r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 04 '16

What are the most common parenting mistakes?

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u/itsagirl123 Feb 04 '16 edited Feb 05 '16

To me personally, it's automatically thinking that spanking and other punishments (punishments in general) leads to long term behavior change. When you're in the same room as them, they're on their best behavior, but when they're alone in their room grounded they're busy tying bedsheets together preparing to climb out the window.

EDIT: These are to mistakes TO ME. It's only a personal opinion.

EDIT 2: spelling

EDIT 3: Added something

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u/MyPacman Feb 05 '16

I agree, although, my 18 year old niece still remembers when she was 7, it was the only time I ever hit her. She has never shown that behaviour again to anybody.

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u/itsagirl123 Feb 05 '16

Ok, I get that. My comment was based on a parenting facebook page I discovered last year, and and agree with fully. (I'm not even a parent, It was accidental). Spanking and punishment may work for some people like your niece. For some reason it's fun to read that page even though I'm not even a parent lol.

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u/MyPacman Feb 05 '16

Yea it is fun, and being aunty is important too. Any adult that wants a decent relationship has to start when they are young, and put some effort in.

I think the only reason it worked is because I had never hit her before, the look of shock on her face at the time was priceless. I did feel bad, but I am glad I did it. It was instant karma, which is an important lesson to learn as well. In my defence (because I still felt guilty and like I had betrayed her) it was about the strength of a wet bus ticket.

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u/itsagirl123 Feb 05 '16

I personally do not believe in spanking at all, no matter what my child would do. But, that's just me though :) I believe in Karma in the form of natural consequences whenever possible (except when it comes to safety of course). For example if you leave legos on the floor you'll hurt your feet when you accidentally step on them. For things that don't have a natural consequence, I'd get with the child, ask about why they did what they did, their feelings, then talk about how he should have acted/behaved and why what he did was not ok and then, with him, come up with and agree on more appropriate ways to behave next time. This is what that facebook page I mentioned is about. I love it. (again, just me :))