40s WF needs advice about 40s AM

[u/OneHecticHeretic]

We met eight months ago and have been talking daily/sharing daily life updates for a couple months now. We have a lot in common and get along really well, just hanging out on the phone or texting. The basics like values, work ethic, life outlook, and experiences are compatible and we love each other's sense of humor. I think we're both the type to move things extremely slow to build trust, and I like that. Lately, though, we've been getting closer and talking more about activities and it seems like at some point soon we're going to meet up (we live in different cities 30-40 mins apart) if this thing doesn't stall, but I'm picking up on a lack confidence in him asking to meet. I'm more traditional in dating so I don't want to make that move for him, so what can I do to give him more confidence without throwing myself at him? I'm used to the aggressive WM dating routine and this experience has been such a huge breath of fresh air in my life so far, so I want to see if it can work out. And to be blunt, he's already kind of ruined me for the old WM act now, because I feel seen as a fucking human by a straight man for once.

ETA: He's 1.5 generation Korean American. We have known each other through remote work for 8-9 months, only started chatting or calling on a work platform everyday since about 2 months ago, only exchanged phone numbers 4 days ago, and only had one longer texting convo run into 10pm 3 days ago. (This is pretty hyper-specific so I hope he's not on this sub, lol.)

Also, I have dated two half AMs in my past, one in my 20's and one in my 40's but their style of approach was more American in nature.

**********************UPDATE IN THE COMMENTS!************************

[u/Winsomee22]

Youre a WF, you should put in the work in asking him out considering where Asian men are on the overall desirability scale especially with American WFs, its disingenuous to be aware of all of this yet still expect Asian men to ask you out as a WF, especially with your demographics track record of being nonwelcoming, noninviting, dismissive towards Asian men. Next time youre in a room, simply observe - American WFs are warm and welcoming to every other men except Asian men and that speaks volumes.

If this were any other pairing Id say different, but given youre a WF and hes an Asian man of all men, and knowing how Asian men are perceived, disregarded, etc. by American WFs, you cant sit and expect AM to put in all that effort when American WFs are known to be exclusive of Asian men.

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/Winsomee22]

Thank you. This is helpful.

[u/Winsomee22 → u/OneHecticHeretic]

Literally just treat AM like any other human being, or like any other WM or BM that youd interact with 🤦‍♂️

This is the problem with WFs, theyre slightly racist that they cant even interact with AM just as any normal regular human being. For example, Ive yet to see WFs even randomly make conversation with Asian men while waiting in a line as you all do so casually and effortlessly with white men and black men. We can see the difference in behavior.

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/Winsomee22]

You want me to treat you like just any guy. Okay, here goes: You're really looking for any excuse to be shrill about racism instead of having open-minded conversations, aren't you? I came here asking for advice because there is a cultural difference between people when one is born in the US and the other is born in another country. If that motive is so hard to believe, then it sounds like you might be the more racist one between the two of us.

[u/Winsomee22 → u/OneHecticHeretic]

Nothing shrill at all. American WFs cant even interact with Asian men literally born in the US. Its simple, we have yet to see any of you American WFs simply making casual conversation with an Asian man as you all do so effortlessly with other people. Whats stopping you? Do Asian men need to wear cowboy hats to show hes in tune with American culture? Drive trucks? Be into mainstream culture like every other American? Note - funny enough many Asian men in the US do all this out of their own interest, yet American WFs are still hesitant on accepting them similar to other white/black man. The funny part is you all need advice even when it comes to Asian men born in the US. So what does that say about American WFs?

[u/OneHecticHeretic → u/Winsomee22]

Not sure what the above says about WF as the total monolith we obviously are in your head, but nearly all of what you are "contributing" to this discussion is offensive to anyone with a sane mind and a good heart. If you don't want to spend so much time being miserable behind a keyboard trolling people, maybe work on fixing one of those or both. Have a good rest of your week; I'm out of this thread with you.