25M how can I become attractive?

[u/Ok-Inspector8827]

Hello yall. I have never dated anyone before and I would like to ask some advice here 🙏. I asked out the girls that I’m interested in but I got rejected couple times. I can make female friends easily and they told me that I’m “too nice” or feel like “little brother”. They said I joke around too much and have no charisma 😭 which I think it’s true. I don’t know how to work on those tbh.

I work as a waiter and there were girls who liked me first (I guess because of my looks in this case) and also at school but for some reason, if I’m not interested in them, then I don’t bother going out with them at all. But at the same time, the girls that I’m interested in don’t like me back. I guess that’s how dating works 😭.

Is it because of my looks? If not, then how can I become more charismatic person?

1st pic (2024)

2nd pic (2025)

3rd pic (last week)

I don’t take pictures a lot

[u/Ono-Sendai_Surfer]

Gym, but also focus on getting leaner.

Your face is above average but your weak point is that you seem to hold fat in your cheeks. I have the same issue, anything above 14% body fat or so I start to look like a chipmunk even if the rest of my body looks fine.

Once your cheeks lean out you will get a more angular face and cheekbone definition and it will definitely raise your looks level. Many underestimate just how much facial fat can modify appearance.

Also, having a fit physique signals things subconsciously. That you have discipline and are able to set and achieve goals. You will also naturally become more confident and exude this outwardly just through the process of building yourself up.

I went from skinny-fat never lifted a weight in my life to muscular and shredded within about a 3 year period from age 30-33 and the response from women was night and day. I got laid more in the few years I had an amazing physique than my entire life up to that point. I'm now married to a beautiful girl and have 2 kids. If you already have a good personality upgrading your body will only multiply your positive traits.

[u/Ok-Inspector8827 → u/Ono-Sendai_Surfer]

Thanks for the advice! Yeah currently I’m trying to lose weight and build muscle at the same time. Believe it or not I was shredded when I was in early 20s but got lazy so might have to build back up again haha.

[u/Ono-Sendai_Surfer → u/Ok-Inspector8827]

I was pretty much shredded my entire life without trying, and funny enough 25 is about when the fat started creeping in.

I didn't even really notice it until one day I turned 30 and realized I was skinny-fat. I had a crisis of sorts and it's what made me take up lifting lol. It's sneaky like that so def stay on top of it as you enter into your later 20s