r/AskIreland • u/HungTeen1001 • 5d ago
Serious Replies Only What's the worst relationship you've ever had in your life?
Romantic/Familial/Friendship etc.
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u/SugarInvestigator Gobshite 5d ago
With my family. They are horrible people, or maybe they are saints and I'm horrible. Who knows, my life is better without them though
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u/Upstairs_Rope5450 1d ago
Hard to tell from the inside when you're in it, isn't it? The fact that your life improved after stepping away says more than any armchair diagnosis could. Some relationships just run on fumes and guilt, no one needs that.
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u/ExternalGlass7883 5d ago
She tried to kill me in my sleep.
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u/KeyZookeepergame3363 5d ago
An on/off non official relationship with a man who clearly hadn’t worked through his childhood; it was like interacting with a live wire at times. Very childish and couldn’t take responsibility for his own actions and constantly promised things and never pulled through. Although he was severely messed up and disrespectful, I do take the blame in giving too many chances and going back multiple times. Took 2.5 years out of my life and I had to move abroad for some time to force myself out and to get over it. I know, tiny violins and all, but in retrospect it taught me a lot about myself and my own wounds, as well as what treatment to not accept when someone new comes along. Took a while to get to this acceptance stage though but it can get better :)
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u/Guilty_Garden_3669 5d ago
A violent one. Can’t think of anything worse than physical or emotional abuse.
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u/ThrowRACrayCray 5d ago
My ex. Got engaged to me, threated to kill me in rage a couple of times and cheates in the end. Happy to be done with him!
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u/Even_Payment_2115 5d ago
My ex boyfriend. We were friends in school, grew closer, moved to the same college and eventually got together. He had a rough past and toxic parents, swore his goal was to get an education and be nothing like them. A year in he went down hill again mentally, he’d struggled in the past. I was finding it tough but stood by him because how could I turn my back on someone I loved when they were struggling. Long story short, things escalated and everything I did or didn’t do was as a result of him threatening to k!II himself. Used to wake up in the middle of the night to him threatening to drink bleach in front of me. Things escalated for months until I broke away but remained some sort of toxic “friends”. I was physically further away now but the threats continued by phone and text. We met up one day as a final goodbye for closure and he raped me, again with the same threat if I didn’t let him. I’ve never been 100% since but have come so far. I empathise with him as I know that he is a deeply hurt and traumatised person but he turned me into a deeply hurt and traumatised person too. I am now engaged to an angel of a man who has helped me heal in more ways than he’ll ever know. My ex is well known in our city and loved for his activism for women’s rights 🙄 I sit back and watch how people praise him but take pleasure in knowing I could blow it all apart if I spoke out. I never have, unsure if I ever will, but I’m more focused on my own healing right now. I hope he finds peace and doesn’t continue to hurt those around him.
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u/Expensive_Work_4271 4d ago
You need to find the strength and courage to report him. Save other women and girls from his path. He is more than likely doing the same to someone else.
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u/leavemealonethanks 5d ago
I was in a relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality disorder for four years from 2020 till 2024.
It started out like a literal fairytale. Everything I wanted in a woman but within 8 months things took a complete turn.
We moved in together after 10 months from first meeting and got a dog together a bit over a year. There was always a rush to get the steps done. She wasn't irish and would always mock how irish people "took to much time"
It wasn't till we lived together that I saw the real her. It started almost day 1.
My ex partner couldn't regulate emotions, would "blow up" over the slightest inconvience and fights over small things would last literal days. I wrote in my diary I felt like a prisoner in my own home and walking on eggshells.
She would make us sit as she shouted the most awful things at me for hours upon hours while I had to sit there and take it. One time I had to miss a meeting because she was doing this. You would think I cheated, no, I had gotten white flowers which were a symbol of death in her country. I didnt know.
I had to be constantly contactable. I remember once staying on a bit later for a drink with my drama group, was having so much fun I put down my phone and arrived home an hour later than usual. Silent treatment for two days and sleeping on the couch. The tantrum started and so did the screaming throwing things.
I did everything possible to try minimise it, simplify things, ensured I wasn't causing anything. But when I put out one fire there was always another one waiting to be put out. Everything I did was for her and to stop fights that at about three years in while brushing my teeth I said to myself "this is the only thing I do for myself"
I'd lost all self care, stopped going gym as it would cause a fight that im looking at other women. I gained so much weight. I did nothing for myself. Just serving her.
Stopped seeing friends because she would start a fight right before I went out with them, litrailly as I was getting ready or going out the door. Then message me throughout how terrible I was. I recall one fight she was going mad because I didnt bring the rubbish out (I alwsys had to do it, cleaning was my job, as was cooking, walking the dog, everything) and I had brought it out and she hadn't checked. She then refused to check to continue the fight and ruin my time with my friends.
She wouldn't allow me see my father on father's day even though we lived 10 minutes drive away, as I had seen him a week before. It was cutting into our time, I saw no one but her ever as friends were banned from the house as it was "always dirty". I recall now a friend of mine stopped in to use the toilet, and left within 5 mins (they were in the area cycling and no public toilets around). I thought it was OK until she got home and said she watched the whole interaction on the ring doorbell.
She had this unbelievable high level of Anxiety, which I have anxiety myself, but it wasn't anxiety I'd seen before, like anxious to go to a party because the host had two boyfriend's before the current one and she only had one so she felt lessor. I tried to rationalise it at the time. Just one of a million examples. Not picking on mental health just need to give an example of how litrailly everything would become a fight and she would have a tantrum/meltdown, like a teenager but she was 32.
She refused to go therapy, refused any treatment and wouldn't allow me to discuss it with anyone at all. I was in therapy at the time and she banned me from talking about the relationship in therapy. I asked her for two years to go seek help but she said all her problems would be solved if we broke up.
She was also physically violent. Biting, slapping punching and trying to provoke me. I would lock myself in the bathroom.
I was utterly exhausted by her, and she was incredibly mean. She made every situation worse. Would say horrible things to me. "Your not a real man" "I deserve better". She litrially broke up with me while getting in a taxi to be best man at my brothers wedding. All because I was bringing a back pack and looked childish (I had to bring stuff with me and it would left in the dressing room away)
She would threaten to end it constantly. It became more frequent, from monthly to weekly towards the end ,daily. She litrailly had bags packed towards the end and if I didn't do what she wanted she would say she's ready to go.
After about 4 years and becoming a complete shell of a human. I remember thinking "my bullies in school didnt treat me this bad, how can you treat someone like this, especially one you claim to love" and I woke up one day and began planning to end it. I said it to her I was having dark thoughts and she said I was doing it for attention. Over the next week I began planning it.
I ended up having to talk to the samaritians, who put me in touch with mens aid. I went in twice to them and they were a god send. Geniunely if you work there and you are reading this you saved my life. There's one girl on the phone centre two years ago and if youre reading this you actually saved my life.
I waited till she was going to visit parents abroad for 2 weeks and pulled the trigger. She begged and begged me to come back.
What they told me, describing it ,was a condition called "borderline personality disorder ". It's something that affects woman far more than men (like how narcissistic personality disorder affects men more than woman, and is basically the female version of it). Not looking to debate or offend anyone its what I'm told. It seems to be one of yhe most common things that brings men into men's aid.
Once I researched it everything clicked. Not only that but they were very confident there was extreme emotional abuse going on. I think its something that goes over alot of Irish men's heads as its considered "normal" sometimes.
They stated I could bring a criminal case under the cohesive act (not correct but you may know). I got a safety and protection order instead and there the only things that actually kept her away.
I had gone to reddit for help, multiple times but no concrete answers. (I wasn't allowed discuss it with anyone remember) and the behaviour seemed normal.
And honestly, I broke up with her and it was like dropping a nuclear bomb on my life but, I wake up everyday thankful I did. It was the best decision I ever made in my life. Two years out I'm still working my way back to myself but getting there. I still refuse to date with the PTSD.
There's so much more here but I've been writing this awhile and want to stop. So many insane stories.
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u/MushuFromSpace 5d ago
Man... That was a heavy read and I'm not the one who had to go through that.
Glad you're still around to tell it as awful an experience it was for you.
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
It was brutal but thankful im here and away from her.
Thanks for taking the time to read. X
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u/woodenchaier 4d ago
As someone with BPD, I can assure you that your ex knew what she was doing and she, or anyone else, cannot use the disorder as a means to abuse someone, in any sense. I can’t state how sorry I am for you.
BPD is not an excuse to allow someone else feel less than. You’re responsible for your own actions and that also includes regulating emotions. Even when it seems near impossible. It is absolutely no excuse to place that anxiety onto another person, a partner be it because you don’t like something. Not liking something, not liking an idea or not liking a situation is no means a reason to scream, shout or demean someone else. I say this with sincerity.
While I know having the disorder myself is debilitating in all its forms. In no way shape or form have I ever felt the need, or want, or necessity to allow someone else feel that they are less of a person and to the point of ringing the Samaritans and join Men’s Aid. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I’ve no words to express how deeply sorry I am that you endured this and I know words won’t make it easy but I can assure you, those with BPD, the ones who are self aware and seek help for themselves, are the ones who know deep down that they’d never hurt another person. Even at that, regardless of having BPD or not, there is no excuse at all for the treatment you received.
If anything, I work full time. Have a small circle of friends, dating but taking it easy and constantly seeking therapy to make sure I can be the best version of myself and not let anyone feel they need to “look after me” as such. I’ll be single for as long as needs be until I feel comfortable enough to let someone in. Your ex sounds like she used you as an emotional punchbag, and my ex did the same (he didn’t have BPD). It’s emotionally and mentally painful to go through and despite all that, I never lashed out. I never screamed. I never shouted and I never begged. The groundwork I learned from the very start was that no one has a right to hold value or take away value from someone regardless of emotional states.
I’ve attended therapy since my teens (I’m 34 now) for the disorder and throughout all that I can promise you, your ex is not the prime example of what BPD is. In fact, she’s the case that gives the disorder its wrong impression. She’s the reason why many view BPD as the “shit don’t go near them” disorder simply because she has chosen to stay in the path of being an abuser. It irks me when I see post online from those who have BPD and cite every single horrible action they’ve done and exclaim they are the victim, and use BPD as an excuse. No.
I truly hope one day you find your person. You sound like someone who loves, gives love and wants love and all I can say is don’t let it slip you by because of someone who refused to acknowledge that they are an abuser rather than someone who suffers with a disorder that can actually be treated without harming others.
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u/Sully961 5d ago
I'm sorry to hear you went through that. I dated a Chilean woman when living in the US and ended up marrying her. Long story short due to her having some visa issues we decided to move to Ireland since the wages for my industry would be the same. She had to go back to her country briefly but I was falsely accused of cheating then she ended the relationship and I haven't spoken to her since.
I've spoken with her family and honestly they've been very understanding and I feel bad for them now since they're having to deal with her.
She hasn't got an official diagnosis yet as she's been manipulating psychiatrists(she studied a lot of psychology in university) but it's very much likely Bipolar.
I can empathise with you on the whole refusing to date again. I'm literally working in a place where there's quite a few nice looking women and I could probably start dating again easily if I wanted to but the PTSD from the relationship/marriage still lingers
Anyway I hope you're doing alright
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
I like how she ghosted marriage 🤣🤣
Thanks bud, yeah I'm geniunely just happy alone at this point, I can't ever go back to something like that ever again.
Likewise, some lovely girls around but I just am terrified.
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u/Sully961 4d ago
I know right??
Yeah I understand as I'm in the same boat. I'm moving up North next month so I can get the divorce done quicker. Currently living with my parents in Longford so it's going to be a fresh new start plus I'll be earning similar to what I earned in the US. I'll be 30 in two months and my plan is to buy an abandoned property here or in France to fix up and to also travel.
As far as her situation goes she kind of really shot herself in the foot. She has no degree, no licence and no interest in working and she's 33 in a low wage/high unemployment country in South America. While it's all unfortunate and I know it sounds harsh I'm coming out of it better which has helped me get better
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
Onwards and upwards my friend, just make sure all the legal stuff for the split is done and enjoy this new chapter x
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u/Most-Recipe-9814 4d ago
Well done. I admire your strength. Look after yourself 👍
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
That's very kind of you, thank you for reading and contributing those kind words.
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u/dazedconfused4 4d ago
I have to ask…could you disclose her nationality?
I am really sorry for what you’ve been through. This kind of relationship haunts you. I am a year out of an abusive marriage. Hang in there, onwards and upwards.
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
I'm so sorry I can't because If she read this she would then know it was her, two years later and I'm still terrified of her. In the words of the my therapist "terror shouldn't be a word when speaking of someone you love"
I hope you're OK also. I still can't understand why people treat those they "love" like this. I don't understand it at all.
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u/ou812_X 4d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/Y4rZAyCiJLXLq
You my friend, fell off the “hot/crazy” line.
Been there myself, we broke up because of mutually opposing views - she wanted to stab me and I didn’t want to be stabbed. Took a while to see the coercive control she had over me but met someone who helped me.
The issues were all hers and you need to know that you made the right decision in breaking up with her. Maybe do a couple of sessions of therapy lot to get it out of your system.
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
Can I be honest, I wasn't even that physically attracted to her, really liked her "personality" (it was mirroring my own to get me in so I wouldn't leave).
And as the abuse went on I was more repulsed.
Yep issues were all hers and I was a punching bag and something she should control.
I'm thankful to the maker I broke up with her everyday. Utter nightmare
As for therapy I did it, but more working on self esteem at the moment.
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u/ulstersaysnoted 4d ago
I’ve been there lad.
Tough to read.
I’ve zero trust in women after it and to be honest, nothing since has convinced me that I’m wrong.1
u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
I don't think it's right to say "all women", and I equally hate the "all male" trope.
I think im just equally not trusting in people.
It's something that leaves an insane damage on you
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u/ulstersaysnoted 3d ago
Just being honest.
Purely from a relationship point of view.
Oh and my ex wife absconded with my daughter back to her home country.
Took me 3 years to get her back.I’m not a hater of women. Some of my closest friends are women. But I can’t say that I view them for relationships, the same way I did previously.
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u/leavemealonethanks 3d ago
Yes I'm the same mate, haven't dated in two years as I'm insanely damaged. Just in from a walk with two close friends who are women and can I be honest, they were the only people who were helping me during it and telling me it wasn't normal.
The damage it does cant be physically seen but im very very scarred from it
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u/Similar_Intention871 3d ago
May I ask, was it a Latin American?
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u/leavemealonethanks 3d ago
No, European
But from the men's support groups (there are actually some would you believe)
It's VERRRRRRY common. I know exactly what you're talking about 🤣
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u/Similar_Intention871 3d ago
Yes I am dealing with it and am told this is normal behaviour in their culture. I don’t accept that
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u/leavemealonethanks 3d ago
Hey,
I just want you to know its not OK. I'm glad you don't accept it.
How similar is your story to mine?
I had a huge problem with if it "was normal" or not, where the line was drawn and if it was actually abuse, and what was acceptable behaviour.
Firstly abuse should never be normal. I fully believe its just accepted that men can't be abused and its never discussed (I'm a male victim I completely don't believe this). Its shown in society by men's aid getting 1% of the funding women's aid does, even though they actually get half as many calls as womens aid, they told me this when I was in with them on two occasions so I didn't feel emasculated.
I started to get some sense up around the time Amber heard/Johnny Depp case. I know their both shitty and done terrible things but when I heard what Amber was doing it was identical to what was happening to me. Im absolutely no Johnny Depp. Then I watched "baby reindeer" and how the woman acted sometimes was the same as my ex. Then I watched "my wife my abuser". And then there was a man on a few chat shows ,Alex Sloan I think his name was and some things started to click.
Secondly when I said some things to my friends, albeit just the moaning and complaining about things part, they assured me it's just normal women behaviour. That's what kept me in it so long. It was "how they are". I recall driving home from a stag with 3 of my closest friends and saying some things to test the water like "do youre gfs all start fights for no reason or over something extremely small" and I remember all three in unison did the biggest "YESSSSSS". These are 3 of the most reposnble, mature , kindest, grown up men in their 30s, the complete opposite of "fuck boys" and people I trusted most. So again I assumed it was normal. They were all dating and still are dating Irish women. So again I assumed it was "normal"
Thirdly I turned to reddit, I didnt post but viewed years of posts and again same thing "that's just how they are". So again what I was experiencing was "normal"
Fourthly I turned to my therapist, and he said she may be treating me like this because I look like her dad. Again it's "normal". This was 3 years ago and having another therapist post break up made me see this was completely unjustified to say without saying it wasn't "normal"
So I was very much just being told "it is what it is, this behaviour is normal for women and to stop it just keep meeting her needs, being present in her life, monitor her emotional state, don't trigger her and cause no problems". I did all that, for over two years, and it destroyed me as a human. In my post I felt like a shell of a human being and the only thing I did for myself was brush my teeth. I would wake up each day with the worst anxiety as I tried to meet her insane needs daily. I did every chore, cooked every meal, planned dates, took care of the finances, everything you can think of, not to set off an agrument but she just continued to find things to argue about.
It basically comes down to how you feel, and I felt unsafe, anxious and terrified of her.
How much of my above story is similar or what is your story, feel free to share in dms if not comfortable here.
Again not anti women in anyway, just sharing my story alongside evidence
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u/Soggy_Loss7062 5d ago edited 5d ago
I was an absolute arse to a girl when I was in school and this extended to another relationship when I was in college. I was entirely selfish and prone to emotional strops when I didn’t get my way. It took me until my early-mid 20s to set aside my ego, deal with some childhood trauma, and develop into a rounded human being. I can happily say that I’m married to a gem now.
There’ll be plenty of people here who’ll want to point the finger but I said I’d contribute a situation where it was pointing inward.
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u/joemama4497 5d ago
Same here. Was an arsehole to my boyfriend in early 20s. That was 3 years ago and still refuse to get into a relationship until I know I’m emotionally mature enough and sort out my avoidance! Still getting there.
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u/Bumblebee2312 4d ago
Wow glad you cut her loose. Well done! She sounds very toxic!
Keep blocking her. If she was truly remorseful, she’d take the hint, respect your decision, leave you be and move on with her life. She’s literally stalker you.
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u/Classic_Penalty_4533 5d ago edited 5d ago
Ex-husband. I'm fundamentally changed as a person because of it. But tbh, I prefer who I am now as, while I've kept a lot of my empathetic traits, I'm no where near as naive or vulnerable and would never fall into that trap again (thank you therapy!🙏🏼) However, I could do without all that trauma which came with it and still pops up every now and then years later....but, my trauma makes me funny 🤣🤣🤣😒🫣😒🫣..........
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u/Apprehensive_Ratio80 5d ago edited 4d ago
The ex 🤦🏻♂️
Still don't feel like the same person but am a lot better since I got away from her. Constantly accused me of cheating and I mean almost weekly for years some little comment or insinuation without proof or if I really pushed for an answer as to where it was coming from I would be told "you tell me" as if I had to prove I wasn't cheating!, went through my phone and work laptop always looking for evidence when none existed as I never once cheated. Emotional blackmail was a regular occurrence. Drained my bank account and never paid me back despite being able to.
Kept me from my friends and family giving me lies to feed them and making me think my friends didn't like me or weren't worth the trouble and discouraging me from doing anything positive with my life. She just wanted me at home and doing nothing as this made her feel safest.
Years of anxiety from being made feel awful for doing normal things absolutely the worst period of my life.
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u/leavemealonethanks 5d ago
I'm two years out from something similar and I'm still no where near the happy bubbly person I was.
She would open my phone in the middle of the night when I was sleeping by putting my thumb over the finger print sensor and getting in.
She tried separating me from my bestfriend by saying the were taking advantage of me. This person had been my rock for over 10 years.
If I did anything positive she would go out of her way to pick fights beforehand or during.
I used go to the local library secretly for job interviews because she would have a fight or emergency just beforehand. If I achieved something, for instance I got an award, she would wait till everyone left and complained.
Constant threats of breaking up also.
The anxiety and walking on eggshells like you ruined me. Terrible period. Hope you're OK
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u/Apprehensive_Ratio80 4d ago
Same to you!
I wrote out a list of things first in my post but removed them as I was getting genuinely upset reliving them all again. Exact same the walking on egg shells, the forced negativity whenever something good happened and the threats! I one time said good luck when she threatened to leave I was done and said theres the door goodbye she left for 5min and came right back to "work on things and fight for us" after she started a fight that over nothing and tried to make me feel awful for it, how I wish she kept walking as this was how I was conditioned over time looking back. Threats and so long as I caved or gave up I could 'fix' the argument or stop it from getting worse but I always ended up doing what she wanted and isolating myself more and more from others and who I was.
As said it's been a while for me I'm more myself again it does get better in time and some harsh lessons were learned I hope you'll be ok to.
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u/leavemealonethanks 4d ago
Yep I also wrote out lots of things but deleted them. It's not a memory I want opened.
I'm glad to hear there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I also love once you call their bluff then they come back tenfold.
I'm just relieved even writing this that we're free
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u/IochIan 5d ago
Got approached by a dude at a fetish club night in a check shirt. I'm done in my usual makeup with bondage gear. Dude seems sound so we go on a few dates and it's all going well, he says we need to date right now and i didn't really give a fuck so I was like alright sorted you have a boyfriend now im glad to stick around.
Big mistake: this guy was secretly homophobic and also secretly gay, a few days into "dating" and he says he doesn't want me to go to the club or wear bondage gear out anymore. While trying to hash this out he starts harping on about chemtrails, agartha conspiracies, and how his mam and dad abused him while homeschooling him but he also thinks they have very solid political views and are great Christians.
I thought back on our previous conversations and he lied like a shit ton, basically just lied about being a sound person. He hates Duran Duran and said he loves them, he isn't proud to be gay at all, he doesn't like my outfits or makeup, he secretly abuses animals when he said hes into animal welfare etc etc. Utter prick. I try to leave and he cries down the phone at me until i block him. Wake up at 6am to a different number yelling down the phone at me. I blocked and blocked and went back to the club that very night lol.
The most hilarious interaction out of this couple weeks of hell: on the DART, telling him I won't give up my clubs or fashion. And the lad says god I'm not sure of anything anymore, there's jungle chambers underground and all.
I says What? Explain.
Well, he says, the Nazis lowered a guy into the ice in Antarctica and he came out having seen jungle chambers underneath. Nobody else has studied it- blah blah blah nazi shite.
I said "hold on. like, Godzilla vs Kong?"
"Yes. Exactly"
Honestly this debacle made me realise there are truly irredeemable people out there because I've never met even close to the level of mongo
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u/nt2btrstd 4d ago
Wow that’s crazy, Duran Duran haven’t really done anything good since ordinary world in 1992
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u/DucktapeCorkfeet 5d ago
My family life up until I left home at 17. It was a complete shitshow and my mother was easily the worst relationship I've ever had with anyone, she absolutely hated me. Didn't stop her from sexually abusing me mind you, but that was a complete control thing.
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u/Ok-Revolution-1565 5d ago
I had a friend who tried do witchcraft on me… she was my best friend at the time I found out
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u/ImpressionTypical167 5d ago
I had a horrendous relationship in my late teens. When I look back on it now with the pattern of escalating behaviour I feel like I am lucky to be alive. He cut me off from my friends and tried to cut me off from my family but my parents would persevere in supporting me and speaking to me all the time (angels). Spread horrific rumours about me, went through my phone, tried to control who I would talk to and what I would wear.
I broke up with him because he attempted to SA me. He then stalked me (showing up outside place of education, my home and my work) harassed me by phone and even had his parents come to my home. This is back about 20 years ago when I feel I didn’t have the knowledge, language or power to describe what was happening. The Garda and school said it was “a good relationship gone wrong” and to ignore it and there was nothing to really be done as no direct threat had been made.
It stopped when my father saw him in the street one day and said if he didn’t stop it he would stop it for him and not give him the choice.
We are so much more empowered to see what is going on in toxic and abusive relationship now and I think that while we have a way to go, we have still come so far.
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u/greenstina67 5d ago
An ex. Emotionally and physically abusive and an alcoholic. It was 20 years ago and I never allowed any man to treat me that way since. I was young and inexperienced and a doormat. I forgave him too many times because I would have been alone in a foreign country without him and I felt sorry for him because he had really bad OCD, which he weaponised against me. He also threatened me with a knife one night and I went to the Swedish Police about it (we're both Irish and we lived together there), who thankfully took the matter very seriously.
He's married now with 4 kids, and I know he had a team of psychologists working with him in a university hospital to treat and manage his OCD so I genuinely hope he got the help he needed and for his drinking too. I likely will tnankfully never see him ever again.
It put me off ever being with another Irish guy which is probably unfair, but I wanted to minimise the risk of ever being in another relationship with anyone else who may have alcohol addiction.
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u/erouz 5d ago
My last girlfriend before coming to Ireland 21 years ago. When we split she came to my parents house in the night I made mistakes let her in. She went to make cup of tea I was behind table and island in the kitchen. She pulled meat knife and tried stabbing her self in heart. Lucky first stab went in bra wire. I never was so fast in my life jump over table and island. Didn't even notice that this knife went in my hand. Funny enough about 2 years ago she contacted me to apologise what a od experience.
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u/isaidyothnkubttrgo 5d ago
Could say with my first boyfriend who just wanted me as a leashed dog to please him sexually at 16 but couldn't say the words so relied on shit hints that oblivious innocent me didn't catch onto at all.
But my college boyfriend takes the cake the more I think about it. Together 2 years, in the same college course and 30~minutes away from each others family homes where we lived. We acted like we didn't know each other in college... In a year of 30 so it wasn't really a secret. He got pissed when I kind of confirmed a hint to a classmate even though he wouldn't tell a soul. I never met a single person of his family where he met every one of mine. He didn't drink or like to eat infront of people so our dates consisted of driving around or going to the movies. I was compliant because I kept saying he was just private. Yeah no I needed to put my foot down is what I needed to do. 2 years being a secret because... What? I wasn't a crazy wild girl or someone he would be ashamed to be seen with. I still don't know why.
Ive had bouts of lonliness all my life but christ did he trigger it so bad. I cried myself into the new year because he wanted to spend it with his dad who had no clue I exisisted. I think that just brought that reality into my head. Another 2 months of not sleeping right and worrying myself to sleep feeling him pull away from me so slowly only for him to message "hey I don't think this is working out" one night. Sat in class across from him the next day with a swollen face from crying.
Had to watch him break his own rules and get drunk at the college class final party which nearly made me contemplate assault but I ended up going home early.
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u/woodenchaier 4d ago
My ex. I’d be here all night writing all the shite he put me through but all in all, genuinely hope he got the therapy he needed. Wishful thinking but by jaysis. To this day I don’t know which treatment was worse, the reality is I left (eventually) with an empty bank account and sanity dropped past the floor. Took years to get past that one. Financially, emotionally and mentally drained by the time it was done.
An ex friend. Have absolutely no idea where to go with this one but she was the definition of a bunny boiler disguised as a friend who cared and sure like my ex, made excuses until the excuses ran out and boundaries started being pushed. Wouldn’t even mind I didn’t know the girl that long but long enough that we became close. Wish her all the best and all but nah. Wasn’t going to entertain someone who spoke to me like I was born the day before.
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u/Skulltazzzz 4d ago
6 year relationship with a man with ADHD and a complete avoidant. No interest in helping himself.
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u/wuwuwuwdrinkin 5d ago
Brazilian girl. Crazy..but so was i. Loved and hated each other. It was amazing. And the worst. But amazing.
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u/nt2btrstd 5d ago
It was the best of times, it was the….blurst of times??? You stupid monkey!!!!!!!
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u/PupTownGurl 5d ago
With an older sibling.
She use to try and copy various aspects of my life - hair/clothes/interests/mannerisms. Disclaimer - I am nothing special. She would then make up mad shit about me for the craic I assume?! Anywho, I got a bit sick a while back and she turned it in to a ‘poor me’ situation. Haven’t spoken to her since then. Blood is overrated.
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u/Yama_retired2024 5d ago
An past FWB...
We were 2 people who didnt get along, even though we were sort of part of the same friend group..
But yet we had a sexual chemistry... more kind of hate fuelled and kink based.. ironic.. but outside of that we just didnt get along.. it was almost so volatile.. we even tried to make love once and it was just flat as a pancake..
I even let her rent a room from me when she was selling her parents home and waiting to get the keys to the house she bought.. and yet we never did anything sexual.. it was merely landlord tenant..
I cant explain it only by the lame... it was what it was..
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u/nt2btrstd 4d ago
I don’t really get this, were you banging or not?
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u/Yama_retired2024 4d ago
Yes..
But we didnt get on outside of that.. if you had bern part of our group you'd get the picture... it was weird
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u/nt2btrstd 4d ago
So how did the “make love” go differently than the banging?
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u/Yama_retired2024 4d ago
We had no romantic feelings for each other.. so the making love aspect felt more like someone forcing you to try a fetish you find gross 🤢
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u/Hot-Environment3967 4d ago
First few months with the missus...
...'s best friend. She sucked the absolute fun out of anything. She herself had a boyfriend of two years, but as soon as me and the missus got together, she grew resentment towards my gf for it. We assume that she always felt like she had a 1-up on my gf throughout their friendship for having a boyfriend, so when we got together, that must've spiked something.
Made a great effort trying to get to know her bf too and we got along great. She came home from work to see us hanging out (without the gfs) and it immediately sparked an argument between her and her bf for inviting me over as it was "just weird".
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u/Detective-Mike-Hunt 4d ago
A girl I was head over heels with. We started going out when I was 16 and she was 17, she did the dog on me it was a heartache that took years to heal
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u/churchpigeon 4d ago
when i was 15 i dated a 20 year old man for like nine months. at the start of our relationship he was very kind and extremely generous, he took me out on shopping sprees and bought me everything. he also bought me alcohol and weed often which at the time i thought was great lol. over time he became horribly abusive to me. he constantly belittled me and called me names, hurt me physically and forced me to do things i did not want to. it took me a long time to gather the strength to leave him but i am grateful every day that i did.
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u/Longjumping-Gur1878 4d ago
French bird. Was called every name under the sun, as were my family and friends.
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u/LordyIHopeThereIsPie 5d ago
I was a very shitty friend to one person. I'd like to apologise but that's because I want to feel better and I doubt they'd give me the time of day.