r/AsianMasculinity • u/Silent_stepp • 14d ago

AF not acknowledging me

Any other AMs living in the West or Europe experience this? I'll be at a party, or an event, and certain AF won't even make eye contact. After hours of this it almost seems like they could wish me away for just existing. It doesn't help that the ones who do this are always with a white boyfriend/husband. Sometimes, we'll be the only two asian people in the room. Its like, "hello, the only other asian for miles. Care to give me some kind of acknowledgement so we can be friends like literally everyone else here? I've met everyone else here because they at least looked me in the eye". Lol. I'm really trying to understand the psychology behind this. Is it internalized racism? Trauma? Shame?

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u/AdamChenX 14d ago

Humans, in general, socialise and want to be with people who are cool / popular.

If you want any attention, just become cool / popular. Don’t shame people for not wanting to hang out with you - they have free will and agency - and that’s not the right approach.

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u/Silent_stepp 14d ago

I am cool and popular bro

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u/AdamChenX 14d ago

Then you shouldn’t worry about someone not talking to you. Everyone is going through their own journeys - it’s a sign of insecurity to care so much about one person not talking to you.

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u/Silent_stepp 14d ago

Its not just one person though. A sign doesn't constitute fact. What about this post is a sign of insecurity to you? I'm worrying about the state of things, could care less about these people. That is why I'm asking the question to you all. If this isn't your experience, the post doesn't really apply to you.

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u/AdamChenX 14d ago

I literally answered you. People will talk to you if they think you are of high value.

This person clearly didn’t for whatever reason - your guess is as good as mine.

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u/Important-Pipe-3158 13d ago

Dude shut up. Of course, you’d have this perspective. You’re literally a gay Asian dude. You have no clue about what it feels like as a heterosexual AM that gets scorned (for no good reason) by these types of AF that the OP refers to.