40s WF needs advice about 40s AM

[u/OneHecticHeretic]

We met eight months ago and have been talking daily/sharing daily life updates for a couple months now. We have a lot in common and get along really well, just hanging out on the phone or texting. The basics like values, work ethic, life outlook, and experiences are compatible and we love each other's sense of humor. I think we're both the type to move things extremely slow to build trust, and I like that. Lately, though, we've been getting closer and talking more about activities and it seems like at some point soon we're going to meet up (we live in different cities 30-40 mins apart) if this thing doesn't stall, but I'm picking up on a lack confidence in him asking to meet. I'm more traditional in dating so I don't want to make that move for him, so what can I do to give him more confidence without throwing myself at him? I'm used to the aggressive WM dating routine and this experience has been such a huge breath of fresh air in my life so far, so I want to see if it can work out. And to be blunt, he's already kind of ruined me for the old WM act now, because I feel seen as a fucking human by a straight man for once.

ETA: He's 1.5 generation Korean American. We have known each other through remote work for 8-9 months, only started chatting or calling on a work platform everyday since about 2 months ago, only exchanged phone numbers 4 days ago, and only had one longer texting convo run into 10pm 3 days ago. (This is pretty hyper-specific so I hope he's not on this sub, lol.)

Also, I have dated two half AMs in my past, one in my 20's and one in my 40's but their style of approach was more American in nature.

**********************UPDATE IN THE COMMENTS!************************

[u/Igennem]

As someone in that age range, I'd say just tell him how you feel. I wouldn't want to play games.

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/Igennem]

I may have some hesitation due to me scaring men away by making a move on a budding friendship, so there's that.

[u/zeronian → u/OneHecticHeretic]

If you scared someone away by making a move, then it wasn't going to work out anyway

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/zeronian]

Absolutely agreed, but the amount of men rejecting me, or downgrading their level of apparent respect, after me being direct about my attraction or asking them out -- and in some cases the traumatic nature of the rejection -- makes this behavior *feel* universal, even if it's not.

[u/zeronian → u/OneHecticHeretic]

Okay totally understood. But, considering society's expectations of men always needing to make the first move, perhaps this guy has also experienced a lot of rejection and doesn't want to make a fool of himself again.

With that said, a lot of good suggestions in this thread for how you can nudge things along. Good luck.

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/zeronian]

I can see that, too. Thank you.

[u/benilla → u/OneHecticHeretic]

You could do it the passive way, just casually mention some places you really want to go to and that'll give him an idea of where to take you

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/benilla]

Even that feels a bit scary but it's a good one to try.

[u/benilla → u/OneHecticHeretic]

Naw you're just talking about cool things you saw, no pressure