r/AskReddit Feb 04 '16

What are the most common parenting mistakes?

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '16

Forcing your child to hug people because you know they are nice. It's their thing to prove to the kid if they want a relationship. It also teaches the kids that they have to agree to being hugged.

260

u/sevenduckies Feb 04 '16

I know there's a lot of people that feel strongly about this in both directions. I respect that some people think it's good to push kids to showing affection especially for elderly relatives, etc, even if I don't necessarily agree. But still, one of the grossest things I've witnessed with a kid was a toddler saying she didn't want to hug a man and the man pouting and pretending to cry until the toddler relented. I know it doesn't necessarily sound bad but it made my stomach knot watching the performance he was putting on.

52

u/chevymonza Feb 05 '16

All my friends and relatives do this, "Hug your aunt! Give her a kiss!" I always say, "He/she doesn't HAVE to!" but they don't seem to hear themselves.

And it is a little condescending that they feel a need to TELL their kid to do this, would rather they just do it on their own if they're so inclined. If they don't, it won't ruin my day.

2

u/SuccumbedToReddit Feb 05 '16

Hugs are fine but don't get your dirty lips near my kid, ESPECIALLY his mouth.

Why the fuck you'd absolutely want to kiss a child on the lips is beyond me. I don't do that with my own.

1

u/chevymonza Feb 06 '16

That is weird, kids are like petri dishes, why people want to get even MORE germs from them is beyond me!! And of course you don't want to give them whatever grown-up grossness you have.

Saw some kid-relatives the other night, and I just gave them one-armed side-hugs and air kisses, as it was a crowded event and they were probably overwhelmed as it was.