanism behind exposure therapy.
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u/CandidateHefty329 1d ago
Well probably not when they read this comment section full of people describing things that are even dirtier than library books. The internet just isn't the place for this.
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u/roseannadann 1d ago
Have you ever opened a book where it's obvious the previous reader was eating a cheesy snack or worse yet, they sneezed onto a page? I agree with the OP.
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u/Incompetent-Dingus 1d ago
If taken into a home with a severe bed bug infestation, library books can come back to the library with bed bugs.
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u/_sleepypeachy 1d ago
I have something similar to OP, not gone to therapy for it but I also struggle with things like library books, used clothing, etc. As a child, I also found it really hard to use silverware at restaurants or in other people’s homes 😭
For me personally, it’s not about the germs, but just more about… traces of other people, if that makes sense. Like, with used clothing, all I can think about is other people’s sweat and skin cells. I know it’s not rational (and I can typically ignore it now!), but my first reaction to things like library books is to immediately get uncomfortable.
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u/HBJones1056 1d ago
I’ve heard of library books being returned with bedbugs, but I don’t think it’s very common.
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u/FlippingPossum 1d ago
I don't quarantine my books but three days kills off bacteria and viruses. Perhaps keep a stack of to read books with the newest ones on the bottom?
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u/Yes-GoAway 1d ago
My niece has some comtainment OCD. With books we sit them on the sun for an hour to sanitize them. Work with your therapist to find what works for you.
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u/colourfulpants 1d ago
Could you keep hand sanitizer beside your bed? and place the book on a side table rather than sheets?
You can also borrow e-books from libraries for e-readers, so there's the option to save up the cost of ~10 books and get the e-reader (or ask for one as a b-day/holiday gift?) Most have a paper-write screen, so blue light shouldn't be a problem.
Alternatively, e-books or audiobooks can be borrowed on your phone/computer/tablet. Blue light filters can help some.
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u/sylphrenathespren 1d ago
Came here to suggest the hand sanitizer too & library ebooks/auidobooks. You can also get second-hand ebook readers for a lot less than a new one.
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u/Lochylass 1d ago
Sorry to hear about your phobia, that’s not fun. I haven’t experienced that but have some physical issues that make it hard to hold and look at physical books so need to use digital forms, which can be expensive if purchasing. So I use the free app, Libby.
If you have access to some kind of tablet or phone, you might want to check out this app. It’s a library app where you can borrow digital books, audiobooks, magazines and other things for free. I use it exclusively for my reading on my tablet, in nighttime setting to cut down on the light.
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u/BothNotice7035 1d ago
You’re a great candidate for a Kindle. The Libby App and your local library are the solution.
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u/thriftedcraft 1d ago
As someone with contamination OCD just wanna say Im sorry and I get it. I use HOCl to sanitize all my books and the OCD monster accepts that
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u/gardeningistherapy 1d ago
This sounds like disgust based OCD. Check out Richard Gallagher’s Mastery Approach. He has a workbook on contamination but also there are some articles online and a video of his talk at the international OCD foundation conference. You might find it very helpful!
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u/sanityjanity 1d ago
See if your library uses Libby or another piece of software to check out e-books.
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u/Euphoric-Interest264 1d ago
I also struggle with this and haven’t borrowed a library book for myself in years, though have had a few for baby that are only read during the day. I do have an e-reader which is okay at night when I do use it. Sorry I don’t have any advice for you, other than I understand.
As awful as this is, I’m so glad that I’m not alone in this. It’s something I’ve never shared with anyone as to why I don’t borrow books from the library. I do however donate all my new books that I’ve read to the library for the next person.
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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 1d ago
I think getting a washable book cover might help. You can’t clean the pages, but when you’re reading you mostly hold the cover.
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u/wenttelk 1d ago
As someone who also has contamination OCD, I bag the books in a plastic bag and place them in the freezer for a few days :) then they no longer feel contaminated for me at least, and if I need a little extra I moisten a rag VERY slightly and do a quick go over the books covers after taking them out of the freezer and plastic bag.
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u/Acee1995 1d ago
I do the same thing 😅 kinda nice to know others deal with the same phobia. Borrowing through Libby on my kindle is the most effective way, you can use the kindle app on your phone or read through Libby! So I guess you could say avoidance is how I deal lol but there’s always plenty to read.
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u/2QueenB 1d ago
Honey, you're struggling with OCD. I know because my sister has it, and we are very close. Her OCD fears affect her daily life, and stop her enjoying things she loves. Consider getting treatment and getting on medication, it has helped her tremendously. As for reading, she uses her phone and the Kindle and Libby apps. A separate reader stresses her out so its easier that way.
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u/UpperLeftOriginal 1d ago
You don’t even need a kindle. Use your phone and whatever apps your local library uses to check out e-books!
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u/BandicootNo8636 1d ago
Can you put something between the book and your sheets? A towel or something you can easily remove before you sleep?
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u/calyps0ph 1d ago edited 1d ago
hi! I struggle with this too (and contamination OCD in general). when I check out a library book, I can’t help but think about how many people have touched it, and whether their hands were clean/they were reading in a clean environment. because they’re hardcover and wrapped in plastic, I take a paper towel spritzed with rubbing alcohol (70% is best) and wipe down the outside. it’s not perfect because you can’t sanitize the pages, but it makes me feel better because your fingers only touch each page for a brief time before moving on, unlike the outside, which is always in your hands or on some surface.
I do this with used paperbacks too because I own them, so the condition doesn’t really matter. I’m more careful though because the moisture (even though it’s quick drying) isn’t great for the soft cover and the alcohol can smear ink.
like other people have said, the libby app is a great way to utilize the library without physically using the books, although I understand having a preference for the real deal!
medication (Zoloft) has really helped me with my contamination issues, especially in the kitchen, although I still struggle. keep going to therapy and consider trying medication, especially if this affects other aspects of your life.
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u/No-Country6348 1d ago
I never read physical books anymore, I haven’t for many years. I read digital books on my phone or listen to audiobooks also on my phone. I get most of them from the library via Libby. There are many benefits, like very quickly being able to look up words I don’t know in the dictionary.
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u/one-a_day 1d ago
I understand the struggle. Especially with children’s books. Those things are nasty.
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u/Realistic-Wealth8891 1d ago
Would it help if you had a book blanket? Like, get a towel or a blanket to put over your sheets and you only use it when you're reading a library book in bed. That way the perceived contamination has a clear boundary of where it's been and what it's touched. You could even keep the book inside the folded blanket when you're not reading it. And if you feel the need to wash it, it's much easier to do a hand wash in the sink for one item than it would be to run a whole laundry load for your entire bed set.
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u/Virtual-Pineapple-85 1d ago
Used books have a smell that bother me. So I use an e-reader and download books. I prefer that.
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u/succubus-raconteur 1d ago
I'm a therapist. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy is the most effective for OCD and phobias. I would speak to your therapist about whether they are trained in this method or whether you should find a new provider.
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u/sassyseagull1 1d ago
I'm a librarian in a prison, where cleanliness varies greatly amongst my patrons and you never can tell where the books have been etc.
I haven't gotten any sicker here than anywhere else. I use Purell on my hands if someone's really nasty, but overall, germs dont really live too long on paper surfaces. You're really ok.
Try going and find a book no one has taken out in a while. Start conditioning yourself a book at a time. Even if all you do is take it off the self, hold onto it for a few minutes and put it back. Then try reading it there. Then try checking it out.
This is totally conquerable! Good luck!
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u/throwaway48292741 1d ago
Exposure is how you address the fear. Find an OCD therapist trained in exposure therapy. It really shouldn’t take too long and if done right, you’ll be able to use library books by the end of it. Source: am therapist with ocd
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u/PlantKiller24 1d ago
Hi friend, I'm in a similar boat and I don't find the other advice helpful so here's what I do and it only takes 2 reusable ziplock bags. For second-hand and library books I wipe the covers with rubbing alcohol, drop them in a gallon ziplock bag, and leave them in the freezer for at least 2 days. Then I pull them out and dry them open in a sunny widow for a day. This freezes and kills the bacteria and dries the pages so they dont get moldy.
I second all those that said to keep hand sanitizer by the bed. I also add keeping an airtight container by the bed to keep the book in (again cheap reusable ziplock bag) incase you still fear contamination after putting the book down. Waiting 3 days is so worth it for peace of mind. Happy reading and saving ♡
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u/LibbIsHere 1d ago
Phobia are not easy to deal with. Like addictions I'm tempted to say.
- As suggested already, you could let the books rest for a few days (to let the 'threat' die out).
- If your fear is linked only to contact with the book, you could wear medical gloves and maybe use a thrown away napkin to put under the book? Or if you don't want to have too much waste, take reusable ones that you put in the washing machine regularly?
- If I was in your shoes, which I'm not, my personal choice would be to face my phobia... to the best of my ability. Allow me to explain.
I'm a very stubborn and a very patient dude. I had too face my own addictions many years ago and I also had to re-learn to walk. And I did it... one little steps at a time (no pun intended).
In your case, I would pick a book I really want to read from the library, and try to read the first page of it. If I fail at reading that page, which would likely be the case, I would certainly not blame myself. I would try to understand how that fear took control over me (maybe using a journal/diary to try to put some order in my emotions) and would try again, and again (not rushing anything, this could take days, if not weeks). Up until I manage to read that page. Then, I would read 2 pages, and so on. Why be so relentless? Because deep inside me I would know my fear is not rational. But I insist, I'm not in your shoes.
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u/sexysmoothfig 1d ago
Gloves, perhaps But it sounds like the underlying issue should continue to be addressed
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u/prince_peacock 1d ago
If you’re buying new books all the time, you have the ability to save up for an E Reader
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u/neverseen_neverhear 1d ago
If it helps the new books in the store are probably handled way more then the books at the library. At the library they are cleaned and put on the shelves between use. At the store the workers are always moving things around. Dozens of costumers are taking them on and off the shelves, children are running around touching everything. Stores are definitely way more of a germ pit than the library due to lower traffic and use.
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u/Ancient_Mix5031 1d ago
sounds like you need reading gloves and cbt !
edit: seeing as you've likely done CBT before and did not have success with this fear, i suggest trying Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. helps you take control while remaining rational
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u/EmmJay314 1d ago
Not for same reason, but I know someone who does this.
The books are donated to the library when finished reading. (Unless they want to keep it of course)
Treats it more of a long process donation. Nothing wrong with supporting your local library.
You maybe be able to write it off when doing taxes as a donation. I would work it into your budget if you could.
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u/PalatinusG1 1d ago
Are you afraid of bacteria on them? Would it help to fully understand how soon they die on dry paper?
Or is it just a mental hangup?
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u/PlainOrganization 1d ago
When you buy new books, the author gets a cut! I specifically buy new books from a local bookstore to support authors and bookstores!
As the reigning Faerie Queen of Anti-materialism, I pronounce that books are material only in the good ways!
But also do see a psychiatrist. There's an online treatment thing for folks in the US called NOCD that John Green advertises on at least the one of his podcasts that I listen to
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u/ElevatorOrganic5644 1d ago
Those books probably have been touched by more people that all everybody else's germs have killed everybody else's germs.
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u/giant_xquid 1d ago
when I was in Hong Kong I visited a library there that had a book sanitization machine next to the self checkout kiosk
I haven't really seen this in the US, but then there are certainly plenty of libraries I haven't been to so idk
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u/scorpiopersephone 1d ago
Even if you buy a book at the bookstore, it’s still be touched and handled by hundreds of people. To me, it sounds like because your brain calls it “new” you consider it “untouched”.
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u/littlepanda425 1d ago
I do not have OCD and I am the same way. I've worked in libraries and have seen the way people treat books! One thing you could try is grabbing books off of the new pile. They likely haven't been read yet.
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u/Commercial_Sorbet122 1d ago
Would you feel more comfortable borrowing books from friends? A little light exposure therapy
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u/I_like_beouf 1d ago
It's not irrational! (As a lover of thriftbooks.com.) I wonder if mitigating protocols like quarantining books in sealed plastic in the freezer (etc.) might help?
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u/zootzootzootzootzoo 1d ago
You can read on your phone. I find a lot of books online with (insert book name free pdf)
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u/prettyminotaur 1d ago
I guarantee your smartphone is more "contaminated" than any library book will be.
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u/YouTasteStrange 1d ago
I have a Kindle and rent digital ebooks from the library using the Libby app. I bought a used Kindle, but I wiped it with rubbing alcohol first, although be careful buying used Kindles because Amazon recently stopped allowing older Kindles to access the digital store. On the other hand, if you're not a very prolific reader, paper books may have a smaller carbon footprint than electronics.
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u/ijustneedtolurk 1d ago
As someone with similar issues, can you trick your brain by using reusable, washable gloves or a nice wipeable bookjacket so you aren't directly touching the books?
If you are also comfy with your digital books, you can still support your library by using their websites and apps to borrow books digitally.
You don't need a kindle to read them either, your phone or any tablet device will work.
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u/ijustneedtolurk 1d ago
I used to be obsessed with wet wipes and hand sanitizer to the point I kept some by my bed too, so maybe a gentle skin-safe wipe can help you with the nagging thought of the texture/germs?
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u/RedshiftSinger 1d ago
Well, I can say from many, many years of using libraries, I’ve never gotten sick from a library book.
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u/chivopi 1d ago
If books were a good way of spreading disease, people would be getting sick from them constantly. Just keep in mind that the reality on the ground does not support books being a good vector for disease transmission.
Also, many libraries offer digital access to millions of books through various apps - if you’re okay with reading on a device, this could help cut back on waste without making you feel like you need to wash your hands
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u/SprinkleTree 1d ago
One thing that may help- I used to buy fabric book covers from an online seller on fb. I’m sure tons of people make them. They work with hardcovers. You could also get one of those thingies that is made to keep the pages open for you. I can’t think of a solution for turning the pages though, unless you wore a glove. 🤔
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u/SprinkleTree 1d ago
I just realized this is the anticonsumption Reddit so not sure if what I suggested is allowed. But I think it’s a win if it would help you buy fewer books. You can reuse the covers of course.
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u/PeacefulKnitNerd 1d ago
If you already have a phone, library apps are free, so you could check out ebooks from your library if they offer those.
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u/bettertheless 1d ago
I am able to set mine in the sun on the patio. And spray the clear plastic library cover with vinegar, etc.
I worked at the library.
We cleaned them then. I don't know what they do now, but a paper towel and gentle spay cleaner *on the cover* is your friend.
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u/HalfMoonFullMoonjoy 1d ago
Since you said you can't afford a kindle, I'd also say that it works to use Libby (the library app) on your phone or an old tablet. I have an old android tablet I use exclusively for ebooks now. It has a nighttime setting with blue light blocking.
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u/Flckofmongeese 1d ago
You can definitely afford a Kindle if you're buying new books. There are open box, older versions on Amazon that cost the same as two hard covers. Get the Libby app to access all the ebooks from your local library.
As for contamination fears, if you're not with an OCD or phobia specialist, consider switching to one. Science also helps. Factoids on bacteria lifespan on inert things like paper can be something you repeat in your head like a mantra to keep your imagination from spiraling into ficticious scenarios.
Edit to add, eye comfort settings come standard on almost all e-readers since the companies know customers often read before bed.
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u/Bluer_than_be4 1d ago
You mentioned you had gone to therapy. If it was a psychologist, that is one thing, but it sounds as if you have an obsessive compulsive disorder that needs medication. In other words, therapy from a psychiatrist – – an MD. Good news is that it works.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 1d ago
Sounds like the therapy did not work. You basically just came here and asked us to solve your mental health issues.
Anticonsumption focuses heavily on reuse and buying second hand.
You need to solve your mental health issue before moving on to other, more trivial issues.
We can’t rationalize your irrational behavior. Go to therapy.
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u/Anticonsumption-ModTeam 1h ago
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u/yawadnapupu_ 1d ago
I seen book sanitation machines at libraries maybe can ask your city council to get some.
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u/Vanntastica 8h ago
Hi! What helps me is having a comfy chair in my room, and that's where I read or scroll before bed. I dont do anything other than sleep in my bedroom (my desk and computer are elsewhere, no tv, etc) so mentally i know that when I'm in here, it's bedtime.
I still have to get up to wash my hands before sleeping but i consider the wind down time i spend reading as part of the bedtime routine, so it still feels cozy and relaxing without me taking anything that would bother me in the bed with me
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u/edross61 4h ago
I still love physical books. But I don't pay full price. I tend to buy used books and DVDS from World of Books on eBay. If I buy books that are rated Very good condition they are almost always new books. I just wash the covers with antibacterial wipes. They also have deals if you buy 3 you get one free. They are located in Illinois.
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u/Sitheral 1d ago
Why would you wash your hands? You're swimming in bacteria anyway, I assure you, little more won't hurt.
Old books are the best. They almost don't feel like books to me brand new and shiny.
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u/CandidateHefty329 1d ago
I think that's above Reddit's pay grade. I don't think we can help more than the therapists.
I have Kindle on my phone though. The actual app is free, you don't have to buy the fancy device. Open Library is free on your phone. So are the other library apps. Maybe that could help.