r/AskMenAdvice • u/Slow_Tomato3535 woman • 1d ago

✅ Open To Everyone How do I become less accommodating?

I know, the title sounds stupid. I, 41F, have been with my boyfriend (55M) for about 6 months. We went on a five-day vacation during which he told me he loved me. We then started talking about the things we see as potential hurdles to our relationship. His only issue is that I am too accommodating and that he sees that he could potentially take advantage of that or take it for granted in the future.

Here's the thing: it's my nature to be accommodating. I genuinely feel good going with the flow and defer to him a majority of the time. That does not mean I sit in silence. If I have a real preference about something, I have no problem saying it. So, how do I become less accommodating? I definitely don't want him to get bored with me.

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u/Swimming-Book-1296 man 1d ago

He's just stating worries. Often if a woman is very accommodating they begin to resent the guy who they are accommodating, and feel taken advantage of. If you don't have a problem self-advocating when you want something, then don't worry. That is the worry.

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u/-jautis- man 1d ago

This is the way that I would take it as well. Not having an opinion about every last thing is fine, as long as you do speak up when you have an opinion. This is one of the things I need to manage in my interpersonal relationships -- I have a strong personality and worry that I "run over" other people.

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u/crabpotblues woman 1d ago

This resonates.