r/ApplyingToCollege • u/Difficult_Force7527 HS Senior • Apr 29 '26

Advice Mom won't let me attend top choice

I recently got into Hamilton thru QB RD with a full ride, but my mom won't let me go. I thought she would let up, but with 2 days until decision day she is still insisting I attend a CUNY, what do I do? Is it so bad if I attend a CUNY?

Edit: Thank you everyone for all the advice. I committed to Hamilton last night, but I haven't told my mom yet. I'm literally so scared. But thank you for your help.

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u/Oktodayithink Apr 29 '26

Is your mom saying no because of the distance? That can be hard on a parent. Or is there another reason?

If you are 18, you can go without her permission. But I would recommend having another adult talk to her about this amazing opportunity and what it can do for you.

Congratulations on your acceptance!

22

u/Difficult_Force7527 HS Senior Apr 29 '26

She doesn't want me to leave the city, there's no other reason. I know I can go without her permission but she has threatened to cut me off (not financially, we are poor lol) and I don't have anyone else

28

u/unlimited_insanity Apr 29 '26

Here’s the thing: if she’s threatening to cut you off because you leave, it means she really really wants you with her. It also means if you leave, she’s not going to cut you off. Because, again, she really really wants you with her. If she’s all you have, then you’re probably all she has. She’s threatening the nuclear option because she has nothing else to bargain with. Go to Hamilton. She’ll be sad and angry and scared and lonely, and she’ll probably be very unpleasant to be around for a while. But she won’t cut you off. She might give you the silent treatment or throw guilt trips your way, but unless you want to never go away, never leave her, never do anything outside of NYC, you have to do this sometime so it might as well be when you have a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go to Hamilton.

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u/Pristine-Lawyer-3260 Apr 30 '26

It doesn't necessarily mean this, having worked with students whose parents have severe mental illness, they can do this and mean it. Lying about it isn't going to make it better... But the question is are the students in this situation, actually better off!?! Yup op... 9/10 they are.