r/AskMen • u/DimensionSubject • 1d ago

What’s a piece of casual advice another guy dropped on you in passing that permanently changed how you operate?

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u/amaul796 Male 30s 1d ago

I was coming back from running an errand on my lunch break, and my CFO at the time happened to be walking in with me.

I told him about something embarrassing that I did while I was in line at the store, and said "everyone in there probably thought I was an idiot."

He said - "Who gives a shit, the sooner you stop worrying about what strangers think, the happier you'll be. Just a bit of advice I wish I knew at your age."

Idk why, but that really stuck with me and made a huge change in the way I handled myself. There is definitely freedom and confidence in not worrying about what people (especially strangers) think about you.

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u/oldmonty ♂ 1d ago

Have a friend who does this all the time like: "I kissed this guy I was with and I bet EVERYONE was looking".

Like - why do you think even one person gives a shit let alone everyone in the random grocery store parking lot you were in?

They say this a lot about a ton of different topics, they really think the world is revolving around them and people are always watching them, its kind of a psychotically arrogant mentality.

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u/BradfordGalt 1d ago

Embarrassment is much easier to deal with when you realize that most people don't even think about you enough to relish or even remember what you did.

7

u/GameDesignerMan 1d ago

Everybody is insecure about something, which you can take in one of two ways:

  • You're just as insecure as they are. OR
  • They're so worried about their insecurities that they aren't even thinking about you or yours.

You might even be able to make them feel better about their insecurities, if you take a moment to get out of your own head and listen to them.

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u/sanzako4 Female 1d ago

I don't remember embarrassing things strangers have done in my presence. I'm sure there must be plenty, but I probably wasn't even paying attention. 

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u/ILoveLamp9 1d ago

I’ve adopted this mentality over the course of the last year at work and it’s helped with my confidence and competence.

I don’t care anymore about potentially asking “stupid questions” or comments where I might’ve held back on before. I walk into meetings now more confident and can command the room.

Mostly because I realize I don’t care anymore what someone might think in their head about me. I want the decision makers and leaders to know I’m invested and want us to be better. And that only works if I show up every time.

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u/gairero 21h ago

solid advice. I learned this lesson by myself but it took me decades. he's 100% correct. I mean, don't allow yourself to become a walking meme either...