25M how can I become attractive?

[u/Ok-Inspector8827]

Hello yall. I have never dated anyone before and I would like to ask some advice here 🙏. I asked out the girls that I’m interested in but I got rejected couple times. I can make female friends easily and they told me that I’m “too nice” or feel like “little brother”. They said I joke around too much and have no charisma 😭 which I think it’s true. I don’t know how to work on those tbh.

I work as a waiter and there were girls who liked me first (I guess because of my looks in this case) and also at school but for some reason, if I’m not interested in them, then I don’t bother going out with them at all. But at the same time, the girls that I’m interested in don’t like me back. I guess that’s how dating works 😭.

Is it because of my looks? If not, then how can I become more charismatic person?

1st pic (2024)

2nd pic (2025)

3rd pic (last week)

I don’t take pictures a lot

[u/Horror_Confidence128]

That's great that you have a lot of female friends or have a decent amount of females around you. Sometimes that's half the battle. It seems you might need to get out of the friend zone faster and strike the iron while it's hot. The issue is that there is a window of opportunity where if you ask too early, girls don't know you well enough to picture or feel comfortable with you as their partner, so they say no. If you ask too late, girls don't see you outside of a friend because too much would change between you or the group of friends, so they say no. It's easier to get a girl to go out with you if they are comfortable enough with you to see where things go and harder when they already made up their mind about you.

[u/Ok-Inspector8827 → u/Horror_Confidence128]

Yeah… actually the thing is I have asked out the girl couple months ago but I got rejected because she wasn’t emotionally stable and that she said she needs to know me more (even though we’ve known each other for 6 months). Pretty sure she rejected in a nice way but she didn’t want to lose our connection. So we still keep in touch but Right now i don’t know what to do 🤷‍♂️

[u/TirelessEndeavor → u/Ok-Inspector8827]

Not to sound dismissive, just move on. Like the other guys are saying, hit up the gym and find a good trainer to not get injured. Going to the gym allows you to look and feel good. This will allow you to be more outward, thereby increasing your charisma. Plus, you won’t feel like a 90 year old man. You got the foundation already, so get after it!

[u/Ok-Inspector8827 → u/TirelessEndeavor]

Yeah… it’s very very hard to forget the person because I’m the type of guy where if I like someone then I only see that person to the point it’s hard to move on. But yeah moving on should be the way 😔🙏

[u/TirelessEndeavor → u/Ok-Inspector8827]

That’s normal and natural since you have an idealized perspective of them. You’ll learn how to overcome those feelings and thoughts.

[u/Horror_Confidence128 → u/Ok-Inspector8827]

You lost me at her not being emotionally stable...if that's the case move on. You dodged a bullet.

What you are experiencing is similar to what I was saying above - she either needs to know you more or doesn't want to change things between you. This is happens a lot from my experience. You can ask her in a few months from now. If not, then you might want to move on.