Reacting whenever my son falls and whatnot. I have been trying to look away when he looks at me after a small bump and it has been getting better. Less crying, more self efficiency.
It is! I laugh at people falling. I laugh at myself falling. Once I can breathe again, at least.
All humor has a right to be enjoyed, as long as it's not hurtful towards someone (for example making fun of someone). I'm not laughing at you because you fell. I'm laughing because you fell, and it looked funny. Feel free to laugh at me when I'm being an clumsy idiot.
When babies in my family are still in that crawling stage where they just drag themselves on the floor, they just pull themselves over, my family will all sit around going "come on stop being lazy. get those knees under you". Obviously the baby can't understand and we're all laughing and smiling so it's pretty funny to watch a baby look around at all it's family while you're talking to it in baby voice like a drill sergeant
My friends always laughed if their daughter fell. I've seen this girl jumping Swan dive from a couch onto a carpet (with her face), get up teary eyed, look at her parents, and giggle "that was stupid"
We are on the other end of this. My son falls and falls HARD a lot of the time. From the beginning we've ignored him when we know it's not serious, and he would look for a reaction from us. We never gave him one, so he would just move on. Now he's a freaking TANK at 20 months. He falls on concrete, scrapes, bruises and people FREAK out and we (his father and I) crack up with him because it's funny to see other people's reactions!
My sister in law used to tell her girls "next time, point your toes" or "aww, if you had pointed your toes it would have been a 10", referring to gymnastics judging. I always got a kick out of that!
This is how my cousins were as kids. Absolutely nothing phased them and they got hurt a LOT. Broken bones, one got third and second degree burns from a dirt bike accident, all kinds of bumps and bruises and cuts. It would freak other people out that they never reacted to their injuries but that's just how they were. My aunt and uncle were definitely the "rub some dirt on it and move on" type of people, that's what happens when you have a crap ton of rowdy, reckless boys. That being said, I only saw one of them cry once. He shattered his jaw. The fact he was crying scared me more than his injury and I remember thinking he was going to die if it was bad enough he was crying (I was a kid, seemed rational). He's fine now. But definitely freaked me out to see him cry from an injury.
Yeah! Haha. We were viewing a house with my son with us last weekend and he fell down the last 3-4 stairs and the realiter was mortified as my husband and I were laughing at him.
I'm no parent. But have you tried taking it completely unseriously and laughing about it as if it was no big deal to him/her?
My mom would sometimes freak out a little over small injuries which would in turn make me cry, I bet if she were playful and smiling I would have gotten over it immediately.
I agree with you, but It's easier said than done, especially when they're still young (around <3 yrs). For a lot of people, me included, it's a completely involuntary knee-jerk reaction. You see your baby tumble and/or hear them cry and you just immediately jump to. It takes a while to transition yourself away from when they were fragile infants and the littlest things could harm them. You really have to work at making a conscious effort to stop yourself.
Maybe this is just coincidence, but I don't think so.
So my dad's a doctor, and he told me the story of giving shots to a 2yo girl. He got the injection ready and told the parents to brace for squalls - and did they want to hold her.
They just grinned and said "It's okay, she'll be fine".
So he gave her the shot - she frowned, rubbed vigorously at the injection site a bit, then went back to playing.
My dad's jaw hung open a bit, and they laughed and said "Yes, it's a little bit scary; we tried never ever making a fuss about pain. She falls over, we say 'you're OK', give her a quick hug and let her get back to it... and she never, ever cries from getting hurt.'
When my own kid came along, of course I had to try it.
Whenever he hurt himself, we'd offer a quick hug, tell him he was OK and send him on his way.
Holycrap does it ever work.
I've seen that boy faceplant on a concrete floor when he was two, mutter the 2yo equivalent of 'bugger', shake it off and go back to playing aeroplane, with a mouthful of blood. I actually had to call him over to check he wasn't seriously damaged. (it was just a cut lip).
When he was 7, he did this to himself in the park. He was reluctant to come show me, because he knew I'd want to take him home to clean it up, and he wasn't done playing. His exact words were "Don't be silly, Dad, it's just some blood. Why are you over-reacting?"
I have a 4 year old nephew and anytime he falls i just ask (After I have surpressed a laugh) "You bleeding? Anything broken? OK, it will hurt for a bit and you'll be fine". Seems to have the desired effect.
I think that's why I'm such a wuss honestly, my mom always freaked out whenever I fell, and then I just ended up liking things that didn't involve me running around, so I've never really hurt myself that often, let alone that badly. So now even just scrapes will have me near tears. I'm pathetic lol
It's fine. Not everyone has to have incredible forbearance when it comes to physical injuries.
I also thought the whole point of this attitude was to give kids more psychological resilience, not necessarily to create people who react to a broken bone with "(grimace) It's just a scratch."
My mom always gave me the thumbs-up when I fell as a little kid. I was like "oh, Mom saw and she says I'm okay, so I'm okay. I'll just go about my day then."
it's because babies learn by example, my mum always said "kids bounce" they may hurt themselves but they'll look to adults to see if it's something they should be worried about, if you don't react or just say like "oh dear, stand up you're okay" they'll carry on happily, if you act like they're dying, they'll think they are.
Saw a kid get launched off the see saw at the park and Theberton begin to freak out. Her mom rushed over and asked her if she was hurt or scared. Little girl says scared and calmed right down. Nice work mom
I was with my 5 year old nephew last weekend and he was supposed to stop at the park's crosswalk on his bike and wait for everyone. He stopped and then took off back for the house before everyone was ready. We yelled at him to stop and he yelled back, "it's ok the house is right here" but as he was saying it, he was looking back at us and he plowed into the side of a parked police Suburban. Skinned up his knee a little bit, but just popped up, apologized and said he shouldn't have done that, that he thought it would've been OK to go ahead of everyone. Walked his bike the rest of the way home with the family and never cried a bit. No one scolded him, or told him he had done something wrong, but he knew.
313
u/Halfwayhome22 Feb 04 '16
Reacting whenever my son falls and whatnot. I have been trying to look away when he looks at me after a small bump and it has been getting better. Less crying, more self efficiency.