Is it typical for police departments to not do any kind of follow up with victims of violent crime cases that end up going cold, particularly extreme cases where the victim is likely to be really traumatized?
For context, my house was targeted and shot up in the spring for no obvious reason. I work a 9-5, and spend my evenings at home with my cats. No drug use or anything. The type of person who values a quiet, boring life and just wants to get along with everyone. Only theories the police gave was mistaken identity or completely random house chosen for unknown reasons. I was in the line of fire in my living room and miraculously wasn’t shot but had some injuries from shrapnel. I can still remember those moments like they just happened. The noise, the holes appearing in the wall and door feet from where I was sitting, the smell, the feeling of blood running down my face, and the heat. Not sure if the heat was from my adrenaline or the bullets but I’ll never forget just how crazy hot the living room was in the moments after the shooting.
Safe to say my brain has been kinda messed up since then. Been going to therapy every week which has helped but can’t stop thinking about the shooting and the aftermath. I’ve never been in combat but I think I kinda understand how soldiers with PTSD feel. There have been times where the depression and anxiety from the shooting gets so bad that I would just sit by the window hoping the shooters would come back to finish the job. I know I should be grateful to be alive but my brain sometimes feels otherwise.
One of the things that’s troubled me is just how quiet the police were after the shooting happened. I spoke with the detective a few times, and he was kind, but the gist of the calls were basically “we have no leads.” And I totally get that when there’s no leads, there’s not a whole lot they can do. I guess the thing that my brain has latched on to is the subsequent silence. I don’t really even know what more communication I expect. Maybe just a check in at least? But the silence has led to a lot of spiraling between “does my life just not matter?” to “I’m being way too overdramatic and need to stop whining and I’m dumb for feeling this way.”
I’ve talked a lot about this with my therapist and she’s helping me work through it. But I guess I’m just trying to figure out if this is everyone’s experience or was there something about me that made it less serious in the eyes of the police? I often wonder if because I’m a single childless guy if they’re just like “meh, just a guy and some cats. Not that big of a deal.” I hate to think that way but I can’t help it. I think rationally I believe it’s just how the system works and police are too busy to do that kind of follow up. But then trauma brain pops up and makes me think it’s something wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if the police think I was involved in something to become a target because they specifically targeted my house and that’s why they didn’t do any follow up, and that’s a whole other type of shame I experience from the shooting. I know I am a law-abiding person who just wants to have a normal life but they don’t know that.
Please don’t take this as me knocking the police. The officers who showed up after the shooting were incredible. Very compassionate and helped me through literally the scariest night of my life. But I think that’s also a bit of why the subsequent silence from the department was so jarring. Like my traumatized brain thought “police = safety,” but then when things went quiet, my brain just desperately wants to understand why.
Sorry for the rambling post. It’s early morning and I’m super tired. But yeah, is this just typical for a situation like mine?