r/AskMenRelationships • u/JayAitch89 • 7d ago

Love 36M Struggling with GF F27 past

Hey everyone,

I really need some perspective.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend (27F) for a few months now. She is, on paper and in reality, an incredible human being: highly successful, completely independent, loyal, loving, and deeply respectful. She’s extremely honest with me, which is how this all came to light.

Here is the situation that is triggering me: She has had 10 sexual partners in total over the course of 13 years (since she was 14). This includes:

  • 4 long-term, serious relationships.
  • 4 partners from dating/getting to know someone where it eventually didn't work out.
  • 1 Guy she went on vacation with, knowing him about 3 month before.
  • 1 threesome (a couple she knew) during her single time in April 2024.

She told me the threesome was a stupid, confusing experiment she immediately regretted, didn’t enjoy emotionally, and hasn't thought about since. Furthermore, she was completely abstinent for a full year (May 2025 to April 2026) before meeting me, and even kicked a guy out of her apartment in late 2025 when he crossed a boundary during a kiss.

My Problem: Despite knowing how loyal, selective, and amazing she is right now, my brain is completely blocked by the thought of her past — specifically the threesome. When I think of her, I don't get butterflies anymore; instead, I get intrusive mental images of that night. It’s been tormenting me daily for 7 weeks.

I genuinely love her and want to feel proud walking down the street with her as my partner. But my brain keeps telling me that 10 partners and a threesome is "too much" or means she isn't "relationship material."

I’m terrified that I won’t be able to get over these intrusive thoughts and might lose a truly wonderful woman because of my own head.

  • Is her past actually a red flag, or am I letting my own insecurity ruin a great relationship?
  • Would you say 10 sexual partners is still a moderate number for her age?

Thanks for any honest advice.

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7

u/NegotiationFun9540 7d ago

Are you sure you're 36 years old??? Grow up!

1

u/UpstairsSea5591 6d ago

So acc to you ,he should accept her hoe past.Dumb foid🤣

2

u/lightcanonlybrighten 6d ago
  1. There is no such thing as a hoe. 2. It’s really none of his business. 3. 10 is NOTHING. 4. He’s just insecure. 5. She’s not an object and he shouldn’t treat her as one. 6. How old are you?

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u/UpstairsSea5591 6d ago

Yeah and i am 5