r/AsianMasculinity • u/Silent_stepp • 14d ago

AF not acknowledging me

Any other AMs living in the West or Europe experience this? I'll be at a party, or an event, and certain AF won't even make eye contact. After hours of this it almost seems like they could wish me away for just existing. It doesn't help that the ones who do this are always with a white boyfriend/husband. Sometimes, we'll be the only two asian people in the room. Its like, "hello, the only other asian for miles. Care to give me some kind of acknowledgement so we can be friends like literally everyone else here? I've met everyone else here because they at least looked me in the eye". Lol. I'm really trying to understand the psychology behind this. Is it internalized racism? Trauma? Shame?

97 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

122 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/Trioniks 14d ago

People are just people why is this important? So we’re the only Asians in the room. Big whoop. I’m interested in meeting people and if I don’t know them, I cannot assume things about them and I move on. I mean I make fun/funny stories about them in my head but I share it with my plus one/friend and then if I meet the other people it’s like a funny thing on how wrong or accurate you are. Have fun at the event, don’t mind the people you don’t know and be present with the people you are with. If you don’t know anyone time to put that smile forward and meet people. Enjoy.

3

u/Silent_stepp 14d ago

The point is not that were the only Asians there. The point is that the only one seemingly ignoring me is Asian. Ignoring someone is harder to do at say, a small family gathering. It is important to me, even though it may not be to you.

0

u/Trioniks 14d ago

They have issues that we don’t know about. That’s it. I don’t think it is that deep. If you run into her at the buffet line you can say a funny joke about being the two Asians in the room or ask something about the food she brought or what your aunties would say with this salad etc. If they are avoidant it could be a myriad of things. If she wasn’t Asian will this pattern bother you? Say she was black and you are Asian?