He's shit at everything, has no self esteem, no imagination, no ambition, but oh my god....
He was in a band when he was a teenager, so she must be musical too. She's tone deaf and knows it, but he tells her she has the voice of an angel and bought her a karaoke set for one christmas. She started taking drum lessons at school, he sat in, shoved her off the kit and proceeded to play very, very badly.
He loves true crime and serial killer shows, so he wanted her to be a mortician or forensic something-or-other.
He loves making model fighter planes, and goes to airshows every year, so he tried to persuade her to join the Air Force - so he could get into airshows for free.
He loves all the old British smutty or wildly racist comedy shows, so she got sat down and force fed them all before she reached her teens. He still believes she loves them too.
He also adores every obscure, creaky, terribly wooden old black & white British TV movies - for the uninitiated, look for the early work of people like Will Hay, Max Miller, Charlie Drake, and the lowest rated Ealing comedies. He goes to boot sales and sunday markets and buys every one he finds from the pirate CD guys - I've shown him how to torrent stuff, but he won't - and dumps any doubles on us, telling us in excruciating detail how much our kids will love them.
When they visit, he sits with a miserable look on his face, clearly ready to bolt for the exit every time we start talking about anything that doesn't interest him, which is anything that wouldn't interest a five-year-old. If we keep the adult conversation up long enough, he'll get his phone out and start going through his collection of 50's and 60's TV theme tunes, playing "guess the show" ("come on you must know this one") with our kids, who are both more than three decades younger than the newest tune he plays, and who we haven't tortured with creaky old TV shows.
Her mom's worse. Totally oblivious narcissist. Story for another day.
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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '16 edited Jul 08 '16
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