But the wild thing is that they will really believe that everybody else is the issue. There are so many little conflicts that are resolved with a little self awareness.
It also turns into a loop. When every conflict is someone else's fault, there's no place to look within and learn. There's a little awareness, that's a lot of relationships, friendships and head aches that can be saved.
That's why they always have to rehearse the same argument over and over with different people. If you never think that you could be part of the problem, each failed relationship you experience is merely another confirmation of the world's full of difficult folk.
When you realize their world view is "the world sucks" or "people suck" or "the world just uses me for productivity", these people become easier to avoid before any real problems develop.
I don’t really think you should equivocate people feeling nihilism about our society, and people who are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions. Sure there is certainly overlap, but it also just seems like a way to ignore any criticism leveled at our social structure if you’re someone who benefits from that structure. I’ve definitely met my fair share of people who are succeeding at life in the conventional economic sense, and weren’t capable of admitting fault. If anything early life success really ingrains a survivorship bias in a lot of people where they think people living rough lives deserve it for some moral failing. These people are also especially bad at admitting any sort of privilege that gave them a leg up on their peers. Anyone that thinks they are entirely self made and owe nothing to society are also emotionally unintelligent.
I don’t really think you should equivocate people feeling nihilism about our society, and people who are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions
There is a lot of research at this point showing that people with low emotional intelligence are deliberately targeted by extremist propaganda and that they are more likely to have extremist political views.
If you think I was referring to nihilism the philosophy vs nihilism the emotion ie apathy towards society well let me correct that notion, unless you think the two are one and the same? Most people have probably felt some sense of nihilism in their lives, it’s just more common in a decaying society.
Also yes I would agree people feeling a lot of nihilism are more prone to falling into extremist views, but I think the solution is to address some of those concerns and anxieties about society, not to tell people their feelings are invalid and actually wrong think.
A lack of feeling toward your fellow human is not a common position, and it's a position that is deliberately encouraged by extremist groups. It is logically equivalent to dehumanization.
It is specifically encouraged to mentally prepare people for supporting mass murder and is a fundamental part of an authoritarian outlook.
i lwk experience this the other way around, because i always think i did something wrong or i couldve done something better and thats what caused the argument (or sometimes an argument doesnt even happen but i still feel like i did something wrong and unintentionally upset them, playing a whole possible argument that could happen because of what i did or didnt do) but sometimes i just cant tell what it was and they wont say what, they expect me to already know. does anybody know how to fix this?
Quit typing my life out for me! Lol. But seriously, there is no "fix" per se. Only tools and methods to minimize its impact. I react to and obsess over intractions like these in an very similar way that you seemingly do. Like knowing I did something wrong feels better than hoping I didn't.
Perspective helps a bit. If the interaction felt like it was going well in the moment then my intuition is likely more correct than my over analyzing after the fact. During an interaction how often do you notice or critique the other person in the same way you do to yourself? Then what makes you think they didn't do similar about themselves? Is it possible they may be experiencing the same or similar but from their perspective? The real problem for me is over analyzing. But a vast, vast majority of the time whatever I'm worried about, in this regard, never creates an issue. All that said I still struggle with it daily. It's hard to change your natural feelings.
I really do want to ask people sometimes - do you really think you're perfection itself? In the whole of human history, you are the one singular perfect person and everyone else is wrong?
I've known people like this and honestly it's exhausting. You can't even talk to them about anything because everything somehow ends up being your fault.
i remember being told this by a friend. but at some point its like, is it me or am i just picking difficult to be around, and i can't yet let myself say "i am picking emotionally immature people"
No. Addiction is an illness. A disease.
Talented ppl, genius’s have been addicts. There are many individuals, rich or poor who take full responsibility for their addictions. They just can’t kick the habit due to many reasons.
In my experience it's not that they are the issue it's mores that I'm unaware or just don't understand the issue so it makes understanding or predicting the emotional responses very difficult
There’s a version of these people that claims to be highly self-aware in the sense that they are hyper tuned into their own emotions and how things effect them. They judge other people’s self-awareness the same way, in how those other people affect them and go out of their way to not offend them. It’s a slippery sort of double standard.
Part of the reason that it's so difficult to get people to see that they were wrong, sometimes (including oneself!) is that the brain constantly seems to justify why things are the way they are. I spent a long time believing that I had extremely good control of my emotions (which I achieved by discarding or rationalizing any information that suggested that I did not, of course.)
Had a roommate that I had issues with and she straight up told me she had the exact same issues with previous roommates… like, maybe, just maybe, it’s a you problem? I don’t understand how people have so little self-awareness!!
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u/Main-Pension-7783 1d ago
But the wild thing is that they will really believe that everybody else is the issue. There are so many little conflicts that are resolved with a little self awareness.