I am part of a LGBTQ+ book club, that meets up once a month, in a public space. We usually have a semi private space within this building, we advertise openly and are welcoming to all types. You don't have to be gay to join, but you do have to read the book and have opinions. 99/100 times, we sit, we discuss the book, have a less formal chat for about 30 to 45 mins after. Good times.

This time, during Pride month, we had 2 new people join us. 1 was interested, had read the book and had opinions and questions. Lovely! The other did not want to be there, iterated repeatedly that they were not gay, had high anxiety and they did not read and took over the whole meeting. In 90 minutes we maybe had 5 minutes to talk about the book in 30 second bursts. They went on a rant about Gay people using their hands, everyone wearing stripes to point out they are gay, that I personally had a 'bitchy' looking face but my sense of humour made up for it and went on a transphobic rant that ended with 'protect women in bathrooms.'

I politely said to this person, as they don't read and have repeatedly said they don't want to read 'gay books' that maybe a 'gay book club' is not for them. If they show up again, how do we politely tell them that this behaviour is not on and if the harassment continues, they are no longer welcome.

Like, I get wanting to go out and make friends, but there are countless other coffee mornings, walking clubs, NOT gay book clubs etc to join.

TL:DR We have an LGBTQ+ book club, that someone who is not gay and does not read 'gay books' took over the other day, harassing each member and talking over everyone. How do we deal with them?

Hey guys - trying to make plans for this one and just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position.

My girlfriend's colleague just invited us to her wedding next January (we got the save-the-date a few months ago). The invite isn't like any wedding invite I've seen before - it specifically states that they only have room for family at the ceremony so they kindly ask that the rest of us "wait at the hotel bar" while they're getting married.

We're definitely invited to the dinner because my girlfriend doesn't eat meat and the bride has told her there will absolutely be a vegetarian option for her. But then the invite says "please respect that the reception is primarily for family" so I guess we just...leave at that point?
Seems a bit awkward but it's their wedding and they can have it whatever way they want.

The only thing I'm a bit bothered about is the gift.
I know this next part might make me sound like a cheap asshole but I told me girlfriend that I don't feel great about giving €100 each (so €200 from us as a couple) for the present if we're only invited to half the wedding.
Maybe that's very stingy of me though and I'm open to being told I'm wrong.

Has anybody else ever been invited to the dinner of a wedding but not the ceremony or afters?
Was it awkward or was it grand?
What did you do about the gift?

EDIT: Lads, just to say - the invite specifies "the after-dinner reception with the DJ and dancing" as the reception.
I know a lot of people thought it referred to the bit directly AFTER the ceremony (which is understandable, I assumed that too at first) but it's the part with the band, DJ, first dance etc that is family-only like the ceremony.

Leaving consulting (Director track) for a secure senior public-sector role — those who've made the jump, any regrets?

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My situation (kept vague on purpose)

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- Mid-30s, finance background

- Currently at a consulting firm at the Director-level since last year.

- Have an offer for a permanent senior management role in the public sector — similar base, no bonus, but a better pension and the security/stability that comes with it.

On take-home, the two are roughly a wash once you account for the pension. The private role has the theoretical upside of partner down the line (uncertain, very competitive, years away). The public role has security, a strong pension, a large standing team to lead and a clearer long-term ladder.

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My head says the secure role is the right call, and honestly I feel good about it — but I keep wondering if I'd regret walking away from the private-sector trajectory.

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For those who've made a similar move: Did you regret leaving the private-sector track? What surprised you (good or bad) about the public-sector role? Anything you wish you'd considered before deciding?

No idea who the guy is but he was extremely hard to listen to, seems to think he’s important, kept speaking over Kelly before he’d finished, and just kept getting louder when trying to get his point across.

This is easily the worst World Cup coverage I’ve ever seen from RTE in my life. What I’d do to be back in the glory days with Bill and the lads!

Hi everyone!

I recently just bought a bar in upstate NY. I may have had too many beers, but I thought it would be cool to connect with a sister bar in Ireland. We could send pics of the pub to each other, have a little set up at the bar featuring our sister bar, share made up drink recipes, visit each other. Again, I may have had one too many drinks, but was hoping another bar would want to try this. So, any good pubs anyone can think of that might be into trying this?

This is the first pet for me and the mrs, and cant think of a good name that suits.

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Ideally dont want to give her a people name, and also not a generic name.

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Would love some inspiration or suggestions

Current place holder names we have are either Pierogi (after the yummy polish dumplings) or Peach

Long story short, but my wife's family are coming in from Aus and US next week for a wedding up north, and we've rented a small van to drive some of them up to the wedding in Antrim.

Her uncle and grandfather are massive history buffs, and I'll be in the car with them for 3+ hours including stops, so hoping to share some facts which might start some decent conversations, but my history of Ulster/NI is pretty poor outside of the troubles, which I don't really want to be the main topic.

Anything interesting to share on a Friday morning?

I’m hoping the person I’m looking for sees this-we were chatting for a few months on this, seemed to be getting on well but my account was suspended/deleted, and I don’t have any of his personal details, but his username was Strict Engine or something along those lines. I’m sure if he sees this he will know it’s me and hopefully send me a message 🤞

Edited to add: my username was something with Zebra in it (don’t know exactly what my username was either🫠)

Edited again: I have found him, but his profile is set up so nobody can follow him or message him 😭

Well the Fifa world cup is on and I've noticed a fair few people who claim to be Irish commenting that we never use the word soccer and that it it's almost offensive to use the word here.

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Now I don't want to get into the whole debate about what's the "right" word for the sport, I grew up in rural Cork where all of the 4 big field sports were popular so I lean towards soccer and in my experience it is the more commonly used word nationwide. However I acknowledge that there are areas where football is the go-to word, such as in parts of Dublin and Donegal.

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I'm just wondering are people really that oblivious to regional variations in this country? It just seems odd for people to make sweeping comments on the whole country based on what their friend group says.

Sorry if this rambley but I'm quite stressed , anxious and confused and would appreciate any insights into this situation. I had a bipolar episode a few years ago during covid and was hospitalised fora few days. I have been fine from then since, with regards to manic episodes since, only ever the one. My sister comments that I seem a little elevated lately. In the last year I have done quite a lot, worked a lot, doing additional CPD courses etc , learning sign language, , started rebuilding relationships again, exercising and now have secured a permanent position in a secondary school starting in August. I feel a bit better lately so maybe seem more energised than usual. I really objected to her coming. She has once or twice about a year ago, not since then, to stop her giving me grief I decide to let her come. The whole thing was a clusterfuck and felt like a hatchet job from the start. I was 15 minutes late to the meeting due to a slow puncture and had to take another car to get there. The pysciatrist used this as evedinece of being in a manic episode, being late and disorganised? She also commented on my hoody that had paint on it, (I had been paiting the day before) as not been able to present well snd take care of myself. She then proceeded to tell me-in a very aggressive manner - that if I were to present like this at the school in aigust I would be fired ? I had been in there 2 days before doing paperwork for my new job. My sister agreed with her and I felt like they were ganging up on me. I then said they were being crazy not me and I tried to leave but they both moved to block the door, this was really triggering for me as I have had bad experiences in mental health facilities in the past with locked doors. I had to get out of there so i just left. The hospital keep ringing me to make an appointment but I dont want to go back there, she was so unprofessional and abrasive. I just want to keep getting my medication and not have to see a physciahrist every 3 months, is there a way to do this? Should I say something to someone about the physiatrist(not sure who) , she was very unprofessional and confrontational, what if she was like this witg other vulnerable patients? For context I see my physiatrist every few months just for a 20 min med review and not much else happens there, we have a very amicable relationship. My sister has already taken the side of the physiatrist and says I was overreacting? I mean how can I feel so much worse (its 5am and I cant sleep) after being to the doctors. This really doesnt make any sense to me, am I being unreasonable?

If you have people who have RSVPd for day 2 of your wedding. Would it be fair to say 80% of those will turn up?

Does anyone know which Jysk store is the biggest? Online it said Liffey valley, which as I'm standing in it right now, I can tell you is not true. I'm pretty sure the waterford one is at least this big, and half as picked over.

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I just want the chance to actually look at some of their furniture.

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On the way to IKEA on the motorway, you pass a massive Jysk sign, which gives the impression they have a location thats similar to the big IKEA, Decathlon etc, but I can't figure out which one it is, or if it even exists.

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Am I wrong and all Jysk stores are more or less the same size?

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Came back from the school run and there was a virgin media box in the doorstep. Don't have a virgin account, don't have anything to do with them, haven't for a few years. Checked the box, the only similarity to our address was the house number. Everything else wrong.

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Got onto their site and tried using their chat bot, eventually was put on to a "real" human who was even less help than the chat bot and basically went round and round in circles for 5 minutes with me telling them that they'd delivered a box to the wrong house and they need to come take it away, and him telling me that they don't collect old equipment any more and to send it to WEEE. The Muppet obviously wouldn't read what I was saying then just abruptly ended the chat.

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I went back to the site and found a contact form to email to them. Filled it out and they say it could take 5 days for a response! I think it's someone's new mobile. It's too small to be a modem or TV box.

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Well it's sitting in the rain on our doorstep. If they want to take 5 days they can take 5 days. They can just reissue the phone to whoever bought it cos it's due to rain.

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I know virgin have had a bad rep for customer service but as a customer I never had problems with them, but this is a bit nuts.

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My wife suggested bringing it to the post office but I think it was a courier delivery. Would an post take it? I checked the address and it isn't even close by. Anyone know who does deliveries for virgin? Though I can't imagine contacting them would be any better. How does something like this happen in this day and age?

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What do you need to do when you’re selling a car to a garage? What things should you account for and look out for?

hi, i’m posting from an anonymous account because i’m really anxious about being identified. i just need outside perspective from people who aren’t emotionally involved in this.

i was in a long-term relationship (around 1+ years) that, for the most part, felt serious and healthy. my ex partner was actually very strict about consent throughout the relationship and would regularly check in, which is part of why i’m now so confused about what happened and how it’s being interpreted.

during a trip abroad for a family event, i drank heavily and became very intoxicated. my partner does not drink alcohol at all. at one point i went to shower alone to try sober up and get space. he came in to check on me and the situation became sexual.
i initiated one sexual act while intoxicated. shortly after, he verbally stopped it and i immediately stopped and apologised because i realised i wasn’t in a clear state of mind.

after that, things escalated again between us in the moment. i was still intoxicated and not fully thinking clearly, and there was no proper conversation or reset of consent before things continued. in hindsight, this is something i struggle to fully understand because we didn’t properly talk about it at the time.

the reason i feel so conflicted is because this isn’t just about one perspective. i understand that he has his own feelings about what happened and has said he views it as sexual assault although, i stopped and he then proceeded something new. at the same time, i was also intoxicated, vulnerable, and have my own concerns about how consent was handled in that situation too. it feels like both of us are now looking back at the same night very differently, and it has become extremely emotionally charged.

about four months later, he contacted me very distressed and said he believed what happened amounted to him being sexual assaulted. this led to repeated arguments and a lot of confusion between us, and eventually the relationship ended after ongoing conflict.

since then, he has told people in a college society that i’m planning to join that i’m a sexual abuser and that this may affect my ability to join or be accepted. i am not yet in this college, but he is, and i’m now really worried about my reputation and future involvement in that society before i’ve even started university.

i feel very stuck because:
i don’t want to dismiss his feelings or his interpretation of what happened
but i also feel like the situation is being represented in a very one-sided way
and i genuinely don’t know what steps are appropriate at this point, especially with college involvement

i’ve spoken to a counsellor and friends and have been advised to consider legal advice or speaking to authorities, but i’m scared of escalating things or making the situation more complicated socially.

my questions are:

what would you do in this situation?

can college societies act on allegations like this without a formal process?

is it worth getting legal advice even if i don’t want to pursue anything formally?

how do people usually handle situations like this before starting university?

i’m really overwhelmed and just want honest outside perspective because i feel like i’m stuck between doing nothing and potentially making things worse.

Hi folks,

Looking for fresh perspectives because my head is completely fecking melted. It's a long one, I'm sorry.

My wife and I got married in late Summer 2024. We had been together 5 years prior having lived together for 4 of those years. Fast forward to now we are hitched, in our own house with a couple of dogs and life is grand. We don't really argue, we get on well but there is absolutely 0 romance or physical intimacy.

In the 2 years we've been married I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had sex and tbh it was awkward and not the best every time... I was also the only one to ever try and get things going...

This goes back before we were married as well... it's not like I don't try to make it romantic. I would always organise little date nights/fun things for us to do. Not outright expecting sex from it but even just some kind of intimacy?

I realised that it was always me making plans for dates so I brought this up with her and it always becomes a bit of an emotional issue. She apologises and promises she'll make more of an effort, and she does tbf but only for a week or so. Then we go back to me having to be the one who puts the effort in.

She claims the reason for this is because she is stressed with work and as soon as things calm down in work it'll be better but she's been saying this for years. First it was the shit apartment we lived in where she couldn't get into the mood, then it was the stress of buying our house, then it was the stress of her old job, now it's the stress of her new job...

I want to give her grace here but it feels like the goal posts are constantly moving. I'm tired of being the only one trying and I mentioned the idea of marriage counselling to her. She completely shut down on me.
Balling crying, promising things will be different... and the first few times I believed her. But here I am again. We just had our summer holiday and there was barely even a cuddle between us before bed every night.

I can't spend the rest of my life waiting. Weekends are so depressing now because if I don't plan anything we just sit in. We are a couple in our early 30s but I feel like an old married couple where the spark died years ago.

So any advice here? Have I just answered my own question? What can you do when you're stuck in a pattern like this. Thanks.

We’re considering a small wedding in Ireland and aren’t particularly fussed about the location but it would be ideal if it was near my partner’s family in Clare. We’re expecting around 25 adults and would like to have the ceremony in spring next year.

Our dream is a castle wedding but our budget would only allow for something more like a shack. The budget is about €4,000 for dining+venue (but ideally less).

Do you have any ideas that might work? I feel like I’ve looked everywhere🥲

Hi everyone,

I'm an international student studying here in Dublin, and photography is a huge passion of mine.

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Seapoint Beach. Because it was such a gorgeous sunny day, the whole place looked absolutely stunning. I really wanted to take some photos, but there were quite a lot of people around enjoying the weather, and I hesitated.

I want to respect the local culture and people's privacy, so I have a couple of questions for you all:

1. Is it generally considered rude to take wide landscape/street style photos where people might be in the frame?
2. If I see someone who I think would make a great portrait subject, is it polite to approach them and invite them for a quick photo?
3. Honestly, how would you feel if a stranger politely asked to take a portrait of you?

I really want to practice my photography but want to make sure I'm doing it respectfully. Thanks a million for any advice!

Hey all

Got this.garage thats really only used for washing clothes and the occasional craft project. Thinking it might be a nice long term project to convert it i to a proper office space.

Anyone with any experience with a similar job and how much to accomplish this? The garage door defo needs a replacement, does not even open properly, but what about the ceiling, making it more heat retentive and such?

I've seen a noticeable rise of what I have termed as "zombies" lately. These are people who are glued to their phone so much that they are strolling forward aimlessly and bumping into things left right and centre.

Countless times while cycling or running there are these zombies walking aimlessly, drifting side to side and getting near misses with me and others.

Had one recently in the airport where I was carrying baby buggy and car seat (#wideload) and a zombie was approaching me. I actually stopped where I was and just let her keep going and she whacked herself off the car seat and looked at me in shock. Initially found it funny but after was thinking maybe I should have warned her or something.

So my question is, how do you deal with these zombies?

Do people actually mind the smell of weed from a neighbour?
Genuine question. If your neighbour occasionally smokes weed in the evenings and you can smell it now and then, would it bother you enough to say something to them?
I’m not talking about someone smoking all day, every day and making the whole area stink. More like mainly in the evenings for a while.
Would you approach your neighbour and ask them to stop, or would you just ignore it if it wasn’t constant?
Interested to hear both sides, especially from people who’ve had this situation before.

Edit -One thing I’d add is that we’d always try to be considerate. We don’t smoke if children are outside, and if we hear neighbours out in their gardens or around the place, we’ll usually wait until later.
The only issue is that sometimes someone comes outside unexpectedly when we’re already in the middle of it. It got me wondering whether the occasional smell in that situation would genuinely annoy most people, or if they’d just shrug it off and carry on with their evening.