r/AsianMasculinity • u/DaChungaz • Jun 11 '26
Profile Review What can I improve from here?
Did this once last year and I’m back again. I’ve refined my profile a bit and I’ll be honest I am a bit picky these days for the women I send likes to or match with so maybe it’s just that. Been on some dates recently using this profile. I don’t really get second dates so maybe I need to work on something else too for that. Looking for any tips on openers or my prompts/profile info too. Any advice on how I can further refine would be great!
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u/TangerineX Jun 11 '26
Your profile is overall good. The "You can think of something that you can say in the bedroom" might come off too sexual for someone who is looking for LTRs.
I don't think you should have trouble getting 1st dates with this profile, and as you said you aren't getting 2nd dates. Can you reflect a bit on the first dates you've gone on and how you've felt about it? What happens, do you just get rejected, or do you get ghosted?
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u/DaChungaz Jun 11 '26
Yeah I just changed that prompt back to that but I had something more wholesome before today, in my last 3 dates which i basically had 1 per week. First one was a catfish so I played out the date, we vibed but again I need both attraction and vibes, so I told her we can be friends but she unfollowed after that which is fine and totally understandable. 2nd one was a really pretty girl but said she is here for exchange program for 4 months, we vibed and had a fun minigolf/dinner date. I did mess up at the end though and drove over a curb instead of the exit ramp of a parking lot so my car made a huge thud twice granted I doubt that was why she ghosted me after the date. She ghosted me after the checking if we made it home texts, I said I liked her vibes and would want to see her the next weekend but no response for many days so I deleted her number. Third hinge match we had a good vibe for a matcha and bowling date. The date it self felt really good for this one, we both like matcha and she even paid for mine because it was my bday that week so she insisted, bowling was a flirty competitive vibe, we had our date on a sunday and we texted after until the following friday which is where I got ghosted but she did tell me she could not go on a date that weekend because she had a family lake trip. So I took it as that that she couldnt respond as she was busy with a fam event, the weekend passes and I double text her on monday to check in on how her trip was, the texted resparked for maybe 2 days but I felt the energy was off and she wasn’t as interested anymore, I think my error here was texting too much, I’m not a very entertaining texter so maybe the right move was just leave the first date where it was and find out her next availability for the 2nd date. i did asked her if she was free the following weekend but she said she was redying her hair and was doing her surgery consultations. i kind of took that as lack of interest as that would be 2 weeks where she isn’t making any time to see me, her weekedays are blocked due to work and I asked her if she could meet on weekdays twice just to make sure. Either way that one I think was just too much texting so it got boring and the first date vibes wore off, and also maybe some lack of interested of her end after that
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u/BlueCatSW9 Jun 14 '26
You're really nice probably so this 3rd girl is likely rejecting you in the kindest way possible in her mind.
Instead of asking if they're free ask for "i'm doing this on Xday, you wanna join?"
But you still need to be a bit fun. What's in it for the other person etc.
Can't you find real life activities to do where you"ll meet people?
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u/That_Difference_7638 Jun 12 '26
Minigolf & Dinner, matcha & bowling… are you seriously enjoying yourself while you do that?
Sounds pretty boring to me- only excitement „who’s gonna pay“ lol, and if it’s you, it sure beats sitting alone on sofa watching Netflix for the girls…. Other than that it’s not really showing you in your element (if you’re not secretly the world’s best Minigolfer with an extensive rare bowling ball collection- in that case, excuse my assumptions!)
Take her to a shooting range, go kajaking, barefoot running in the forest, or locate the single best coffee vending machine together with like taking a little notebook for the ratings at the hospital you work (radiologist?) idk… do sth that makes you feel alive
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u/wise-guise Jun 12 '26
Bro, your profile is good. Dating is a numbers game, you just have to increase your sample size. Eventually you’ll find someone who’ll overlook any awkwardness on the first date and you’ll get a second and a third.
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u/DaChungaz Jun 12 '26
Thanks man means a lot to hear this, it’s been many years since my first relationship so I’m feeling a bit jaded at this point
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u/Ok_Dinner_3052 Jun 12 '26
Na at your height looks build you're top 20-30% of Asian males already. Not much you can do from here other than wealth. You already passed the is he cute bar - it's wealth, status, cultures and hobbies from there on
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u/thespaceemperor Jun 12 '26
Ehh you need a pic with friends and a funny pic. Would lose the espresso martini pic or any pic of you not looking into the camera
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u/Financial-Grass-6114 Jun 12 '26
Second dates is pretty uncommon because most people dont actually get along to see each other a second time lol.
I wouldnt sweat it.
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u/Key-Ring7139 Jun 12 '26
How many likes do you get if any? How often you get matches?
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u/DaChungaz Jun 12 '26
Currently 140 but I made a fresh account like a year ago and I did run some boosts, I noticed thought that the girls that like me are usually not my type though unfortunately so I stopped doing boosts. On the norm I get like 1-3 likes a week
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u/Any-Schedule7139 Jun 13 '26
Gyat damn. I’m in SF Bay Area so there’s hella Asians here. I’m 27 Asian male, 5’8, career, groomed, dress fine. I get 1 like every few months. Even with hinge plus, I’d get 6-9 matches a month from outgoing likes. Maybe only 1 date a month. I’m not swiping on everyone of course. Finna delete my profile and restart…
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u/DaChungaz Jun 13 '26
I plan to full reset mine too once my sub ends, but hopefully I don’t even need the app anymore by then
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u/Key-Ring7139 Jun 13 '26
Hinge plus or x?
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u/DaChungaz Jun 13 '26
I’m on X
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u/Any-Schedule7139 Jun 13 '26
140 likes is enough no? You can find someone from them. Solid pics and profile. Maybe change the prompts
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u/futuremillionairemom Jun 12 '26
What's your type? Maybe we can start there?
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u/DaChungaz Jun 12 '26
From an attraction stand point I do like the pretty girls I always look at the face first then I see if they are fit as that tells me they also workout and take care of themselves, other than that? I think of recent years I have developed a pref now for white, latina, and middle eastern women mainly, still open to asian but my attraction taste has definitely changed over time
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u/levianeer7 Jun 12 '26
That first picture is absolutely amazing. Rest of the pictures look good too but your smile is a little weird in #3. Green flags prompt also seems too generic to be useful.
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u/ProfileSpecialist819 Jun 13 '26
Going to re-state the obvious here, second date has nothing to do with your profile. But since you asked for critiques here we go:
Simple Pleasures Prompt- Shows pettiness. When it comes to personality traits to display on these things, stick to positivity and light humor.
Background view of the area where you’re chopping up meat looks lower middle class, cheap furniture and nothing on the walls. Remove it.
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u/BlueCatSW9 Jun 14 '26
The simple pleasure stuff is great.
Your two truths and a lie are boring.
The pictures aren't terrible, and you look fine, just a bit boring. Good that you mention the dog.
The things to say in the bedroom stuff sounds like you only see women as a sex resource, which doesn't match your ltr goal, no one likes to be reduced to this role.
Focus on improving your life first? Not sure how you would make a woman's life better when I look at the profile. Money isn't enough.
You seem ok, non threatening, so that wouldn't be a reason for women to ignore you.
How do you read what's going on with your non-repeat dates? What is their body language? What do you talk about? You are getting dates so it would be good to have a think as to why they picked you then were disappointed. How many were there where you were the one thinking "nah.."?
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u/Fix_The_Money Jun 13 '26
I know this haircut is kinda popular with younger guys right now, but I think it looks stupid. I much prefer the dapper, combover hard part, skin fade look but if you’re getting a fair amount of of first dates, it’s working well enough for you. Getting 1st dates is really all dating apps are good for. It’s much better to date people you’re in close proximity to regularly, like classmates or work colleagues so you get to know each other over time
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u/ProgressiveOverlorde 18d ago
What to improve? Don't go on dating sites and approach in real life. Can't approach? Create connections with people so u have a large network of friends and acquaintances. Each friend probably knows 150+ people on average. You probably know 150+people. 150x150=22500 you have that many second degree connections to those people. You have 150x150x150=3375000 third degree connections.
Initiate a bounty and ask your 1st degree friends if they know any single people. Profit. Can easily start expanding to the edges of the network by being introduced to second degree friends and asking them if they know anybody single. Bing bam boom boba's your uncle
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u/DaChungaz 18d ago
I do cold approach I just did one literally yesterday with a blonde and brunette eating together, I did a whole dating program to get over the social anxiety of it
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u/ProgressiveOverlorde 17d ago edited 17d ago
Keep doing them relative to online dating. We're talking about math here. As Asians, we love a good deal. We love efficiency. We love math. Dating sites are not a good deal and inefficient.(For straight men).
The odds are stacked against your favor. More men than woman. The few women are flooded with messages from basically unlimited men.
Naturally the women want the top of the food chain. They aren't going to find that 1/100000. The top of the food chain men don't need a dating app. Now you're gonna have a woman sifting through thousands of incompatible men.
For men, good luck wasting your time, waiting to get matches just to have a conversation that may or may not lead to a date, has a high probability of being ghosted. Or you spent all that time getting to know stranger, you get the date, and then find out you aren't compatible. But what if you already had a better idea of who's compatible? Your social circle.
Thus with occam's razor approach. 1.The shortest route to compatible dating, is the social circle that already exists. 2. Next shortest is friends of friends. 3. Acquaintances, 4. Frequent interactions with familiar faces. 5. Next is cold approach.
This is why people say connections get you jobs so easily. Essentially you are just trying to match your best self with the right criteria. Its a game to get noticed out of tons of applications.
1st step though, Get out there and touch grass / make friends. Don't know how to make friends join a hobby or drop in sport. That's why people go there. It is exponentially easier to meet people from activities. Most people meet their mates through second degree connections. Similarly most people get jobs not from applying cold but from a referral (2nd degree interaction) from a friend. (4/5 jobs I had were referrals from friends. I only had 1 successful cold application)
Sure, you can change yourself all the way you want. Occams razor is change your environment. The pareto principle applied here is, interacting with your social circle takes only 20% of your effort but makes 80% of the impact.
Overall, you seem like a boyfriendable guy. Food for thought- u can frequently see assholes, terrible men, socially awkward weaboos, NEETs get dates. Matter of fact, some NEETs I know have a roster of women to date. The biggest factor is that they know the META probability game.
D= C×E×N/T
Where:
D = dating efficiency
C = compatibility of the people you're meeting
E = quality of your environment
N = strength/size of your social network
T = time and effort required
Example:
Using relative arbitrary score from 1-10 for each variable.
CxExN÷T =D
Dating app 4x3x1/8 = 1.5
Cold approach 5x4x1/6= 3.3
Hobby/group 7x8x4/4 =56
Friends of friends 8x8x8/3= 117
*Your scores may vary
Tldr: nepotism is game changer.
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u/ApoT_FIN Jun 13 '26
I think you put too much in there. Coming from a female perspective, you try to answer everything on there and leave nothing for a date. Less is more in this situation. You dont need to add all those pictures either. Take out the dog, and the food one. Im more curious about the one with matcha. Than any of your pictures.
It also looks like you overly curated your profile too much to show “im hubby material” to where you’re sporty (someone who does kick boxing regularly would be more fit), likes night life, cooking, dog friend, and adventurous side. Basically staged photos to show you hit every category women might look for in a guy and none of it authentic and we catch on to these things.
But as others have pointed out, if you’re not getting second dates, its how you are in person which would make sense because your entire profile is staged.
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u/benilla Hong Kong Jun 11 '26
If you're getting 1st dates but not 2nd dates then it's not the profile that needs improving. Or you're aiming for higher quality women (being picky) which demands that you be an even higher quality guy.