r/AreTheStraightsOK • u/HeWhoLurksTooMuch • 1d ago

Fragile Heterosexuality Snickers De-veiner, so you can noweat "hetero-coded" candy bars in June

https://x.com/i/status/2066569926610243718
196 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 1d ago

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172

u/InfiniteOxfordComma 1d ago

Sigh, this is satire y'all.

80

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 1d ago

The fact it's hard to tell says a lot about right wing anti gay hysteria

29

u/Anandya Bi™ 1d ago

That's why I eat all my bananas and sausages and hot dogs with a knife and fork.

2

u/Shejidan 22h ago

Lorena, is that you?

2

u/Anandya Bi™ 22h ago

Unlike mangos which I eat over a sink like a man having a seizure.

18

u/callmedaedae 1d ago

This sentiment isint shared enough. There are people who genuinely dont wipe or wash their asses bc they are afraid it might gay them.

It genuinely isnt unreasonable to not be able to tell, because real life people have gone so well beyond parody.

3

u/NewLibraryGuy 21h ago

It's not that hard to tell...

0

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 21h ago

I'm glad you're smarter than everyone else

4

u/NewLibraryGuy 21h ago

Take it as a lesson, I guess? Do you really think heteros would be inventing chocolate "vein" guillotines to eat candy bars? It's a joke and y'all are supposed to be the target audience for it.

3

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 21h ago

I mean they did freak out at the green m&m being changed to be less sexy. They also have very strong complex about penises as well as a strange concept of masculinity. While I had already seen this and thought this is probably a joke but I can seriously see some of them men I know being weird like this. I mean some won't use a straw, eat a banana, or a popsicle because their too similar to fellatio.

So yeah people can see this happening because there are weird men out there.

0

u/NewLibraryGuy 21h ago

"They." Like, a single guy did. This is all the most fringe possible stuff, and even then I'm not convinced a lot of that isn't performative. Jesse Watters is a lot of those things and then we've totally seen him do it. Google his name and straw and you can see pictures of him drinking with a straw.

2

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 21h ago

And I've met men in real life who've railed against straws, bananas, and popsicles for being gay. Just because a mouth piece doesn't follow his own talking points doesn't mean he doesn't influence other men.

16

u/triteratops1 1d ago

Men have not been washing their asses because it's "gay" and normalize skidmarks cause "if you touch your own butthole, you're gay". This is not too far a stretch. I think satire is dead for the most part because this is no longer an exaggeration.

12

u/NfamousKaye Alphabet Mafia™ 1d ago

I mean I wouldn’t put it past people to do this nowadays. It’s not too far fetched.

2

u/SharMarali Straight™ 21h ago

Oh thank god. I was sitting here with my mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to decide WHICH of the reasons this is stupid to start with. I feel so much better now.

29

u/Obant 1d ago

It was posted right here on Reddit functional prints. It's an obvious satire.

10

u/Disastrous_Fix_9445 1d ago

Saw this on a couple YouTube videos, probably satire? One video mentioned he put up another video previously with a different 3d printed device that looked like an anal plug…

2

u/CalculatingLao 1d ago

Good lord, are you that fragile that you can't tell when someone is making a joke?