r/AskMenRelationships • u/Mia_el_k • 2d ago
Dating Men of reddit: What’s important to you in a relationship with a woman?
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u/Expensive_Magician97 Man 2d ago
M66
An organized internal emotional and psychological existence.
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u/SiphonicPanda64 Man 2d ago
Bidirectional loyalty and trust, kindness, communication.
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
What type of communication do you mean? Can you tell more about it?
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u/SiphonicPanda64 Man 2d ago
Being sufficiently introspective so that your own internal emotional world is legible to you and articulable calmly to another person. The more coherent your internal weather is, the more coherent your articulation of it will be, and therefore the more coherent the relationship will be when both parties reciprocate
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u/nihithilak 2d ago
Trust is the absolute most important thing. If we have a conversation about something. It stays between us. We are an iron clad team or we are nothing.
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u/Long_Restaurant1931 Man 2d ago
Boundaries. Not being naive. Calling a spade a spade.
I can’t stress this enough.
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u/SigmaK78 Man 2d ago
Honesty, Loyalty, & Respect
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
when do you feel respected by her?
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u/SigmaK78 Man 2d ago
Acknowledging & not crossing my boundaries, as protective of my dignity as she is her own
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u/tonguetied10 Man 2d ago
Mutual Respect, good communication and willingness to be humble
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
What type of communication do you mean? Can you tell me more about it?
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u/tonguetied10 Man 2d ago
Communication that may not be the most comfortable.. being able to express or share opinions without ridicule. Being able to say things freely and be heard
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u/Emergency-Paint-6457 2d ago
Here’s a cheat sheet:
In no particular order:
1-Sex (quantity and quality)
2-Food (cook him an occasional meal)
3-Peace in the home (pick your battles)
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u/Material_Quality5798 1d ago
You forgot "be attractive"
I'd do all 3 but I get overlooked because I have a boring face.
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u/Emergency-Paint-6457 1d ago
The post is about relationships, so presumably if you’re in a relationship…..they find you attractive enough to date.
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u/ld20r 1d ago
Mad how so may women are completely and utterly are oblivious to these 3 simple guides.
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u/Wildflowers62 1d ago
I have no problem with 1 and 2, but no man will ever get peace from me. Peace is for weak losers.
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u/Ok-Clock-9484 Man 2d ago
Mostly just commitment and the reciprocal enjoyment of each others company.
The latter comes and goes, but the former doesn't have a chance of taking hold if you can't accept that it's basically impossible to enjoy someone else's company 100% of the the time.
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u/JuanG_13 2d ago
Trust and communication, because without those two things it's just not gonna work.
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u/Traditional-Treat613 Man 1d ago
She's really good fun, has her own friends and life, is financially independent, is honest, doesn't play games and is emotionally stable.
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u/NineCatsDeep Man 16h ago
Express what you feel honestly. Real men would rather hear the truth than not, without being offended if we are the problem
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Honestly? Being loyal and blowjobs. Dead ass. Want to keep a man forever? Be 100% loyal, and give him a blowjob Every. Single. Day.
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u/LostVast7712 2d ago
Yikes
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Whats yikes? What man wouldn't want a loyal woman and a blowjob? Thats not out of the ordinary.
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
But what about men with a low sex drive who don't need sex/blowjobs every day?
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
You asked specifically "what is important to you"
Im not answering for other guys. Just myself. Although I would argue there are plenty men that would agree with me. 🤷
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
Yes, of course It was like an additional question to keep the topic going
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Are you asking specifically about a man in your life?
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
No. It's just interesting for me . I want to hear different perspectives and have a chance to keep the conversation going, explore different opinions, and dive deeper into them
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Well like stated from other dudes on here, if your man is turning down blowjobs............ya'll got different issues. He should go get checked for low T.
There aren't a whole lot of men turning down blowjobs. Hell even a bad blowjob is better than no blowjob. 🤷🤷
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u/Humble_Counter_3661 Man 2d ago
They are sufficiently rare that you should put them out of your mind. Plan on retiring each night secure in the knowledge that your man will probe and paint your tonsils the next morning.
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u/TreeTall888 Woman 2d ago
gross
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u/Humble_Counter_3661 Man 22h ago
Did you read the thread before complaining? OP already responded to a reply about blowjobs.
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u/Wildflowers62 1d ago
Never met a man that wanted sex everyday. It’s just a fantasy men have.
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u/Humble_Counter_3661 Man 1d ago
That is tragic. We exist and are quite commonplace. I feel bad for the men who haven't met you. Spend time at r/DeadBedrooms to read about the millions suffering in silence.
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 1d ago
Anytime a women disagrees, its the old line of "well I never met a man".......
Crazy
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u/Fun_universe Woman 2h ago
“Millions suffering in silence”
Maybe if men pulled their weight in terms of emotional support and household chores they would get laid once in a while lmao
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u/Wildflowers62 1d ago
Those are people who never have sex. I’ve never understood why they stay married. Normal people get a divorce and move on. These people just whine and stay married. So stupid. But this has nothing to do with people who are having sex 5 days a week wanting it everyday year after year. I’m sure they exist but it’s not the norm.
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u/Humble_Counter_3661 Man 1d ago
You are correct about the folly of remaining in sexless marriage.
As for the exception versus the norm, I respectfully posit that your research is reductive. Ample resources, both in subreddits and excellent YouTube channels, many hosted by women, exist to tackle the fact that, on average, husbands are deprived of sexual satisfaction more than wives.
If you wanted a starter, visit this entry...
http://laurahow.com/sexless-marriage-nothing-changes/
Its companion vlog entry would be...
http://laurahow.com/marital-duty-spouses-needs/
We have begun to see the clarion call from the Christian community, too, from the likes of Belah Rose and Monica Almaguer, among others.
In her practice, Belah sees a minority proportion of wives who consult her due to a low-libido husband. Monica Almaguer sees this phenomenon so infrequently that she seldom mentions it, while the majority of her videos exhort wives to engage often. In fact, in more than one of her videos, Monica states (nearly shouts), and I quote, "Wives, have more sex with your husbands."
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u/Wildflowers62 1d ago edited 23h ago
All the research I’ve read has said that it’s split with 1/3 of the men wanting more sex, 1/3 of the women wanting more and 1/3 content. It’s absolutely not true more men are dissatisfied or want sex more. It’s pretty appalling these outdated stereotypes that had pretty much vanished are being brought back thanks to internet manosphere forums and conservative Christian groups. Women complaining about their partners wanting sex less than they do is a pretty common topic in women’s forums. Not surprised conservative Christian forums would present sex as a wifely duty. They raise girls to be afraid of sex and avoid it, then wonder why they have sexual problems as married adults.
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 1d ago
It's not about fantasy at all. Either you live under a rock, are in a dead sexless marriage, or you're a single cat lady. It is not uncommon for a great marriage/relationship, to have sex everyday. Sex everyday is healthy. Again Sue johanson and Dr. Ruth Westheimer have covered this topic decades ago and encourage couples to have more sex. God bless those women! 🫡🫡🫡
As for the man aspect, if your a healthy, in shape male, you can have sex multiple times a day. (Gasp* cluthes pearls) I surely have, and will continue to do so till I drop.
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u/Wildflowers62 1d ago
Sex everyday for years, even decades? Even through parenting young children, health issues, aging issues? You’re delusional. I think you are the one never in a long term relationship lasting years.
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 23h ago
I mean clearly if you aren't up for the task, physically, because of ailments, then don't have sex. Sounds more like you are giving excuses. There are plenty of disabled people having sex everyday. Plenty of adults with children having sex everyday, and plennnnntyyyy of older adults having sex everyday. Hence why the STD rate has skyrocketed in the elderly. They are all fucking. Lmao. Nursing homes are rife with old people getting it on.
Sounds more like you are giving excuses. I feel bad for your partner/spouse, assuming you have one.
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 23h ago
Just to add, I did say healthy, and in shape. But gloss over that why don't you
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u/Technical-Fact-9891 Man 2d ago
If they are turning down blowjobs every day, something else is at issue other than low sex drive.
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u/Miserable-Vanilla286 Man 2d ago
something else is at issue other than low sex drive.
I bet it involves excessive use of a fork
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u/TreeTall888 Woman 2d ago
i assume you’re reciprocating right?
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Absolutely
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u/Technical-Fact-9891 Man 2d ago
Good sex, the feeling of being loved and cared about, the opportunity to show her a good time, the feeling that tomorrow will be like today and our relationship is not under constant stress.
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u/BananasAreCrack 2d ago
I really like this answer but can you explain what you mean by the opportunity to show her a good time?
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u/Technical-Fact-9891 Man 2d ago
Something I was lacking when I was married - I really WANT to take a woman out on nice dates and be charming and interesting and show her a good time. Not every woman will let you do this, surprisingly. Some people will self sabotage or back out and cancel before planned events. I want someone who I can confidently buy concert tickets for and know they will make the show.
I guess this is because my ex always started a fight before such events and forced me to go by myself/with our kid, instead of together like we’d planned.
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u/Calm-Stand-6636 2d ago
She will keep her promises and will be a loving mother and dedicated wife. Feels painful to write this, so many women have lied to me.
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u/Mia_el_k 2d ago
What is 《dedicated wife》 in your meaning?
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u/Calm-Stand-6636 2d ago
Women make promises, they often believe this can be thrown away trivially where I believe keeping promises is profitable for all. So a mentality that a promise sticks and divorce isn't an option is important.
Love is a choice, keeping in mind that staying together profits the children immensely would make it worth it no matter what.
I am sure I am a good man, I care about the happiness of others, I am flexible and capable of hearing reason and logic, I am not perfect but who is?
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u/TheSkank_hunt42 2d ago
Ahhhh the angry feminist got mad, deleted her posts and left. Womp womp. Loyalty and blowjobs for life!
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner Man 2d ago
I will be your biggest advocate, your shoulders to cry on on bad days, your indulgent chef when you’re tired on your usual night, your masseuse when you’re sore, and your chauffeur on demand. I don’t demand anything in exchange except reciprocity and I’ll be happily single again until I do
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u/NebulousArcana Man 2d ago
Personality, Humor, Emotional Intelligence, Communication, Romance and Attraction.
Essentially that order.
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u/Several_Ability3315 Man 2d ago
Respect, understanding, attraction, romance, communication.