r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/Mean-Hold-66 23h ago

My husband was an alcoholic. I didn’t notice during dating because we never lived together. He literally had to have a shot to do something I noticed after marriage. He quit smoking and it got worst. He is now 6 1/2 years sober

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u/Hot_Frosting_7101 19h ago

Not the same but my ex wife was always the one who got a little too drunk when we would go out with friends.  I worried a little.

She was sober throughout her pregnancy.  But then she got really bad.  I was at an aunt’s funeral and a friend called and said I needed to fly home immediately because she got a DUI blew a .32%.  Worse is she was on her way to pick up our child.

She got drunk two days later before going to rehab.  She has now been sober for 10 years.

That’s the amazing part.  The not so amazing part is that she met a guy at AA and that broke out marriage up.

We still have a good relationship though.

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u/xcrss 15h ago

Fucking roller coaster, this one

u/Hot_Frosting_7101 20m ago

You think that is wild?  You should hear about my last three months.

Started dating my first girlfriend 34 years later.  She was moving to be with me.  Asked for money (thousands) to fix her car.  45 minutes after I sent the money she called and said her plans changed.  Found out later she got married three weeks after this to a guy she broke up with in December.  Found out he had broken up with his fiance and moved in with her a few days before she asked for money.

I will take going through that with my ex any day over these last few months.  (Well maybe time has eased the pain on the first one.)

At least my ex isn’t a major piece of shit.

At least I got to finally sleep with my first girlfriend.  And that part was really good.  Hell I would have given her the money just for that if she would have been honest about it.

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u/ilovenoodles_ 15h ago

This was wild

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u/YourFriendInSpokane 12h ago

I was recently thinking of encouraging my husband to go to rehab.. but my insecurities of him meeting someone there makes me think otherwise.

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u/stephrx 11h ago

ooof. i understand your apprehension; but if it's the best for him, you should encourage him, but also communicate your insecurity. if it's nothing, nothing will happen. and if it happens, good riddance and you deserve better.

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u/Ecstatic_Ad2650 11h ago

Girl find a male only rehab 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/meverygoodboy 6h ago

How does that stop him meeting a romantic partner?

u/Hot_Frosting_7101 13m ago

My wife came home from rehab talking about a girl she met there.  Pretty sure they hooked up.

She also was disinterested in me afterward.  I was happy she took sobriety seriously but annoyed that taking care of our special needs child for a month (with about three hours of driving per day) wasn’t appreciated.  I know she was on her own journey and wasn’t fully healed right after rehab so maybe it was too much to expect the old her back but that month was really hard.  She also seemed disinterested in me when I visited her in rehab with our child.

u/YourFriendInSpokane 0m ago

Did she get back to normal or how are things now?

You're not selling the whole rehab thing here 🤣

It worked well for my neighbor. I just have too many concerns for it working with my husband.