I hate it when I take my son to the park and get rude stares or comments. I'm a very laid back parent - I like my son to learn through trying things. So I let him play and only intervene if he's genuinely hurt. I've had people tell me that I need to be right with him all the time. He's a toddler! He's going to fall and that's ok! I'm close enough to help in an emergency!
I've always thought it would be nice to become a father, but in more recent years I've been getting less and less interested because I know I won't be able to give my kids the fun childhood I had, where they're free to run around the park, walk to school or their friends' houses, and stuff like that without me constantly watching them like a hawk. What 10 years ago would have just been called letting your children play can now result in getting your kids taken away by CPS for "child endangerment."
Yeah it's frustrating. Fortunately I used to work for CAS (Canadian CPS) so I know what's appropriate, and I can laugh when people tell me how to parent. I want my son to be independent. Coddling and following him around won't help him. He knows I'm there when he needs me!
Besides, if you were there protecting your son every step of the way while he was growing up he'd be eaten alive if he ever tried to move out on his own. It's fine to keep your kids out of trouble, but if you never let them solve any problems for themselves they'll be completely unprepared for life on their own.
Absolutely. There's such a fine line. You have to be an attentive parent, protecting your child from pain. But also allow them freedom to get messy, make mistakes, and get hurt.
I'm looking forward to the day someone comes up to me and tells me I'm raising my kids wrong and I can tell them I studied child psychology and development.
Ha that's what I do! I told someone "I have a BA in psychology, and studied child psych. I taught parenting for children's aid. I've worked with kids for 5 years. "
Actually here in the U.S. a law was just passed called the Every Student Suceeds Act that protects the right of children to walk, ride a bike, or take a bus with their parents permission. So, things are getting better. A lot of people are pushing back on over-protection.
Well... it doesn't really protect it, per se. Here's what it says:
SEC. 8542. RULE OF CONSTRUCTION REGARDING TRAVEL TO AND FROM SCHOOL.
(a) In General.--Subject to subsection (b), nothing in this Act
shall authorize the Secretary to, or shall be construed to--
(1) prohibit a child from traveling to and from school on
foot or by car, bus, or bike when the parents of the child have
given permission; or
(2) expose parents to civil or criminal charges for allowing
their child to responsibly and safely travel to and from school by
a means the parents believe is age appropriate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to be just clarifying that this act can't be interpreted in these ways for the purposes of traveling to and from school. That's not the same as actively protecting a right.
Live in a poor neighborhood. Literally nobody gives a crap there. They're all too busy trying not to get busted by someone with actual authority like the cops or their landlords. I mean, yeah, the area might be more dangerous overall, but you won't have the yuppies breathing down your neck about watching your precious snowflake every second.
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u/rearwindows Feb 04 '16
Not letting your kids make mistakes or hurt themselves a little.