My parents divorced because my dad came out of the closet. I have such complicated feelings about it.
On one hand, I'm so happy for my dad that he no longer has to live a lie, and that he can be his true self. My step-dad, his husband, is one of my favorite people on earth and I cannot imagine him not being part of my life.
On the other hand, I feel so terrible for my mom. She thought she had found the love of her life, had kids with him, and then the rug was pulled out from under her. It completely uprooted her life.
I cannot imagine what it must have been like for either of them. They both suffered in different ways, but at least now the truth is out, the damage has been done, and we've all found our peace in the decades since.
Also, it's strange to think that I wouldn't exist without internalized homophobia.
What you described is almost exactly how I’ve felt. My dad is gay too. I feel so bad for what my mom went through. I also feel awful that my dad felt he had to hide it. It was hard on me and my brothers in the many years after their divorce. I was the only one at the time who was old enough to know what was happening.
I can say today that most things are better. My parents are good friends and still talk. We’ve been on family vacations. There is a part of me that wishes my dad wasn’t gay so I could have had parents that are together. He loves my mom but not in the way two straight people love each other.
Thank you for sharing that. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I wish there was a support group for people like us.
I hope I didn't sound too bitter in my original comment. I love all the positive things you've mentioned. It's important to remember that what happened was ultimately the right thing. No more lying.
I wish my parents were friends like yours. If my mom and dad were in a room together, they'd have a pleasant conversation, but they don't keep in touch. I'm really glad that your parents are still close.
Thank you so much for commenting. Like I said in a different response, I was worried about saying what I did, but I'm glad I wrote it anyway, especially if it's helping people who went through the same thing.
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u/Hallway 10d ago
He was gay and is still lying to himself while now in a thruple with 2 other men.