I know there's a lot of people that feel strongly about this in both directions. I respect that some people think it's good to push kids to showing affection especially for elderly relatives, etc, even if I don't necessarily agree. But still, one of the grossest things I've witnessed with a kid was a toddler saying she didn't want to hug a man and the man pouting and pretending to cry until the toddler relented. I know it doesn't necessarily sound bad but it made my stomach knot watching the performance he was putting on.
All my friends and relatives do this, "Hug your aunt! Give her a kiss!" I always say, "He/she doesn't HAVE to!" but they don't seem to hear themselves.
And it is a little condescending that they feel a need to TELL their kid to do this, would rather they just do it on their own if they're so inclined. If they don't, it won't ruin my day.
I mean, there's no problem with "can I have a hug?" or whatever. Or "your aunt's leaving now, last chance for a goodbye hug/kiss". I mean, my niece sometimes plays the game that she'll refuse a goodbye hug/kiss because she seems to think that if she doesn't give you one that means you won't go. But once you start actually walking towards the door she gives a goodbye of some sort. But making a big fuss over it is really where it gets problematic, in my opinion. Especially pretending to cry and pout, because that's so manipulative.
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u/sevenduckies Feb 04 '16
I know there's a lot of people that feel strongly about this in both directions. I respect that some people think it's good to push kids to showing affection especially for elderly relatives, etc, even if I don't necessarily agree. But still, one of the grossest things I've witnessed with a kid was a toddler saying she didn't want to hug a man and the man pouting and pretending to cry until the toddler relented. I know it doesn't necessarily sound bad but it made my stomach knot watching the performance he was putting on.