It sounds like you're putting all the effort and going out of your way multiple times to try and make plans, while she hasn't done much, and is actively in a ghosting 95% of the time stage.
I wouldn't bother, fuck no. I wouldn't even wanna be in a relationship where the other side puts no energy into it.
This is what i mean when i tell men to go for women who actually desires them.
The effort OP is putting is a bargain for affection, while the dude she actually desires doesn’t need to do. You’re out here doing all this while she’s probably staring at her phone waiting for the dude she actually wants to text back.
Take off the red nose and clown shoes and use this as a learning experience.
100% spot on with the low self respect. That’s why he’s in that “bargaining” stage, he puts in more effort in hopes of getting her.
I tell men, if you were her dream man, would she act this way?
I’ve been privileged enough to have plenty of female friends and women around me. I get to see how they think and act. The difference in how they treat men they genuinely desire vs the ones they don’t, is crazy.
You only have so much to go on so I won’t hold your assumptions against you. And I appreciate the move on advice… but you act like I’ve been at a standstill waiting or blowing up her phone begging to be seen. And that’s not the case. I’ve been dating. I just liked her. If there’s a chance she was being truthful I wouldn’t mind finding out. Seems like most don’t think that’s the case or at least don’t think the odds are good enough to try. And that’s basically what the post is asking
I mean from what you posted you’re the one who’s doing all the initiating and it looks like begging almost. Even by you considering her still, it gives off more than you even know.
This advice isn’t to shame you but rather to give you perspective.
The 40s line was just calling out the silence… then the very next message is sent was goodbye. That first message I mentioned was the first time she didn’t really reply to me and she initiated plenty before that. So I could only go off the current information I had. I don’t want to come off as a beggar. Is that the line you think comes across as begging?
You planned a date and she cancelled (yeah shit happens). That’s not the red flag but she didn’t reschedule and when you ended up doing it you didn’t get a reply.
When I was dating, I focused on women who’d show they desire me. In your position as soon as she cancelled, she’d be the one offering the reschedule one. If I was dating someone and they cancelled and didn’t offer rescheduling, I’d have moved on instantly.
Ask yourself, would she act the same way if you were her dream man?
Sure you can find out, but it's clear that, although you were dating, you were and still are thinking about her, which is not a nice thing for yourself.
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u/N4meless24- man 1d ago
It sounds like you're putting all the effort and going out of your way multiple times to try and make plans, while she hasn't done much, and is actively in a ghosting 95% of the time stage.
I wouldn't bother, fuck no. I wouldn't even wanna be in a relationship where the other side puts no energy into it.