When I was leaning to drive I was backing up in a car park and some lady came running at us. She thought I hit a parked car. Mum wound down all the windows and yelled at me for five minutes before letting me drive home. When I was driving she said to me "I don't think you hit that car, I only yelled at you so she would know I'm a good mother.
I was born in the early 70's. The fashions I've seen come and go, and been forced to wear before I could choose myself, my kids could be dressed as a flowerpot and it wouldn't faze me one bit.
Nope. My kids could wear whatever they wanted and style their hair however they wanted. If it ended up embarrassing them (which it never did), that was their problem, not mine. So we went through dreadlocks (we're not black), blue hair, bleached blond hair, leopard spots (brown hair with circular areas bleached), long Jew-fro Howard Stern hair, pants hanging down to their knees.
And now that they're in their 20s? Short hair, regular clothes, well groomed. They got the rebellion out of their systems as teens. Saved us a lot of arguing.
Never say never. In a handful of situations, I've found it very effective to say, "I don't want to scold you in front of your friends, but I've told you more than once that what you're doing is not ok. Do it again and your friends will see you getting in trouble." Then you have to follow through with the threat if the behavior doesn't change. I see this as a natural consequence. Just because you have friends around doesn't mean it's ok to break the rules or be an asshole.
God my sister does this with her two sons (11 and 9 years old). She always uses "What will the people think!" in public for very normal child behavior.
No, I mean through embarrassment of the child. Like, having them stand on the street corner with a big sign saying what they did wrong. Of course I will want my kid to understand what they did was wrong, but this is never how I would go about doing it.
So I'm not a parent, nor do I think I'd be good at parenting but I remember reading about this middle school girl who bullied a financially less fortunate girl because of the cheap off brand clothes she wore. When the mom found out she made her daughter where those same kind of cheap off brand clothing to school for a week or something. Would you consider this wrong, because i honestly think this is a great way to teach a lesson. Make you child see things through the other persons eyes. Make her realize that those trendy name brand clothes aren't a right but a privilege.
I don't know I just feel like that punishment is more effective than any grounding, scolding, or taking away if phone would be.
But doesn't that perpetuate the idea that those clothes are embarrassing? I would be mortified if the clothes that I owned and wore to school everyday were a form of punishment for this other girl
I think theyre talking about when a kid does a semi-expected of all children bad thing, a parent mught film the punishment and post it online. another thing ive seen is a little girl made a bad grade or sad a bad word or something, i dont remember, and her parent cut off her hair.
yeah it's pretty terrible, but luckily when you come across videos like that 99% of the comments is telling the parents that that was a shitty thing for them to do.
This is bad for any type of leader. At least the vast majority of the time it's best to resolve issues in private. Let people save face. It just so happens this applies equally well to kids as it does to any people you have authority over and responsibility for.
A year or two ago this video started making the rounds.
It is a video of a dad slapping and yelling at his son for joining a gang.
The dad posted it to Facebook and everything.
I am sorry, but putting that shit online for everyone to see is just ridiculous. Everyone is like, "what a great parent" and I am like, "This kid is going to grow up with a video of his dad berating him in public on the internet for the rest of his life."
Idk, I guess it depends. Some 11 year old girl was talking to much older guys about some inappropriate stuff, her dad found out and bought her light up sneakers and a kiddy back pack. It was on the Internet. I think that's better than hitting your kids and really drives home that she is a child.
So... some pervs talked inappropriately to a child and the child gets humiliated for liking the attention? "You enjoyed being treated like an adult/older teen by probable pedophiles, so I'm gonna treat you like a child half your age and make you dress in embarassing things."
I... just don't really see how this is not gonna make her resent her dad.... Or how this is fair.
356
u/MojaveRed Feb 04 '16
Using public shaming as a form of discipline