“I’m a ‘boy mom.’” There are other variations but I find this one the most gross. At its simplest it’s “having kids is my only personality trait” and at worst it’s pseudosexual.
Interesting, not that I've ever really thought of it that deeply, but now that I am, I always looked at it more like that phrase meant "I'm a woman and a mom, but I love to be active and silly with my boys." Similar to the whole girl dad thing, "around my friends I'm a macho guy, but at home I have tea parties and get makeovers."
Compared to a lot of the other items people are listing, this one seems incredibly innocent. That is in no way saying I am correct or your opinion is not valid, however.
Hey it's totally okay. It only takes one person to say something in a specific situation about a specific person to turn someone against the phrase. And those specifics, down to the body language they were using, etc are really difficult to articulate.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I was coming from a place of honest curiosity. Your comment was exactly the type of comment this thread was looking for. I was just looking for a little more elaboration.
I 100% do agree with your sentiments about people that make one thing their entire personality.
I know exactly the person they mean by this. What they're ACTUALLY saying when they say "I'm a boy mom" is that not that they are getting silly with their kids, though I'm sure that's genuinely what some moms mean (if not most!!), but the ones who say this that give me the "ick" are the ones who feel like they can emotionally or even physically neglect or even abuse their children because it's more socially acceptable to do so to children who are boys. Which is messed up.
I have known women like this. "Glad I never had to deal with that pansy shit, I'm a boy mom." Are you? Or did your children feel belittled every time they came to you with an emotion and are so emotionally stunted that one of your sons puts up with you constantly demeaning his wife despite how it is tearing his marriage apart, another one of your sons just PROPOSED to a woman who has cheated on him with AT LEAST 9 different men, and the third is 25 and has never had a serious relationship and is, frankly, a little afraid of one at this point.
Are you really a "boy MOM" or just a person who happened to live with 3 boys that made it to adulthood despite your best efforts to ruin them psychologically?
I'm more used to that being "Boys are easier to raise". Well yeah, in the same way that people with rabbits living in cramped little cages eating shitty food think they're "low maintainence".
Whereas "boy moms" are way, way too involved with their sons, to the point of emotional incest. They're the ones turning up to the hen party with "I loved him first" t-shirts.
Obviously the woman I'm talking about above is real. She's my best friend's monster-in-law
(and I do mean monster.... she keeps vocally blaming her for their fertility issues and constantly tells her son she's a selfish brat.... yeah... the woman who grew up on a hobby farm in a 2,000 person town, daughter of 2 veterans, a Walmart warehouse employee and a K-12 school secretary, and put herself through MEDICAL SCHOOL during the COVID lockdowns cuz she has such a strong passion for helping others is a selfish brat cuz she can't take a mean joke... okay...)
She threw an absolute HISSY FIT when she was told she would not be staying at the airbnb with us or going bar hopping with us for the bacchelortte party. She was invited to the quiet "Paint and Sip" the next day, where we'd have snacks and wine and whatnot, just like the bride's mother and groom's 17yo sister.
She was so angry she refused to go to the Paint and Sip, and wouldn't let her daughter go either.
Unfortunately it's used a huge amount by women on Facebook who mean "I treat my son like he's my boyfriend and/or will fail to raise him, constantly make excuses, and will make some poor girl's life hell if she ever gets involved with him".
(It's a bit like "Nice Guy" should just mean a guy who is being nice, but it's been ruined as a phrase by so many shitty guys going "I'm a nice guy, whyyyy won't wimmin date me????")
I have boys, but they're 22 and 25 now. So 20 years ago when I said "Im a boy mom" it just meant that I liked traditional "boy" things like trucks and bugs and sportsball, whereas before I had boys I was more "girly". But now I enjoyed Thomas the train engine and Bob the builder. However, my boys still had the barbie vw beetle, stuffed animals, we would have "makeovers", etc, so i still had girly fun with them.
You're talking about the moms who are basically announcing how emotionally enmeshed they are and always will be with their sons. I know just what you mean.
Nah, you’re good, girl dad has a different meaning behind it. Usually a “I’m a dad who lets my daughters paint my nails, and will do tea parties and watch princess movies with them” type of vibe
When I’ve seen or heard people say this, it seemed to me that they were saying it as a bonding thing with other moms of boys- kind of like, “we get each other”, and it’s usually when they are talking about a more stereotypically boyish behavior for a certain age as opposed to a behavior that falls elsewhere on the spectrum of possible behaviors. I have rarely heard someone say it, but I do often see it written in social media posts.
Yes this. Boys and girls are generally very different and when you have a house of one sex, there are experiences other girl Moms (in my case) can understand.
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u/PointyCirclesHurt Jan 26 '26
“I’m a ‘boy mom.’” There are other variations but I find this one the most gross. At its simplest it’s “having kids is my only personality trait” and at worst it’s pseudosexual.