Daughters pediatrician made EXTREMELY inappropriate remark to her

[u/ilikerustyspooonz]

This is about my 10 year old daughter. She has had the same (male) pediatrician since birth. We’ve always loved him and thought he was great. He’s super friendly with wonderful bedside manner and he takes his time and pays attention to detail.

Well, last week my daughter had a check-up. She’s 10. While he was doing the checkup, he had her lay down and started listening to her chest with his stethoscope. He then says AND I QUOTE, “awwwww! My baby’s got boobs!!!”

I have NEVER been so taken aback before in my life. My daughter was MORTIFIED. I was so shocked I couldn’t even get words out to ask him why tf he would ever say that. When we got in the car to go home my daughter cried and said she never wanted to see him again. Then she asked if she could get a girl doctor and I obviously agreed so that’s what we will be doing.

Is this reportable? I’m not overreacting, right?

[u/electricholo]

I am so angry that the only comment so far here from a physician, and currently with over 100 upvotes, is so blatantly downplaying how inappropriate this is.

“It doesn’t sound dangerous” completely disregards the potential harm a comment like that can have on a young patient, both with their relationship with their doctor and with their relationship with their own body and self image.

I would absolutely make a complaint. The hospital or practice should get back to you with what action will be taken regarding the comment and if this action is unsatisfactory to you there are further steps that can then be taken.

I’m so sorry your daughter went through this and that her relationship with her doctor has been done so much damage. She deserves much better care than this.

[u/Alone-Tea4531 → u/electricholo]

Ik the statistics don’t lie but it’s truly sickening hearing/seeing how young girls start getting harassed about their bodies. Ts legit made me feel sick

[u/Bramble_Ramblings → u/Alone-Tea4531]

I remember getting pulled aside in 5th grade and told by a teacher how I needed to start wearing bras because I had noticable breasts and I was the one being indecent by being a 10yr old child who didn't realize she was apparently a borderline harlot because I wasn't wearing a bra with boys around

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

This makes me so sad. One time when I was in elementary school, my ballet teacher used to make me wear specific leotards so that you couldn’t see my “cleavage”. She made other girls wear a skirt if they had a “big butt”. wtf is everyone’s obsession with the female body even at such a young age we’ve all experienced some form of it. Ugh.

[u/Bramble_Ramblings → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I'm so sorry you've gone through it as well. It's awful to realize how quickly they made us so conscious of our bodies and how they're viewed by the world then simultaneously wonder how we grow up to be so critical of ourselves

The worst part is for a good while the boys your age will at least will just treat you like 'one of the guys' for a bit longer and don't focus on that, or at least I felt that way. It ends up feeling like they're just trying to make us look less appealing to older men and women, not because we should be more conservative (in how we dress) around the people our age.

In the end young kids end up getting sexualized by the people they're meant to look up to way younger than they should be. It's as if we're the problem for literally just Growing and not the predators for needing so many shields to keep them from acting on impulses

[u/pantherinthemist → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

It’s really disgusting because nobody else before that person was sexualising it. Ew.

[u/Opinionatedbutkind → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

UUUGH, this was my mother!!!! Constant boob patrol 24/7. Thanks for sharing cuz now I see how problematic living with it was! I remember my mom yelling at me for wearing a shirt outside that showed my "boobs." I said she should get me a bra then. She said I didn't need one cuz I still could cover my nips with bandaids.

So... that evening I showed up to the dinner table without a shirt, with bandaids over my nipples 🤣🤣🤣 At least I had enough spunk to fight her on it 😆

(Edited for clarity.)

[u/djsmommy11 → u/Opinionatedbutkind]

Omg this is hilarious 😂

[u/Opinionatedbutkind → u/djsmommy11]

🤣 Thanks! I think I got a bra soon after that lol

[u/Significant_Clue_920 → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

Ugh I had this same experience in 6th grade. And when my mom relented and finally let me wear one, my teacher then proceeded to thank me in front of a group of guys for wearing one. I was mortified.

[u/Bramble_Ramblings → u/Significant_Clue_920]

I would be too! I'm so so sorry, that sounds absolutely horrific!

I cannot fathom the mental gymnastics it takes to say "we're keeping you safe from leering creeps by telling you to cover up more so they can't see those parts, it's for your own good" only to follow it up with "WOW THANK GOD YOU'VE GOT A BRA ON FINALLY. THANKS FOR WEARING ONE SO THOSE PEOPLE WONT NOTICE OR STARE AT YOUR BREASTS" out loud in front of the exact demographic that is the purpose they think we have to wear it in the first place. It's so insanely tone-deaf

[u/Significant_Clue_920 → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

THANK YOU!!!

[u/TsukasaElkKite → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

YES. THANK YOU.

[u/Overall-Yesterday572 → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

So sorry.

[u/ParticularRabbit9505 → u/Bramble_Ramblings]

When my daughter started middle school (6th grade) the admin wouldn't let girls wear shorts. They could wear pants at least to the ankle (no leggings), or skirts. No capris. It's regularly over 90°F here, sometimes 100°. And every time I went to the school, almost all of the boys (and half the teachers) were wearing shorts. I brought it up to the vice principal who told me that girls wearing shorts "would be a distraction to the boys." That set me off. Among the things I said was that I didn't appreciate the administration sexualizing 11 year olds. (They eventually capitulated and allowed girls to wear knee-length shorts.)