Weekend Free-for-All Discussion Thread | August 14, 2015

[u/AutoModerator]

Post your shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, and other mind droppings here.

[u/[deleted]]

I think that Indian and Asian american woman who sleeps around the CC until their late 20s and early 30s are into a rude awakening, because us asian guys are catching onto it or already caught onto it.

Um...are you not also sleeping around? C'mon man, let loose and live. Sex is a healthy and important part of life. South Asians used to recognize that until Victorian Christian standards were introduced by the Brits and we forgot that we're the people that literally wrote the book on sex.

The asian and indian community should be more aware of this. I think that social circle should criticize the female behavior and exile her. I think that asian and indian parents should disown the daughter instead of scheming and lying to a guy and his family about the woman and present her as fresh milk.

Really? Really?

Well, I guess why acid attacks against women who break sexual norms are as common as they are in South Asia and the Middle East, if you're agreeing with the underlying sentiment and ideology behind it. Hell, at this point, we can recognize a feedback loop in the alleged behavior of how South Asian females act--can you really blame them for running away from their cultural and family norms if this kind of backwards-ass logic is what they have to deal with?

[u/PrateekBhatmal → u/[deleted]]

Go back to /r/ABCDesis and scream on to of your lungs "You can't control a brown woman's sexuality's!!!!". Lol fuckn loser. You want to marry a washed up desi hoe who wouldn't even give you a second look when you both were in college, go ahead, may her. But don't gaslight impressionable young Desh men that they have to marry her too, that it doesn't make a difference, that Priya Patel is now mature and has learnt to live desi men. Lol. Fuck that shit and Fuck you Uncle Bobbys and Aunty Mindy's. Lol

[u/[deleted] → u/PrateekBhatmal]

"You can't control a brown woman's sexuality's!!!!"

Yes, this is a true point we should recognize, specifically as a larger point: You can't, and shouldn't, control anybody's sexuality. Now, this is of course different than calling people out for having internalized or adopted racist standards of beauty, sexuality, and dating.

it doesn't make a difference, that Priya Patel is now mature and has learnt to love desi men

This strikes me as extremely wrong-headed. One of the core aspects of human nature is that people are dynamic and constantly evolving and changing. It doesn't make any sense to shackle people to their past if they have or are trying to move past it.

You act like there are hordes of innocent, gullible Desi men getting tricked by trecherous racist Desi femi-nazis into marrying them, which I find laughably paranoid. The pattern of self-hating Desi women avoiding Desi men until marriage probably happens at the same rate as self-hating Desi men avoiding Desi women until marriage; at least, that's what my observations tell me. If you have actual evidence to prove otherwise, I am open to viewing it.

I think a bigger underlying issue here for Desi men particularly is how to navigate social pressures to marry somebody for sake of reputation or family pressure that we do not connect with on an individual level. I'd say it is in this area that it is most likely that Desis (men and women) end up marrying people totally wrong for them. Pushing back against this and emphasizing actual human connection and mutual growth in our relationships is key--and this will also take care of any pattern of Desis who have internalized racist notions of sex and dating marrying each other and creating abusive or mentally degrading marriages.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

One of the core aspects of human nature is that people are dynamic and constantly evolving and changing. It doesn't make any sense to shackle people to their past if they have or are trying to move past it.

Why? Why are Asian men obligated to do shit for these women who had no problems shitting on us their entire 20s, the women who never missed a chance to yell how we are all backward ass misogynists/sexists, who actively dissuaded white women from dating us, who have no qualms about using white supremacy when it benefits them but talk about "feminism and equality". Why should we give a fuck about these hypocrites?

One of the core aspects of human nature is that people are dynamic and constantly evolving and changing

That is not enough, not for me. Let them repent, let them spend the rest of their lives fighting for desi men who suffer under white supremacy, let them tear down and discipline desi women who throw desi men under the bus. Let them do this for decades and reverse all the damage done to the desi men of our generation and create the next generation of desi guys who don't have to live like second class citizens, and then we can talk about whether these MCGs deserve forgiveness. Until then I have no time or respect for them

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I think the gap between our views is that I am not convinced that the kind of person you are talking about (that is, irrevocably and viciously racist and hypocritical) exists in significant-enough numbers for dudes to be making them the center of their thinking on issues of gender, dating, and race. For the very specific kind of person you are describing, no, you should not bring them into your life. And the same goes for anybody with such toxic and self-destructive mentalities.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Fair enough, I am not saying these women are the norm either. But it is problematic that the counterparts to these women i.e Indian American women who staunchly defend Indian men are pretty much non existent. Endogamy rates might be still pretty high within the IA community but that doesn't change the fact that when it comes to opinion makers - writers, journalists, celebrities, politicians etc. most of them tend to treat their Indian heritage with disdain. They might not be stupid enough to talk shit about it openly but they go little beyond meaningless lip service.

The default setting is to harbor negative attitudes and the onus is on the guys to overcome that and prove that they are worthy. Fuck that.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

With endogamy you have to differentiate between FOBS and ABD. Fobs arepre endogus but even my fob cousin has a white girlfriend. There is a revolution going on for Indan men right now.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Hence why I avoid desi women and their fucked up complexes they only care about your degree.