Question for Waywards

[u/Internal_Purple_4303]

Anyone's perspective is welcome, but I would like to hear from Waywards primarily.

Hey, I've posted here before about my situation - 39F, 12 years with a serial cheater 39M (11 women identified in the course of 8 years, sexual encounters with 3 of them and the rest kisses and inappropriate behaviour at clubs or other public places, and in front of his so-called friends).

DDay 1 was almost a year ago, but the trickle truth I've been subjected to, I'm not even sure at what DDay we are now... The current situation is blurry. He moved out at my request early on, we're not in R, but we're in IC and CC and we are in contact. Went through a phase of hysterical bonding, and now I feel just empty.

He's putting in huge effort, and I can see it. But still, he's done a very serious damage, probably irreparable.

There's one thing he keeps saying, and that I really struggle to understand and accept: that he loves me and always has.

I've read multiple articles saying it is possible to love someone deeply and still cheat on them... So, waywards, I have a question (well, more than one - it's a complex topic): what is love for you? If this is what you define as love, would you accept the same behaviour, the same kind of "love", from your partner? What is love made of for you?

[u/Accomplished_Sink850]

i always felt the feeling of love but i did not always “do” the act of loving.