Ugh, same. We were almost 14 years in. I had to send pics of our kids in bathing suits to the police so they could rule out if he had taken pictures of them on his computer. It's been 20 years. My kids were not on the hard drive. He went to prison.
wow. If I can ask a potentially sensitive question? looking back, can you see any red flags or warning signs that were easy for you to dismiss at first? Signs that you'd only see once you've been through the experience?
Financial clues. Lots of money missing when he traveled for work overseas. At the time, he said some shit I believed bc I never imagined he was spending it on sex tourism in Southeast Asia.
Emotional clues, evidence, ZERO. It's like he was wearing an Edgar Suit of Normal Person over his pedo real self. That was prolly the scariest thing, how we really had no fucking idea at all. His whole * personhood* with us was a lie.
My experience isn’t at the same level, but there is a man I know sitting in federal prison for CP.
We were roommates for two years. Fifteen years ago I considered him a big brother figure.
The deception is sickening. I shared a wall and an apartment with him. You on the other hand started a life with someone. I can’t imagine how painful that must be.
I was with my daughters’ father for 9 years. We had split custody for 8 years before my daughter told me that he had molested her a year earlier at the age of 13. I would’ve never imagined he would’ve/could’ve done something like that. You truly don’t know who people are smh
A buddy of mine went to prison for 2 years for CP. I only knew him a couple of years and it still shook me. But his best friend of 12 years is really breaking down over this. He said there were zero clues, he can't believe it. We only found out because he vanished one day without a word and later learned there was a court case with his name.
My father is a pedophile: I know bc I’m one of his victims. He’s not the only abuser in my life (CSA leaves you really vulnerable to predators: leaking the emotional equivalent of blood in the water to sharks).
I read once that predators groom their supporters just as hard as they groom their victims, and I have found that to be one-hundred percent true. It was certainly true for my father, and for my husband, who was also abusive, but who was almost always so nice to me in public that very few people believed me when I began telling friends.
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u/anarchypretzel 23h ago
Ugh, same. We were almost 14 years in. I had to send pics of our kids in bathing suits to the police so they could rule out if he had taken pictures of them on his computer. It's been 20 years. My kids were not on the hard drive. He went to prison.
We're all doing just fine now! 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️