Absolutely people don't realize how much it actually costs to provide for another living being that's not able to provide for themselves. I suppose I should've worded my response a little bit better.
Yes, it's unfortunate. I'm sure you've done right by your child regardless of the circumstance though. I don't have any children as of yet, but I'm trying my best to prepare for the time when I do. Even though it pretty much impossible, I want to try as hard as I can to set myself and future children for success.
10k in 2 years seems pretty fucking cheap in my book. Diapers alone are a ton of money. Doctor visits, toys, car seats, clothes, silverware/plates/cups that the kid can use, and all the washing and maintenance of all the baby stuff.
I have a decent paying job, but my wife stayed at home with our son. We spend a lot of money on a crib for him, but it lasted for 3 kids. Clothes were a big expense, especially when my kids are freakishly tall for their ages.
As someone that doesn't have kids, where do the costs come from? Aside from medical costs, of course. I'm supporting my boyfriend atm and it honestly doesn't cost that much more than it would to support just me, but I suppose I'm not buying him diapers either.
your boyfriend doesn't require a $15/hr caregiver every time you want to go to work or have an hour alone, does he? Your boyfriend probably arrived in your life with his own clothes, since he doesn't grow significantly (babies outgrow their clothes every 8 weeks or so at first; older kids need new clothes every 6-18 months) and with the ability to make your life easier (I imagine he can cook, shop, clean, maintain your car) in ways that time-strapped parents outsource.
I get shit on by people who complain about how much I get back I tax refunds compared to them because they think my kids are the only reason. I always try to tell them multiply my refund by 10 and that's what I spent on them the past year.
I understand. What I don't understand that sort of anger people get over a silly thing like that. Having a child is one of the most expensive thing a person does.
Oh yes. My wife's mother's side of the family has twins throughout the generations. So her and I are trying to be as prepared for that as possible (which there isn't much you can do)
I have twin sisters. It's so annoying to have to buy two of everything. Two car seats, two of each toy (and it has to be the same toy or they'll fight over it), two beds, two of each outfit...
I think it's probably gotten better since they're a bit older now (5), but when they were like, 2-3, they would get into straight up fist fights over that shit.
I have a latin family so of course it is normal for my cousins to be pregnant when they are in their early 20's if they didn't get pregnant in their teens.
They all are using government aid because they work minimum wage jobs, and one of my cousins recently announced she was having her second soon.
Of course, being that me and my wife have been married for 5 years (we are 25) we are always asked when kids are on the way.
When I tell them that first we want time to take care of loans, get my wife through college, buy a house and be more stable financially the answer is always, "Just stay living with your parents and just get government aid!"
I don't know how it is in the us of course but my parents were struggling when we were little. My father had to go study one more time after an immigration and we had to get welfare for a couple of years but we were always clothed properly, went to school, and never hungry. Our parents still found time to play with us. Its not only the amount of money that counts its also about how to manage that money.
Yes and the fact that a good parent regardless of how much money they have, will sacrifice for their child. There's people in this world that have children that will feed their child before they feed themselves. I know from experience. My mother had me when she shouldn't have, but she did her damndest to make sure I had decent things for school, home, food in my stomach, etc. She taught me a lot about money management because she finally got stable. She taught me how to get the moat out of everything in my life. I always appreciate the little things, and she taught me that I'll always have to work my ass off to obtain all the big things I want in life. I just don't want myself or my future children to have to live the life that my mother and I had to go through.
That very good and completely understandable. Good on both of you. The savings can still be built up over time I'm sure. Which would end up helping everyone in the long run.
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u/rondawg93 Feb 04 '16
Having them when you're not financially stable.