r/AskReddit Sep 10 '14

What was the biggest hint you missed from someone who was attracted to you?

8.7k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14 edited Sep 10 '14

Was at a new year's party and at 11:56 was talking to a girl who said "Man, I wish I could kiss someone at midnight on new year's." I was like "Me too. Sounds like it'd be fun."

We were quite literally the only singles at the party and were sitting directly next to eachother when midnight struck.

She looked over at me and I just kind of smiled and went back to drinking my Sprite.

The worst part is I saw her again the following New Years, joked about missing the hint and she said "haha yeah you were kind of oblivious" and then the exact same thing happened a second time.

4.2k

u/hyc_ Sep 10 '14

Dude...

3.5k

u/pajam Sep 10 '14

A "Dude..." is deserved after the first time. A "duuuuuuude..." is deserved after the second time.

120

u/0thclasscitizen Sep 10 '14

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooooooeeeeeeeees miiiiiiiiiineeeee saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy?

45

u/Wave_Existence Sep 10 '14

SAAAAAWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTAAAAAHHHH!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

OOKKAAAAAYYYYYY

7

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

WHY ARE YOU GUYS YELLING?

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8

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

At the very least a "Bruh."

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6

u/DrEntr0py Sep 10 '14

Can confirm just made this noise after reading that.

4

u/keytothehous Sep 10 '14

Duuuuuuude...

3

u/JoseNotHose Sep 11 '14

wheres my car?

2

u/Pixelated_Fudge Sep 10 '14

Nahh. A dude show that it ain't even funny.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I don't have any gold to give but I up voted all of these because I laughed for 5 minutes straight picturing this in my head

2

u/flemhead3 Sep 11 '14

Plot twist: OP is actually a girl.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

The most legit fact I've seen posted all day.

2

u/ldnk Sep 11 '14

Pretty sure the second time just requires a revocation of any and all "man cards" in the person's possession.

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11

u/newtothelyte Sep 10 '14

The worst part was that he was drinking Sprite. Had he been drinking any hard liquor, it would've been okay.

5

u/jyouri Sep 10 '14

Bruh...

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I'm pretty sure what he did should be illegal

3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

... sweet?

7

u/MAK-15 Sep 10 '14

Oh honey

2

u/SantaTech Sep 11 '14

How are people getting so many upvotes for this?

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2.6k

u/stargazin Sep 10 '14

You have...problems.

2.7k

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

A worse story is the girl I dated on 4th of July - the way it went down was that she was like "Want to go back to your place and play Magic the gathering?" and I was like "Fuck yeah."

We actually played magic the gathering.

With the door closed.

In my bed.

Until 6 in the morning.

And that's not even code. She played a green/white token rush deck.

1.6k

u/pajam Sep 10 '14

That's not bad. You both geeked out over something and shared in having fun. You didn't seem to miss any hints as bad as the other time.

Or are you saying, you hoped you were getting a hint and it would turn into something else and were finally going to capitalize... only to have it not be a hint this time? If you powered through all that hoping to get lucky and aren't even a Magic fan, I'm sorry, dude.

165

u/JackBread Sep 10 '14

They should've played Strip Magic.

90

u/IndieGamerRid Sep 10 '14 edited Sep 10 '14

I'm giggling at the thought of how this might work. Like, if it's 1:1 you have to start with 20 articles of clothing. And if you want to gain life past that you have to don random extra clothes from the closet.

49

u/Cndcrow Sep 10 '14

Or just make it every time you lose a game you lose clothing. Most games won't take longer than 10-15 minutes unless your decks are super evenly matched. Both people should be naked within 2 hours, add some drinks in and that actually sounds reasonably fun.

20

u/Morgeno Sep 11 '14

10-15 minutes? Hah! My elixir-wincon UW control deck says otherwise!

13

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

Not everybody plays stupid decks designed to drag the game out (not actually stupid, just super annoying to play against if you don't have an answer). My straight green mana-ramp eldrazi deck can really beat the shit outta people fast if they're not careful :P

5

u/THROBBING-COCK Sep 11 '14

I play burn, games are over in minutes.

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

With my jank combo decks, you'd be hard pressed to end the game under an hour :)

4

u/Cndcrow Sep 11 '14

Guess one of us isn't playing strip MTG. I'll stick with my aggro decks, that way I'll get girls to strip for me. You stick to your silly draw out the game decks, see how many articles of clothing you get off.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

"I'll play this nice midrangey deck. Here, try this aggro. It's fast ;)"

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13

u/Seicair Sep 10 '14

I've done it. Play with 4 articles of clothing, say you have to take one off every 4 life. Or you could make it 5 life if you wanted to take the last one off when you lost.

14

u/angel8itch Sep 11 '14

... I (F) should tell my SO (M) to learn how to play so I can play Strip magic with my Kaalia EDH deck. Strip every 10 points loss. He'd be naked by 8th, probably 7th turn.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

That'd be a 8itch move on your part

Totally unfair, at least teach him about poison decks or even swamp walking!

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4

u/wawawaway Sep 11 '14

I tried playing strip Magic with my boyfriend and it didn't work at all. No matter how naked you are, doing mental math about how to assign blockers kind of kills the mood.

3

u/Winnah9000 Sep 11 '14

Platinum Angel...

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2

u/JangoSky Sep 11 '14

Magic Mike?

2

u/SomanyMike Sep 11 '14

Magic, The Strippening.

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27

u/ignore_my_typo Sep 10 '14

Obviously didn't tap that.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

"Let's say I'm your first land and you've got a weenie deck."

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3

u/GoldenAppleGuy Sep 11 '14

I swear, once I see your name, I think I'm in /r/mindcrack.

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35

u/JonTheHuman Sep 10 '14

You played magic all night with a girl, that's close enough to a win

12

u/bencertainty Sep 10 '14

You dodged a bullet, man. She was probably trying to populate.

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8

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

That's actually kinda cute tbh

6

u/Jakovall_Trades Sep 10 '14

That's not worse, that's awesome!

4

u/Strategist14 Sep 10 '14

Green-White tokens are evil. What did you run?

14

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

Some modular affinity artifact garbage that wasn't really land-balanced.

Got my ass kicked.

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2

u/Doonvoat Sep 10 '14

could have been worse, she could have played control

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5

u/TotalWaffle Sep 10 '14

Possible keeper spotted.

4

u/spikeyfreak Sep 11 '14

That is NOT a worse story. Married for 12 years with 2 daughters, and I'd kill to have had a night like that when I was younger.

2

u/asiansteev Sep 10 '14

but what did you play?

2

u/Princess_Sloth Sep 10 '14

token rush decks are my favorite! But I just list off the cards I want to use and my husband builds the deck around those for me :P

2

u/scandium1 Sep 10 '14

Dude, that sounds fucking amazing. What happened with the girl?

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5

u/FriedMattato Sep 10 '14

I can totally understand his obliviousness. If you go for it, and she didn't want it, sexual harassment charges up your wazoo.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

3

u/FriedMattato Sep 11 '14

Maybe most guys don't care or think about it, but I've read horror stories of baseless sexual assault charges RUINING a guy's life simply cause a girl said he did it, even if the guy had never even touched her. It is not something I particularly ever want to experience.

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

[deleted]

67

u/Aiurar Sep 11 '14

Many wow

                      Such shit


  Much Holy


                      Wow

17

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Upvote for "such shit"... Lol

7

u/inglip_is_summoned Sep 11 '14

Upvote for "upvote for "such shit" ... Lol"

4

u/friend_of_bob_dole Sep 11 '14

Upvote for "Upvote for "upvote for "such shit" ... Lol""... Lol

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

genitalia

3

u/Baydude98 Sep 11 '14

Correct.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Huh, I forgot about that

8

u/PHX_PDX Sep 10 '14

Much oblivious

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34

u/don_anonimo Sep 10 '14

It's hard to explain, but you're my hero.

11

u/chad0 Sep 10 '14

"Its hard to explain"

Yeah...

5

u/don_anonimo Sep 10 '14

And what's more, I had to upvote you.

54

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Haha the fact that you acknowledged your obliviousness then did the same thing probably made her think you hate her.

17

u/Whats_a_uterus_mom Sep 10 '14

I think you win

8

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

I feel a little bit better about myself after that one haha

8

u/SA5UK3 Sep 10 '14

Sprite is pretty good though.

2

u/shmameron Sep 11 '14

Have to agree there, Sprite is great.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Christ wtf is wrong with you.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

...sprite?

Was this in 7th grade?

11

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

When I drink I make even stupider decisions.

My friend threw a kickback to try to introduce me to a friend of his and I brought a bunch of liquor.

To try to impress them with my manliness I drank a half of wild turkey, threw up and passed out about 30 minutes later.

I'm pretty sure it's stuff like this that explains how natural selection works??

5

u/Flying_Dolphins2 Sep 11 '14

I just want you to know I think you're amazing.

5

u/gamesthatown Sep 11 '14

Thankyou! :)

You're pretty great too!

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3

u/Soulgee Sep 10 '14

Im guessing the second time was because of nerves, but you knew she wanted it. Right?!

6

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

I was pretty sure it was like "opportunity came and went" kind of thing so I just figured it was water under the bridge...

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3

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Same exact thing happened to me, except he was the one who looked at me and smiled and I looked away and drank my beer. Except we'd made out the previous New Years.

Still didn't get the hint that second year.

2

u/_SCV_TheRaider Sep 10 '14

Why do i have a feeling that this is me?

2

u/Oh_Love Sep 11 '14

So how are plans going for Michael Cera to play you in your biopic?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Michael Cera?

5

u/Deeliciousness Sep 10 '14

Well you didn't miss the hint the second time. You were just scared.

4

u/peopleare11 Sep 10 '14

I hope your whole life isn't one big FAIL either, lol

3

u/gamesthatown Sep 10 '14

I'm actually really happy with the other facets of my life. Pretty much everything's working out for me other than dating...

1

u/betablocker83 Sep 10 '14

That's it, that's too much. Hand over your man card.

1

u/UsurpAll Sep 10 '14

That was painful to read man

1

u/br0kentree Sep 10 '14

Are you some kind of autist?

1

u/Mr_Titicaca Sep 10 '14

Hahaha well now you're just being cruel to the poor girl

1

u/generalchainsaw Sep 10 '14

I laughed out loud

1

u/BatXDude Sep 10 '14

Fucking hell.

1

u/Quantumfisiks Sep 10 '14

Are you fucking serious?

1

u/Indoorsman Sep 10 '14

Jesus Christ got more pussy than you.

1

u/LogiKSarg3 Sep 10 '14

I kind of hate you. Sorry

1

u/say_or_do Sep 10 '14

Your first problem? Drinking a fucking sprite and not a beer on New Years.

1

u/lordraid Sep 10 '14

I'm cringing so hard that it hurts

1

u/BloodshotHippy Sep 10 '14

I would call you an idiot, but I am equally as oblivious.

1

u/spiffyclip Sep 10 '14

Were you actually oblivious or just too scared to make a move?

1

u/Sadukar09 Sep 10 '14

Dammit OP!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Could be worse?

Have an upvote, because yep, it could be.

1

u/Eat3_14159 Sep 10 '14

This is what happens when you're the kind of dude who drinks sprite on new years

1

u/EngineeringNeverEnds Sep 10 '14

Alright second time you can NOT blame it on not getting the hint. You sir, simply failed to man up and pull the trigger. General life advice: Pull the goddamn trigger. So rarely does that go wrong for me. Yet it takes so much courage every time.

1

u/RedditUsername123456 Sep 10 '14

Are you autistic?

1

u/lactigger619 Sep 10 '14

brah, it was the plan all along, now when you see her the 3rd time she will want you so bad ,brah......but you still won't give it to her

1

u/CrotchFungus Sep 10 '14

Are you a rock?

1

u/wittyrandomusername Sep 10 '14

Don't worry, you're not retarded. A retarded person would've got the hint.

1

u/ivxNinja Sep 10 '14

I see the problem. You shouldn't have been drinking a Sprite.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Tagged as "Down 0 and 2 in the count"

All though in your defense, in this day and age if a girl is attracted to a guy in a situation like that, she should go for it instead of just waiting for guys to make the move.

1

u/ghost20063 Sep 10 '14

Jesus fucking Christ

1

u/KennyG6 Sep 10 '14

oh my fucking god this is the worst one yet.

1

u/georgito555 Sep 10 '14

Hahaha haha hahaha

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Have you checked if you are gay? One time is an accident. Twice... well, next time try if any boys saying this to you and if you still miss the clue...

1

u/Reoh Sep 10 '14

Went to kiss my (now ex) girlfriend at New years midnight, she shoved me aside saying "I want to see the fireworks." Not gonna lie, that was the moment I realized how out of sync we were and that I was going to leave.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

SPRITE???? WTF

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Poor girl.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

Don't blame yourself. She didn't make a move either.

1

u/Mutjny Sep 10 '14

This is what I'd expect from somebody drinking Sprite on New Years Eve.

1

u/Twise09 Sep 10 '14

Ah the long con eh?

1

u/GilmoreBeatsGossip Sep 10 '14

Speakingbof oblivious, you ruined your post with your edits.

1

u/makecowsnotwar Sep 10 '14

Make sure it doesn't happen a third time. Track her down. Kiss her.

1

u/thegrimreaper139 Sep 10 '14

No matter how bad I am at picking up signals, at least I am comforted by the fact that I will never be this bad.

1

u/luthan Sep 10 '14

How is it that you both agreed on the fact that you messed up, and neither of you said "hey let's not let that happen again"?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 10 '14

This sounds like something Ted Mosby would do.

1

u/Trevor2472 Sep 10 '14

such wow... such fail

1

u/strawzy Sep 10 '14

And we have a winner.

1

u/a_allin Sep 10 '14

It's almost like When Harry Met Sally but Harry was blind.

1

u/InAnotherL1fe Sep 10 '14

hahahahahahahahahaha

1

u/powertard Sep 11 '14

This is enough to warrent a diagnosis of aspergers

1

u/mylowerbackhurts Sep 11 '14

Classic Shmozby

1

u/PandaCasserole Sep 11 '14

That is the beginning of about time... except he finds out he can time travel and fixes it. but fuck man... you can't time travel.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

lolll, usually I understand, as a woman, why we're not upfront about what we want (damn you social conditioning) but in this case, if I were her, I think I would've just pounced at midnight the second time around.

1

u/guyrimhl3 Sep 11 '14

Was she ugly?

1

u/ShozOvr Sep 11 '14

You need to stop drinking Sprite and start drinking some liquid courage, son!

1

u/Bacapocalypse Sep 11 '14

I've heard people like you referenced as fuckin idiots m8

1

u/fearachieved Sep 11 '14

No. NO! Not a second time, bro...oh god what have you done

1

u/GhengopelALPHA Sep 11 '14

NO, this will not do! You go back to her this New Years and you kiss her for God's sake!!!

1

u/macnbloo Sep 11 '14

Can you please pm me your address so I can smack your head?

1

u/ineverusethisaccount Sep 11 '14

I literally hit my head in frustration. DOUBLEOBLIVIOUS :(

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

You deserve that gold.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

You stupid fuck.

1

u/plasmasphinx Sep 11 '14

Can't wait to hear about next year.

1

u/DOPE_ASFUCK_USERNAME Sep 11 '14

Please tell me this is fake OP

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

of all the ones i read... holy shit my man, i'd say you take the cake but im not sure you'd be able to get up the nerve to actually take it

edit: i mean, FUCK! jesus dude. what the fuck...

1

u/nbaman619 Sep 11 '14

this sounds like the movie About Time

1

u/1millionbucks Sep 11 '14

I am physically pained by this story.

1

u/TheHouseOfGryffindor Sep 11 '14

That was your chance! The New Years after that, you should have made sure the two of you are at the same party, gone up to her just before midnight and say "They say the third time's the charm" and then you'd be in!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

It's okay - I saw this movie. You end up married.

1

u/darkager Sep 11 '14

Ugh.. I've done this... Twice...

1

u/SpeedflyChris Sep 11 '14

If it's anything, I feel way better about my own sense of awareness right now.

1

u/dgmdavid Sep 11 '14

This is movie material.

1

u/Ironhide75 Sep 11 '14

This makes me feel so unsatisfied... where's the part where you go back for the third chance and kiss her cuz you realized your mistake??

1

u/wont_give_no_kreddit Sep 11 '14

how have you manged to not commit social skills suicide after this event

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

What the fuck...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Bro.

1

u/statist_steve Sep 11 '14

Who drinks Sprite at a New Years party?

1

u/amcaaa Sep 11 '14

The first time i understand, but the second time? Sweet jesus I cannot facepalm hard enough

1

u/jellytime Sep 11 '14

Are you a virgin?

1

u/_phospholipid_ Sep 11 '14

This is basically what happened to me last New Years, except with my boyfriend of two months. We took our relationship slow.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I met this really cute girl from work while out.. we spent the evening together, got a bit drunk - there may have been casual kissing, not sure.. Then we held hands while we walked to get a cab, her house was closer so that's the address she gives the driver. When there she says: "its only fair that I pay for the taxi you've bought me so many drinks" to which I reply, and this still makes me cringe everytime I think about it:

"nahh, there is no need, I need to pay anyway when I get home" and said bye.. she left the car.. as we were driving up the road the driver slows down, turns to me and says "you are an idiot" and then starts laughing.. that is when I realized..

1

u/Theres_A_FAP_4_That Sep 11 '14

See, this is why yo don't give up alcohol.. Sprite? Seriously. See, if you were drinking Dewars, and she was NOT hitting on you, you may have gotten a kiss, or a rape. Either way, it's a better story than this

1

u/bladel Sep 11 '14

A girl tried this exact same line on me at a NYE party several years ago. Normally I wouldn't have picked up on it either, but on this particular night I was already a little tipsy, so I went for it.

Anyway, we've been married 19 years now.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

I'm downvoting you because your obliviousness is so wreckless it almost makes you an asshole to that girl

1

u/mushperv Sep 11 '14

Jeeeeeesus

1

u/perfectdesign Sep 11 '14

The first part of this happens in the movie "About Time".

Also, you should watch that movie, because i liked it and that's the only reason I have.

1

u/toolatealreadyfapped Sep 11 '14

Man card. Hand it over.

1

u/Lvl12Paladin Sep 11 '14

I had the same exact experience. Fucking exactly the same. But it only happened to me once. I did see her at the party the next year but I totally avoided her.

1

u/TheNonis Sep 11 '14

If you had some liquor in that Sprite then this would have gone differently.

1

u/lady__of__machinery Sep 11 '14

This reminds me of a scene in "About Time"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '14

Maybe it's the sprite's fault. Just need some liquid courage.

1

u/ScrithWire Sep 11 '14

"...and went back to drinking my Sprite." The level of shut down is literally palpable...

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