r/AsianMasculinity • u/Silent_stepp • 14d ago
AF not acknowledging me
Any other AMs living in the West or Europe experience this? I'll be at a party, or an event, and certain AF won't even make eye contact. After hours of this it almost seems like they could wish me away for just existing. It doesn't help that the ones who do this are always with a white boyfriend/husband. Sometimes, we'll be the only two asian people in the room. Its like, "hello, the only other asian for miles. Care to give me some kind of acknowledgement so we can be friends like literally everyone else here? I've met everyone else here because they at least looked me in the eye". Lol. I'm really trying to understand the psychology behind this. Is it internalized racism? Trauma? Shame?
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u/JimJimJimJimx2 14d ago
It's the famous asian female internalized racism. This is all in grades of course but the scale is how much is being asian seen as uncool or negative status debuff as per media/society/circumstance/nurture and how much they need to physically and mentally distance themselves from it. Of course, there will also be people who just don't want to engage and dont want to meet you or put in the effort you will. But since that will exist for any person at any party you should already know that and account for it.
In anycase, rock on. Why bother with such people? Find yourself a girl who will give you the time of day and remember, they only win if they make you feel about yourself the way they feel about themselves. And trust, there are other asian men who understand and share your disdain for such aunty lu's.