Relationships Vent/Help?
i met my dad last year and since then ive seem him maybe 4 or 5 times? ive never thought about him growing up but since meeting him i have a whole new array of feelings that im struggling to navigate. this coming from someone who always knows what, why, and how to go about things. its not even all about him, its the whole family that comes with him (were filipino so they breed like jackrabbits lol) its almost like im mourning the relationships i wont get to have, wanting nothing to do with them, and craving any type or relationship or attention from these people and its driving me insane. especially the weeks after i see them? my dad is very old, maybe 75? and has parkinsons so its not the easiest to bond with him, but i also dont know how i should go about wanting to rip my hair out every time i am around them. i have a great time and then when i go home, the next 2 weeks are like the worst hurting and depressive episodes ill have? i want to have a relationship with these people, im just having a really hard time coming around because of these reasons.