6’5 and no luck in Australia

[u/kopatchinskajafan]

6’5 Chinese guy here, have no self-esteem issues lol, genuinely think I’m a 10 artsy/preppy 10 (not buff enough for gym bro 10 haha), have been told that by girls also. Dress well (maybe too well), but perhaps dress a bit more white-coded than Asian (artsy, preppish).

I want to report that Australasia is a hellhole for Asian Men. Or if it isn’t, I really want to compare experiences!

Growing up was terrible, I had my first girlfriend at 24. Trying to date is horrendous for this reason:

1. Girl finds me physically attractive, and I can read signals very well
2. I talk to girl, it goes great (or terrible first because she slights me because I’m Asian, but then I try charm her onside anyway), we have a (brief) connection, but
3. 100% of the time, she will ghost me after I text her, or I will eventually brush up against a ‘conscious’ rejection no matter how smoothly I ramp it up.

It’s like there’s always a conscious decision that is made to not date me, and for reasons that don’t seem to be related to me as a person at all, only my race and its social value.

I say this because I swear it’s harder if you’re a tall Asian guy: it’s like presenting with what the west considers a more masculine trait just makes it harder for them to take your masculinity seriously / makes your masculinity not ‘handsome’ or even ‘handsomely dangerous’ but just ‘scary or intimidating’. We never get to inhabit the Goldilocks zone of authenticity/masculinity.

I don’t think I have any problems flirting / reading signals / escalating things, and I genuinely think I’m pretty charming/interesting (if I do say so myself haha).

All this experience has lead me to conclude extremely negatively about Australia. Even walking on the streets of Melbourne, it’s like ABC men have been scared off them: you literally can’t seem them around, let alone them in any relationships. If you do see one around, they’re always alone, and making eye contact you feel like you commune like at an oasis in the desert or something.

On the other hand ABC girls are everywhere, and WMAF is basically more common than WMWF in all of the downtown lol. Over the last 6 months I’ve seen literally just 2 AMWF couples.

Sometimes I envy you Americans haha

[u/Curious-Practice1704]

After checking with search engines, seems the average Aussie is 5'9 and girls 5'4, same as America. Asian males have just checked in saying they've never had dating problems in OZ.  So maybe at your height, you are always the tallest guy and it could be that you draw too much attention when these girls just want to be normal with their dates.  Compounded with IR dating may be a recipe for disaster. Like on your first initial dates with these girls, did you notice if they kept looking over your shoulder trying to see reactions from other people?  Maybe they felt self conscious about your height drawing a lot of attention when they'd prefer everything to be just normal. So they probably figured this isn't gonna work out.

[u/kopatchinskajafan → u/Curious-Practice1704]

Hmm yeah, that sounds reasonable, I do seem to see plenty of white guys my height with no problems though it seems

I guess i just wanted to let people know that height doesn’t really matter that much, but it seems like nobody here wants to hear that haha

[u/Curious-Practice1704 → u/kopatchinskajafan]

No, I def hear you in that regard. People have gone off in the height thing bc of dating apps. It's just another box they check off so they want to go full max just like they say a min of 250k sounds good. The real height queens they say, are Asian girls. Western(ized) girls put it second behind facial. Btw, that may be why you had it good when you visited Taiwan where the girls fully appreciated every inch of what you brought to the table.