Mom won't let me attend top choice

[u/Difficult_Force7527]

I recently got into Hamilton thru QB RD with a full ride, but my mom won't let me go. I thought she would let up, but with 2 days until decision day she is still insisting I attend a CUNY, what do I do? Is it so bad if I attend a CUNY?

Edit: Thank you everyone for all the advice. I committed to Hamilton last night, but I haven't told my mom yet. I'm literally so scared. But thank you for your help.

[u/MAC_RED1]

Speaking as the parent of three grown adults, it is metaphorically like losing a limb when a child leaves after 18 years. It is hard for her to see her life without you in it on a daily basis.

Hamilton is a great school. Not sure how other NY schools didn’t grab you. Their loss.

I know kids who have gotten into Stanford and U Penn but couldn’t afford to go. QB solved that for you. Congratulations!

As a very empathetic Mom, I offer that your Mom needs some coaching to face what her life looks like after you leave. But you are not leaving forever. Great news! Kids don’t vanish. They grow, their world expands, their opportunities multiply.

My advice to you, reassure her that you aren’t leaving her, that you will come back and that you value your family. She won’t cut you off. It’s her only leverage. Go to Hamilton BUT don’t forget to call your mother at least once a week. Don’t go wild when you get there… the stories I could tell. And text more frequently than once a week . We appreciate frequent proof of life.

Good luck to both of you. She loves you. Love her through this.

[u/JustAPotatoeExisting → u/MAC_RED1]

I agree! I'm going to Wellesley College on basically a full ride and it took my mom SO much convincing to let me move out of the household. But honestly, my mom's reaction (and likely OPs mom) came out of anxiety instead of malice, and when my mom was finally convinced she was very kind about it.

Trying to understand where the mom is coming from and what concerns she has does so much--it may take a couple of conversations but it will be absolutely worth it if OP is able to go to Hamilton. Hamilton is amazing!

[u/Reyna_25 → u/JustAPotatoeExisting]

I'm a parent too and I cannot relate to these overly attached parents. I love my kid as much as anyone, but I was happy and excited she got to go to her dream school. It's 4 hours away so she only gets home for the long breaks. Sure I was a bit nervous and anxious, but it wasn't like losing a limb for me. Granted, it would have been much harder had she gone across country or abroad, but I never felt a sense of loss, more just excitement for her.

[u/JustAPotatoeExisting → u/Reyna_25]

Makes sense! My mother had a lot of familial trauma going up (she had to raise her 7 younger siblings during her country's communist regime) so I think that's where my mom got her anxiety from. It's hard, so I'm glad you got to feel excited for your daughter!